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S/M

By Jack Knorps All Rights Reserved ©

Drama / Romance

(Part 1) Geometry

PART 1

UNDER CLASS

1.

I was fifteen the first time I cut myself. I don’t know why I did it. I think it had something to do with not feeling justified in my pain. I think it had something to do with nobody else ever caring how I felt. I think it had something to do with the lack of real danger in my life. So I cut, I felt a threat, and I felt a balance. I was in search of equilibrium. I was in search of a connection between my mind and my body.

Nobody else knew I cut myself (except for one). I never cut too deeply, or had any serious medical emergency. Nobody ever saw my scars either—or at least they never mentioned them. My favorite places to cut myself were my arms and my chest. Sometimes I would try to carve in miniature tattoos there, but the cuts were never deep enough to make an impression. This was when I was fifteen, and first discovered self-mutilation.

The first time I ever cut myself, I had failed a geometry test. When I got home, I told my parents I failed it, and they asked me how I could be so dumb to fail at geometry. I told them I thought it was hard. They said geometry was only about shapes, so it was easy. I said it was more complicated than that. They said they weren’t aware that geometry had changed its rules in the last thirty years. I told them it was hard for me anyways. They told me I better not fail my next test in the class.

I went up to my room and took out a razor that I had been given prematurely as a stocking stuffer. I had no need to shave at that point, but I had the razor. I pulled the right sleeve of my shirt up, and I made three equal incisions, pushing hard, watching the untouched skin become broken as it gave way to bloody trails. I was trying to cut out a triangle. That is, I didn’t want to cut out a piece of flesh in the shape of a triangle, but I wanted the cuts to make the outline of a triangle. Blood slowly seeped down over the area, and any thought that there would be a clean triangle left in the spot was forgotten. What I left was a messy splotch. It was sloppily done. But I saw the blood, and looked at my arm in a mirror, and I was glad I had done it. I was proud of myself. It was the first time I had changed the appearance of my body through my own immediate will. I stayed in my room for another hour or two until the bleeding had been fully clotted, and I went downstairs for dinner with my parents. They asked me what I was so happy about, since I had been so embarrassed and sullen earlier in the day and I just said that I was happy that tomorrow was another day to start afresh.

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SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...

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Marijana1: The melancholy present throughout this story has the power to influence and etch into the minds of the readers, to stay there and refuse to leave even after they have finished reading the story. This is a deep, powerful story, making the readers wonder about everything – about love, about their e...

abdiabdullahi: i liked it a lot you have so much room for improvement i am not saying i have great knowledge of writing i know if you put in more effort you could reach new levels and i kinda felt like you were rushing things and we did not get to see the better part of oriens growing up

Mercurial._.Unicorn: The old style of writing is beyond good for today's modern writing styles.I loved the plot and the characters and I loved the way the character development was done. It was gradual and good. Not too good to believe nor too little to leave the book half read.The grammar according to my reading exp...

Bad: The Setting was applicable to the characters, the readers can relate to the story.The author use the POV which the readers can feel, and the author keeps hook in every chapter and it will make you to rethink about everything.It was a hooking story, since from the beginning to the end, it has many...

Helloitsemily: I am a girl that gets bored easy so does lots of things at once but this was incredible it made me read all of it and not get bored

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Ilanea Zavala: I loved it and well I really hope you continue writing more to the story.

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