Song of Solomon 3:1 By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
Song of Solomon 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.
"Kizanne." A voice whispers but I was too comfortable to move. "Kizanne dear."
Humming as a reply, I turn and that was when I felt it. Wetness on the bed below me and between my legs. Soaked. My eyes shot opened and I look down to see the bed drowned with blood and so is my clothes. Looking around the room, my eyes connected with more than five pairs. Nas, Zahkeme, Grace, Sehanna, Da'drian, Zahkeme's mother Ilah and his uncle Jah'real the herbalist. "Sorry."
That was the only thing I could say looking over at Zahkeme who only raised a brow then his mother speaks. "It's nothing but materialistic things dear."
The women rush the men out and help me to the shower, help me got dressed and by the time I return to the bedroom the sheets are changed. "Plastic covered below the sheets and covered the pillows last night." Sehanna explains and I nod.
They help me back on bed, open the windows to let fresh air and sunlight inside on the expensive mahoe wood furnitures. Brightening every corner of the black and white walls. As soon as I got comfortable the pain starts again.
The bedroom door opens and the men came inside again. "Now."
I was suddenly being held down on the bed and Nas held my jaws to keep my mouth open. Staring down at me with a deadly glare while Jah'real pour something in my mouth. It was so bitter that I cough on it spewing it in Nas face and my own. "Swallow it quick!"
I tried and when I did, it makes me shiver then folded leafs were placed in my mouth, on my tongue and in my cheeks. "Chew it in the next five minutes without swallowing and when yuh mouth full a enough saliva then you can spit it out."
I followed Jah'real's instructions and just as I spit I vomits everything from my stomach then the women bring me to the bathroom, removes my underwear and put me on the toilet to sit. "What this for?"
"A form of cleansings but on yuh inside. A tell yuh mada from yuh period starts and she a follow yuh fada and him parents." My grandfather Noel says and he walks into the room. "I tell har to bring yuh to the Sparks for help but him carry you to the doctor mek dem a tell you bout it natural."
It wasn't long before I feel something moves inside my stomach like an active baby, the movement was slow but it gets harder and painful. The men came inside the bathroom and held my hand while Jah'real stuffed my mouth with more of the slimy leafs on my jaw, between my teeth, below and above my tongue.
It felt like child's birth but natural, moving down to my sore vagina walls painfully as I squeeze onto the men's arms and bit hard on the slimly leaves while I groan in pain. It wasn't long before I feel it at my entrance, before it fell and they move me from the toilet seats closing it shut then flush. I spit the leaves inside the bin placed below my mouth and got it rinsed. "A wah dat man?"
"Something bad. Don't worry bout nothing after this." Jah'real tells me looking down at me with identical features to his brothers and nephews.
"Heavy periods. Tek care." I nod my head and he leaves with my grandfather who gives me one last look.
"Don't worry bout it. Uncle work in mysterious ways like this one." Sehanna says, pointing at Zahkeme.
"Yeh. Don't worry now. By later yuh will feel much better. Come eat yuh breakfast because it's lunch time." Grace adds. Fixing me up and helps me back to the bed.
"How yuh feel dear?" Ilah asks.
"Drained, sore, tender and hungry." She touches her son and they both leaves the room together.
Leaving Grace, Sehanna, Nas and Da'drian.
"Dat was weird." I agree with Da'drian on that.
"Yea. Can't close mih legs to how sore down deh feel." I explain.
"Like after child's birth. A painful one which involves stitches." Grace laughs, breaking the tension in the room.
"Yes!" I responds, with a laugh of my own.
"Uno done?" We look over at Nas who was looking at me. "Need anything?"
"When can I go home?"
"When yuh feeling better than before." He says.
"An when is that?"
"Ask Zahkeme." I look at him like he was crazy but he just laughs. "Wih carry some things from yuh house and it in the closet.
They left not long after along with Da'drian who got a ride with Sehanna. They were going back to Westmoreland on the Sparks residence located on Maroon Avenue. They believe Diamond will be having the babies soon so they need to say around to plan a suprise for her.
I was left alone with Zahkeme again but he was nowhere to be found.
By the end of the week when my period finishes completely without a numbing pain, headache or back pain but a simple bellyache, I had to call everyone's that was there for me to thank. The only person who didn't get a thanks was Zahkeme as he was out for the day.
