I still don't understand why this happened to me. How could this happen to me? I did everything right. I was loyal and I loved him so much... now I hate him so much. I hate him for giving up on us. He destroyed everything. I hate him for never fighting for me. I hate him for never prioritizing me. I hate him for always making me his option. He destroyed me. Four years, I have invested, FOUR YEARS!!! Four damn fucking four years wasted on a lying dirty cheat!
I was there for him when his mother died from cancer. I was there for him when his bloody stupid ass was unemployed and broke. I paid for his stupid phone bills. I gave him money so that he could attend his brother's destination wedding in the Dominican Republic. And I never asked for any money back in return. All I wanted was his love and appreciation. I never got it. I never felt it. Through it all, I was nothing more than just a woman he used to finance his broke ass. I was there for him when he had nobody to turn to. All this time I did not complain. I tolerated everything! I tolerated all his angst and anger when his mother died and when he was unemployed. I tolerated all his mood swings. Hell we couldn't even celebrate my birthday because it was close to his mother's death anniversary.
I've never loved a man so much that I was willing to set my pride aside. I let my guard down. I aligned my plans and goals for him so that we could have a common purpose. But I was never enough. He never saw me. He never loved me. He never cared about me. He only saw himself.
He destroyed me. Caring about him so much was emotional suicide. I did everything right by him. What did I ever do to deserve this? Do I have a sign on my freaking forehead that says, "Cheat on me"? WHY?