Muddled Emotions

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Chapter 12

The next morning Raven wakes with a yawn, she sits up adjusting to her surroundings, and turns and Ray was gone, she shrugs it off and rolls out of bed and heads in to her bathroom, she climbs in to her shower and lets the water fall over her, to her surprise a few minutes later, she feels Ray climb in behind her, he kisses her shoulders “Morning baby..”

She smiles up at him turning round to face him, she leans up gently kissing him, he wraps his arms around her and holds her close, they let the water beat down over them, after a little while he climbs out and heads back to his room, and Raven gets ready and heads down stairs to the kitchen some time later, her dad sat at the table with Theo, Ray was stood on the other side, making toast, she goes to walk to him to kiss him good morning, Ray notices quickly looks away grabs his toast and walks off with his head down as he sits at the table he see’s the hurt in her eyes at his sudden rejection. Raven is crushed he just brushed her off like that, Aaron looks up from his paper “good morning sweetheart, how you feeling?”

She brushes it off quickly so no one notices and looks over at her dad “better thanks dad!” She sits down to eat, and her phone buzzes a text from Braxton asking to meet today and she is tapping away a reply, another comes through from Ray, his watching her to see her reaction to it, she opens the text “I’m sorry baby, just I think we should keep this between us right now.... I Love you xx” she freeze’s and she looks up a little, and Ray can see her eyes watering, she quickly wipes her eyes and puts the phone down, and pushes past it, ignoring him, now she knows how he truly felt and where she stood.

Aaron puts his paper down “Any plans today darling?”

Raven looks up pasting on her smile “actually yes...I’m going to meet Braxton...”

Aaron nods “Ok, can you please take one of the boys with you?”

Ray lights up and quickly jumps in offering his services “I can!”

Raven shakes her head in protest “it's ok thanks Ray, Philip can come if that’s ok dad?”

Aaron smiles and nods “of course darling, that's ok right Phil?” he looks over at Philip who's just walked in to the room

Phil looks over and nods “Yes Sir..”

Ray looks crushed but she ignored it. After eating she kisses her dad on the cheek “I’m making dinner tonight ok dad, for everyone...” Aaron cuddles his daughter, kisses her and nods and then heads off to his office.

Raven heads to her room to finish getting ready, as she is nearly finished, Ray comes in to the room shutting the door “Babe...” he looks down

Raven gets up and starts putting her coat on “what do you want Ray, I have places to be...”

He looks up, looking at her “why don’t you want me with you....”

Raven bitterly laughs with tears in her eyes “like you didn't want me in the kitchen, you’re so fucking ashamed to be near me or seen with me all of a sudden, god forbid I embarrass you in public!” she goes to walk out but he takes her hand, she pulls away and doesn't even look back at him “Don’t...you have made it perfectly clear Ray...where we stand and where you do... I get the message...loud and clear” she walks past and out.

Soon enough she waits for Braxton in the park ready for the walk and talk with Phil close enough but not too close, she sits waiting patiently with nothing but fresh air and her own thoughts as she looks up a sad looking Braxton walks her way, she stands to greet him “Raven...”

She gives him a smile and hugs him “hey Braxton...” he holds her there tightly savouring the moment

Eventually he pulls back and looks down at her “you’re not...mad?” she links her arm through his as they begin to walk

Raven takes a deep breath “Don’t get me wrong... I was, but then I realised, I was mad at her...”

Braxton looks over at her “mum?”

Raven nods “God the last few years have been horrific to say the least, but to find out my mum hid a brother and a father from me, that hurt, my dad might be mixed up and involved in heavy stuff but his still my dad... he lost out on years of a child, and I lost out on years of my life without either of you two, I finally have...family...and although it took a lot of pain and emotion to get there...I'm grateful, and if you want to, like my dad, I want to build a relationship with you...”

Braxton turns to her, tears streaming and pulls her in to a massive cuddle “I want nothing more!” they both cry a bit more and spend the rest of the day making a start on building their sibling bond.

Once Raven gets home and begins dinner, things finally good again minus the ordeal with Ray, after a while dinner is served, everyone eats in a comfortable silence occasionally talking about different things, once she finishes she heads up to her room, putting on her music, she goes in to her bathroom and runs a bath, after her bath she dry's off and lays down on the bed thinking about the day, her door goes “Come in”

Her dad gently opens the door “you ok sweetheart?”

Raven smiles up at her dad “yeah...” he looks at her unsure and sits next to her

he wraps an arm around her, she cuddles in to him “what’s wrong sweet?”

She looks up at Aaron “can I ask you’re advice...”

He looks down smiling “of course darling, always”

She thinks carefully before wording what she has to say “If I wanted to get back with Ray, would you disapprove..”

“why? are you...?”

she hears surprise in his voice “No...”

“I can’t say I’d be happy because has a girlfriend...”

There it was, why he became so distant and hesitant, She feel’s her heart shatter, she hides her shock as well as possible, after they talk for a bit longer, her dad heads off to bed, she gets up, her head swimming, she certainly can't sleep now, sliding on her dressing gown and heads down to the garden, it's her new place to smoke, she hardly did smoke unless she was under a lot stress, she heads to her spot she's interrupted by Ray “Birdie..”

“I have nothing to say...”

“Please!”

“No maybe you should think about you’re GIRLFRIEND!”

He looks over in shock “what...”

“my dad told me....now I can see why you were so fucking ashamed, good luck to you”

she barges past him, he spins her round and pins her against the wall with his body “Listen to me! I love you! it’s always been you, my situation is less then perfect I’d admit...you can’t deny how good we are...I want you!” he leans in crashing his lips to her, with all she had she pulls away and slaps him, and runs back in locking herself in her room.

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