I am here since Monday night and today is Sunday. The start of another week and I was more than relaxed but haven't stepped outside the house though the front door since I came. It was either from the room to the bathroom and back. Today, I wanted to get out and thank Zahkeme before calling my brother to bring me home. I didn't want to get too comfortable in this man's house like I didn't have my own. I want to get back on my feet and stop feeling sorry for being a easy target of sexual harassment.
I haven't speak with Devin for seven days and I need to do it soon. I need to find out if my baby is alright.
I got my things that my brother brought from my house and pack it by the doorway as I leave the room to return the lunch plate I have eaten out of. I remember being carried down this hallway as I passes each framed photo nailed to the wall. Each with a family member or friend, then a shelf with gold medals, Awards, news paper clips and plenty certificates.
I move further down the hall and stops at the kitchen. It is a wide open space with the view of the living and dining area in one, just like my home. Walking into the expensive furnished kitchen, I went over to the sink and starts washing the plate, rinse then put it in the drainer before walking over to the living area. Sitting in the Chocolate colored Microfiber couch and rest my head on the back them closed my eyes.
It was a little nap that I took and just as I was opening my eyes, Zahkeme stood above me with a blanket and it fell on my lap. My eye went to his face and I realised that he got a little shave showing how handsome he really is.
"Finally out of the room. How long you out here sleeping?" He asks, moving over to the matching chocolate brown Recliner where he sits looking over at me.
"Yeah, I've rest enough and I was out here for ten minutes or less." I replied, looking elsewhere because his gaze was on my face for a bit too long. "Thank you for taking care of me. I owe you for that..."
"You don't owe me. I did it because I want to and not because I have to." My eyes found his again and he was serious about his answers so I nod.
My focus went to the coffee table where a bundle of Newsletter are and I reach over and took the first one from the pile. The business Magazine and there on the headlines is 'Scarlett's agro industries turning away major benefactors and more.' with the photo of our front gates with the company sign at one side and my business photo at the other. Sitting around a office chair with my right hand under my chin and a challenging glare in my eyes at the camera man. I instantly turn to page A1 and starts reading.
'Recent research shows that Scarlett agro industries is officially owned by CEO Kizanne Kissan Reynolds. A single mother who's boyfriend Devon Scarlett died four years old by gunshot in her presence by a white male bodyguard. She was pregnant at the time and her deceased boyfriend's mother signed over the land to her in exchange and thanks for her hard work to care for her when she was sickly. Ms. Scarlett died the following week after her son's burial leaving behind the property to Mrs Reynolds. Granddaughter of Paul Reynolds CEO of Hope Springs newsletters and magazines, Daughter of; Pastor and Film director Winston Reynolds and mother a Marriage councillor Kadian Whyte Reynolds. She is also the most favourite niece to Clinton Reynolds, Property owner of blossoming Hope Springs new Gated community.
Despite her wealthy family backgrounds, she was working as a Garbage collector, Top Maid at Adam and Eve Garden and spa, during her pregnancy and attention School at the same time.
Her Agro business is a major benefactors to the factories, hotel and Tourism industry along with the Hope springs import and export management industry...'
I stopped reading there and throw it down on the coffee table with anger. They have no right to do this. Kemar and Natasha Reynolds have no right to be the Reporter, writer or editors of this. The next I took up was entertainment and Zahkeme's cousin Diamond Sparks was top left corner of the front page with the headline. 'Jamaica Preparing to welcome the second pair of Quadruplets.'
'Mother of four reveals to reporter on her Famous Ital Rastafarian Grandfather Tarrus Sparks and second cousin's Ethania Jordan funeral, that she is pregnant with quadruplets. Twenty years old Jamaican born, Famous YouTuber, internet influencer, Song writer, Reggae and dancehall artist, Diamond Dynamic Sparks born December 24.
Famous Jamaican father Jahvinchi Sparks is a Farmer and Bike Stunter, Mother Dianna Angelo is an American CEO and Billionaire.
Diamond Sparks, mysterious run away from her hotel room in LA in July...'
I begin to hate my grandfather's company and their work. Instead of making good things look great that are making it look bad. I don't think it's the writers alone that makes it bad but the damn CEO and his family who works there. All I know is I will be dealing with them later of putting my personal life out there without my permission or written approval.
