Nina Clark POV
Pregnant. That's what the test says in my trembling hands.
I fall down on the ground of the bathroom, head in my hands and cry. I just cry, not knowing what I'm going to do with this news. What can I do? What should I do?
I'm 17 years old, my life is just starting. Colleges have replied, saying I could start in the fall. I can't believe this is happening, I always wished going to college, if it wasn't for me then for my mom.
Mom did everything she could for me, being only 23 when she got pregnant and my father abandoned her. She never told me why though, she just said he left without a trace. If mom said that, then that would be the truth.
I pressed on the matter once, when I was 14, I'd never seen my mom so mad and sad at the same time.
"Mom?" I wondered.
"Yes, sweetie." I took a deep breath, kind of expecting the worst of what I'm about to ask.
"Why didn't dad want us?" Her eyes closed for a moment, but her face reddened with anger.
"What is it with you and all these questions about that piece of shit?!" She screamed, mom never cursed nor used bad language around me. To say I was shocked, was an understatement.
"I just want answers, mom. I just wonder."
"Well then, welcome to my world. I have no idea why he left. He just did, Nina. He found out I was pregnant, packed his stuff and left the very next day." Her eyes widen with shock.
She never meant to say that. Even before she never said it in this way. I can see clearer now, she looks down basically closing her eyes, hands placed on the counter.
This was new for me. Mom never explained it to this extent. He didn't want me. That's what it was. All the pain, the hurt mom went through, it was because she had me.
She lost someone she loved, because of me.
Tears form and threaten to spill, but I have to be strong... Strong for mum.
"So, he didn't want me, that's why he left." Tears roll over my cheeks as I can't hold them back knowing that he left because of me.
"All you've been through, was because of me!" I sob painfully as I just stand there looking at my mom, completely distraught.
"Lord, no baby." Mom says.
"He didn't want any of it, he didn't want me anymore. He needed something else, something I couldn't give him."
"Does he even know about me? How old I am? My birthday? How I look?" She shakes her head.
"I wrote to him the day you were born, but the letter came back unopened."
"Baby, look at me." I did as she told me, but not really looking at her. I couldn't hold back my tears even if I wanted to.
"Never, ever ask me about him again. He's not worth it." The tone she used was giving me chills allover my body. I was scared, so I just nodded. If she was this mad, then it was with good reason.
"It doesn't matter anymore, it's in the past. All I need is you, you mean everything to me. You are my world."
It was the last time I asked about him. I know his name, his first name. David. I wondered what happened to him, and I won't lie and say that I never dreamed of him coming to get both of us. Taking care of my mom like he was supposed to.
I look in the mirror, only to see a disappointment.
"How could I have done this to myself." I asked the reflection of myself.
I used to be a happy girl, brown curly hair, almond brown eyes where you could see through like it were glass. Now my hair looks dull, those eyes that are staring back at me, look like a broken mirror. Broken...
What am I going to do? Tell Ethan? What will he say?
I don't know what I will do, but I know I have to get my act together. I need to get it together or everything will be worse.
But just for today or even another minute, I will allow myself to feel sad. Sad that my whole life is changing. Sad that I will probably need to give up on college, give up on my dreams.
"No!" I scream at the reflection. I will not give up on my dreams and I will go to college.
Just not now, now I'll go in to my bed and cry my eyes out. Yes, that's what I'll do.
I walk in my bedroom, test in my hands and see my mom sitting on the edge of the bed with hands in her hair. She looks up and points to the test,
"I-" I chocked. She walks up to me, gritting the test out of my hands.
"Goddamnit Nina!" She curses.
I fall to my knees, "I'm so sorry, mommy." I sob, the sobs soon turn into full on cries.
"Oh my baby." I feel arms around me, pulling me closer to her. "You'll be okay, sweetie." I sob even louder.
"I don't know what to do, mom." I say looking up to her.
"You'll do what you need and want to do. What ever you want to do, I'll support you. Keep the baby, adoption, abortion. Whatever you do, I'm here."
Knowing mom will be here every single step of the way is making me feel at ease. It's a reassurance that in the end, everything will be okay.
"Thanks mom. But I just want to stay in my bed for awhile."
"What about a movie? Little bit of singing? What about a musical? After that you need to go to school missy, it's your last day."
I sigh, how much I know she's right. I know I need to go to school. I need to talk to Ethan.
Shaking my head, "I'll shower and go to school, I need to talk to Ethan." I tell her honestly.
I tell my mom everything, well almost everything.
"I do wish, I knew who he was baby. I know he's older than you, but that's all I know."
"I know mom, I'll tell you soon. Let's just wait and see how he'll handel this news."
God, what if he doesn't support me? What if he leaves me, just like my dad did with my mom.
"Okay, well I'll let you to it. I'll go to work and I'll see you tonight, don't forget to pick up your dress for graduation."
I get in the shower, letting the water pour over me as I put my hand on my belly.
"We'll be okay, little one. Whatever happens, you'll have me. Always."
After a fifteen minute shower I get out and get ready. Today I chose for a simple jeans and baby blue sweater. Some low white All-stars to complete the look and go out of the house. My hair is just loose, knowing the curls aren't mine to be tamed. Definitely not after a bike ride.
I'm not having breakfast today. I can barely keep anything down, this has been going on for a couple of weeks, hence the pregnancy test. Now knowing, it's the morning sickness along with the nerves it's not a good combination on a normal day, let alone a day like today.
I get my bike and ride to school. My school is only a 10 minute ride and since I'm already an hour late, I don't think I'm going to make it there any faster than being late.
Once at school I make my way to the reception desk,
"Nina?" Miss Pims asks.
"Hi, miss Pims. I'm late, mom said she would call." She gives me a nod.
"Yes, since your only half an hour late I suggest you still go to your first class of the day, English right?" She asks me.
"I thought I missed first period." I admit kind of hoping I missed English.
"No, dear. Come on, here is your slip and hurry."
"Thanks." I mumble
I speed-walk to my English classroom which is on the other side of the school building as I don't really want to make my teacher even more angry with me then needed.
Once there, I knock on the door.
"Enter." A dark voice, says.
I enter the classroom, not looking at my teacher.
"Aah, miss Clark. You are late, very late at that." My teacher pressures, like I didn't already knew that.
I roll my eyes at him. As if he actually cares, it's the last day.
"Nina!" He screams.
I look up, "Sorry, here's my late-slip. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to miss the last day. So, that's why I'm late."
He nods, "Well, if you don't feel good. You can go to the nurse office whenever it's needed."
I give him a small smile, "Thanks, Mr. Phillips."
"Nina, it's the last day. I'm no longer your teacher after today, exams are over, so call me Ethan."