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“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ― Mark Twain

“Oh God...” a soft sob escaped and broke the ear-deafening silence in the room.

“Why isn’t she coming around?” a male voice asked desperately, his voice broken and small.

What... what’s going on?

“The operation on her left leg was a success but her brain injury may take a while to heal. Could have been the excessive bleeding previously and/or the lack of oxygen to the brain.”

“So... what does this means? She’s in a vegetative state? Is this permanent? Will she ever wake up?”

I recognise that voice.

And for that instant, I wanted to call out to her so badly. To reach out to her and comfort her that everything’s going to be alright, so please don’t cry.

But I can’t.

I can’t stop panicking in that vessel of mine and I can’t calm myself down. What leg, what are they saying? What operation? Why can’t I feel my body, why can’t I move?

I have never felt so trapped in my own body.

The sobbing and stillness did not help much either. I was panicking so hard from my body’s lack of respond. The sound of my parents weeping started fading, and suddenly I was all alone at the top of a skyscraper, balancing on a thin semi-translucent thread.

My heart nearly stopped as I realised that I was balancing on something so fragile and may snap any moment.

It was absolutely horrific.

I couldn’t differentiate whether if I was in a vivid dream or a terrifying reality. I was like an elephant on a tight rope. At the moment in that situation, all I could focus on was to not fall. Because it was clear that if I slip, it is the end.

I don’t want it to end.

I was only 23 years old. I don’t want to die just yet. I have so many things I have not tried, much less done. I can’t just... fall like that and let my life slip past my grasp.

As if to deter my newly found courage and resolution, a strong gust of wind swept me off my feet and pushed me off the strand of thread. I didn't even have the time to scream.

A gasp escaped me as I could do nothing but let myself fall from the skyscraper. Gravity pulled hard. My whole being felt as if they were being swallowed by air.

My adrenaline kicked in and I was struggling so hard in mid air. The ground seemed so far away and the fall seemed never ending. I caught sight of the sky. Funny how I see the deep blue sky only now when it was just before my eyes.

I stopped struggling and instead, let my arms out shakily. I started panting a little as I relaxed my body and arms slightly. I let my arms even further out, this time more confidently as my posture now resembles a bird.

The sky was my only salvation; the clouds my comfort. I reached one of my hand out towards the beautiful sky, a small smile slipping onto my face as I felt tears streaming down my numb cheeks.

I used to like gazing up at the sky.

When I was little, I would spend hours and hours staring at that boundless haven. I would wonder if there was really a castle hiding behind those white fluffy clouds. I would wonder how those marshmallow looking clouds taste like.

How could I have forgotten all about these beautiful moments?

I clenched my fist, the one that was reaching for the unattainable, as more tears pooled my eyes. My vision blurred for the longest while.

But then I understood.

My vision of the world was long blurred and tainted.

Looking back on my life, I remembered; what happened to me. I matured and I grew up. I remembered how I little by little forgot about that one dream I had when I was younger – to learn astronomy.

How... how could I have forgotten all of this?

How on earth did I forget all about this dream that made my eyes once sparkly and full of life?

Even when I was clenching my hand so tightly, even when my nails are digging so relentless into the flesh of my palm; I couldn't feel any pain at all.

And that pains me the most.

At that moment, as I fell, I gazed at the silver-string so high above my reach.

I realised, life is so fleeting.

A sickening loud snap broke my train of thoughts.


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