After of few minutes though the rest of the paper, I put them back in the coffee table and look over at Zahkeme who was reading a book on 'Rastafarian love story' with the family member of his as the author.
"New book?" I inquire.
"Yep." He answered, looking up at me from the book.
"What's it about?" I pushed, trying to start up a conversation even though I know he is busy ready or trying to read with me bothering him.
"A man who is in love with a woman he can't have. Her family has introduced her to her future husband, an arranged marriage that she wants no part of. She ran away on the wedding day and as her lover went to stop the ceremony they both ends up without her. That was book one, this is book two." He explains calmly.
"Very." He relied dryly and went back to his reading, so I bite continuously on my bottom lip trying not to say anything else but I needed to.
"I'm leaving today." I revealed, looking outside thought the open drapes to the sandy beach.
"Okay." He says flatly and I blinked expecting more but that was all he had to say.
"Okay." I repeated almost happily and stand, walking back to the room to get dressed but as I reached and took my bag to get changed, it was taken from my hand. "Hey!"
"You're not leaving today. I will take you home tomorrow." He tells me and I look up at him with a frown.
"I have already over stayed my time here already and..."
"What's wrong with yuh?" He asks almost angrily.
"Nothing. I just need to get home and give you back your personal space and privacy." His expression only got worst as he through my bag on floor and close the bedroom door behind him. Locking us inside and I look at him wearily as my nervousness hiting me like a truck and my heart beating against my chest. "What are you doing?"
"Cut the foolishness Kizanne." He shouts and stepped back, slowly moving towards the back of the room where the bed is against the wall.
"What foolishness?" He runs his hands over down his face as a sigh of stress, then he exhales though his mouth loudly with exhaustion before leaning against the door then look over at me, sitting on the bed. "If this is about the past then we should leave it there..."
"It is." He admits calmly.
"Then leave it there. I don't want to talk it." I tell him, stubbornly with a bit of attitude.
"Then I will." I rolled my eyes at that and look away from him. "I'm still in love with you."
My head quickly turns in his direction as I look into his eyes with my frightened ones. Swallowing my saliva painfully slow before blinking because I couldn't believe my ears at all. "What?"
He repeats again and I smile before it turns to to full blown laughter.
"That can't be true. Nope. You pretended to like me but you were using me for your own benefit. I followed you around like a lost puppy and when I finally approach you and admit my feelings for you, I was turned down." I tell him trying to keep my tears in.
"I never turned you down. I was interested but you didn't realize that your brother was standing there behind you until after you tell me what you had to. I didn't know how he would react to me with his little sister. I still showed my interest in you afterwards. I brought you out, just the two of us, with my friends and even with my family. I buy you small gifts because I know you like the simplest of things.
I risk my life and went on your parents property without an invitation just to call you out from the house to go out with me. One time I did, your father saw me and called me over. Warning me not to speak with you again. I didn't listen and that was when your brother noticed my liking towards you and would use his name to get you from the house to be with me. But your father still knows and he came to my parents at an event and told them to warn me or there would be trouble if they don't. I had to keep my distance but you took it the wrong way.
You thought I used you and then avoided me when I was begging for your attention. When you wanted mine, you couldn't see your other siblings watching me and reporting me to your parents. When I want yours, you walk away and have your friends blaming me for things I never do. You didn't get threatened, I did and that's because I am a Rasta man. Your father can't admit that he liked my auntie few years ago but she turned him down because she was nearly raped and never shows interest in a man after that. He didn't understand her reason and took it to heart by hating us.
You moved on to another man and he got you pregnant. How do you think I feel when I found out that the only woman I love that isn't blood related is Pregnant with another man's child? I was left devastated and heartbroken, then I confronted Nas about it but he didn't know as yet. You didn't give me a chance, even when you were away from the clutches of your family.
I tried moving on but I can't, it never work even though I try plenty of times. I just couldn't. You fucked me up without even knowing and you blame me for everything. I made up my mind to see you last week because I had to admit my feelings to you. I asked your brother for your location and he tracked you down and I found you in the arms of another man again."
He stood by the door on the verge of shedding tears and it shows in his eyes by the way it was blurry, watery and red. Staring right at me as he breathes though his mouth tiredly.
