hi, it’s nice to meet you.
you may have heard of me before. i travel around to find my way into peoples minds, soaking up their enjoyment and happiness for my own amusement.
i weaken their weakness. i sadden their sadness. i consume their minds until i become unbearable to live with.
if i happen to pay a visit to your mind, you ought to do what i tell you, because i am deadly.
the twisted truth is that society will tell you to simply ‘get over yourself’. ha. what a joke! my love, you will not be able to get over me. i will eat up every speck of happiness that i can find in every single corner of your innocent mind. i will intoxicate your brain; make your misery seem deeper than the deepest canyons and make you see things you thought weren’t imaginable.
i will suffocate you until your lungs feel flooded at 3:12 in the morning, until you can no longer take it. the only thing that will give you relief is the feeling of a fresh, sharp metal razor opening up your skin. when the first tear slowly leaks down your cheek, you try your hardest to choke back the tears. it is in this moment, where it hits you like a bullet to the chest; i have taken over your whole existence.
the next day at school, people stare, people laugh, people despise. you claim the red marks on your wrists are from when the cat was playing with you. little do they know, i am the cat. you feel ashamed of yourself in a way you never thought was possible.
that night, i suffocate you again, except this time your lungs feel like they’re on fire. you cut deeper in hope it will rid you of the excruciating pain i cause. the first tear rolls down your cheek, but tonight you are unable to hold back the tears. they continue to roll down your cheeks, forming a puddle on the stone-cold ground. you scream, but no sound escapes. it is in this moment, where it hits you again, harder this time, like a rust-covered knife being stabbed into your chest; i have taken over your whole existence and you cannot escape me.
the next day, your clothes cover up the scars from the previous night, despite the 42 degree heat. you would rather die from the heat than expose the pain i am causing. a teacher notices your attire and takes you to their office. they give support, but i will not let you believe a single word of it. positivity kills me.
you may be thinking that i am a nightmare, but i will be your best friend. i will still be with you at 3:12am. has any other friend done that for you?
i am called many names. the black dog. the flat battery. the boat on the river. the cloud. the dark tunnel. the ever changing weather.
but that’s not who i am.
my name is depression and i will be your next best friend.