"Fucking him in the backseat of his car. You don't deserve that! You should know better than that. He didn't bring you to his house, a hotel or somewhere comfortable. A fucking backseat like you got no moral or self respect."
The tears finally came from his eyes but his expression hardens as he glares at me. My own got blurry but I blinked the tears away, trying to keep myself together because he is partly right.
"On my way there I pray to God that you do give me another chance. I want to be with you, like we were before and even better. I want to meet your son and tell him how much I love his mother and want to marry her one day. I want to be in a strong relationship with you that your family can not tear apart again. I want to go to sleep next to you at night and wake up with you in my arms. I want to start a family with you after I make love to you but all that went down the drain when I see you allowing him to fuck you. That pussy that should be mine first. Those cute pink lips that I should kiss first. That body I wish to worship first and for you to be my last. My one and only... Tell me you don't want me. Tell me to leave you alone. Tell me you still don't have feelings for me even though you love Devon. You didn't ask me wait for you but I did because I need to hear these words from your mouth. I nee..."
I cut off his explanation and open my mouth to say what I have to.
"I was tired. I didn't have anyone to hold me like Devon use to. I wanted to feel love even if it was for just one night. I know I fucked up but I needed it. I needed the release. I needed the feeling. How would I know you would be coming there? How would I know then if you were still in love with me? I spend most of my days working, to provide for myself and Devin. That is all I know. I don't how how it feels to be taken care of by a man who has me and his child to worry about. I need loving, comfort and a lot more from a man. My son needs a father figure around because I can't be bothering my brother all the time. I took him away from the house for a while. I haven't had freedom for the longest and when I did, I want to make use of it. I want to have meaningless sex with someone who might not want me in the morning but he too pretend like he did. He kissed my scar that night and I thought he didn't notice it and I ran but he called me when I got home because I was avoiding my phone for a while.
So what if I did it once, I need to feel a man's rough hands on me while he fucked me or made love to me. I am only human. Men do it all the time but woman can't?
I think of you all the time. I wanted to know why you avoided me. I want to see you again but I fear for what would happen. I love Devon but the truth is you are my first love. I still... I was desperate. I still am. I need a man in my life but I have no one to tell. I bearly talk to anyone because I fear that I would only disgrace myself.
There is bearly any man out there who wants a woman who has a child. To provide for him and knowing he is not his.
When I'm alone I think of my life. Was I really in love or was it just a form of possession or my imagination? Do love break my heart when I least expect it? How can I love again when I fear that man being shot or another woman owns him?
I came with a package and you wouldn't want that. I don't think I could make you happy..."
Zahkeme fisted my shirt and pulled me closer to him. Holding the back of my head and I closed my eyes as he puts his lips on mine. Begging for entry then my lips parted for him to do whatever he pleases. My hands went from his soft dreadlocks to his hard toned back, his arms then his chest. Enjoying the hardness of his body against mine and I moaned happily and with need as my hands went back to his shoulders. Reaching for his hands to grip my ass and he did, when I was just in time to jump on him with my legs around his waist.
Trying to catch breath, he removes his mouth from mine but it went from my lips, cheeks, jaw and neck then to my exposed shoulder. Kissing and sucking, leaving me with hickeys and I let him. Being a moaning mess in his hold but I felt wet like clay as he mold me into whatever he wants.
Feeling weak with everything he was doing and my hands slip from around his neck and I cried out thinking I would fall to the ground but the bed was there to catch me. Zahkeme was there still, worshipping my body in the simplest way and I am loving it. He opens my legs and got between them as I attached myself to him like a slot on a tree branch.
As soon as I got the chance to so the same as he was doing to me, I took it. Biting, sucking, nibbling and kissing from his lips to his neck, shoulders and chest, rubbing myself against his erected member though his pants and he hissed in pain as it hardens. "I love you."
Smiling against his skin and stopped and looked up into his dimmed hooded eyes filled with lust and loving.
"I love you too." A smile spreads on his lips and he kisses my lips a few times before pulling me up into his arms.
With him sitting on the bed and me on his lap with my feet around him. Facing him, chest to chest hugging with my head on his hard wide shoulder, inhaling his familiar marijuana smell. "I'm sorry about everything."
"Me too. Do you want to be with me?" He asks and I kisses his neck before look into his eyes for the hundredth time today.
"Yes. If you can manage the baggage I bring."
"I can." He whispers and I nod.