Muddled Emotions

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Chapter 7

The next morning, Raven wakes up and sits up looking around, weirdly she still remembers most of last night...apart from getting in and falling to sleep, she gets up and heads down stairs, Aaron is sat at the table with Ray and Theo at his side along with the other two Michael and Phil, they are looking at her with concern and worry, she rolls her eyes, Aaron stands and looks at her arm, she shoves it out of view after noticing it, he looks guilty then the panic hits him again “WHAT THE HELL WAS YOU THINKING!”

Raven takes a deep breath, both boys knew her enough to know she was about to let go at him “OK FIRST AND FOREMOST DAD! STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE A CHILD!”

“I WOULDN’T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU LIKE ONE, IF YOU DIDN'T ACT LIKE ONE!”

She laughs sarcastically as the tears prick through “clearly you didn’t know or don’t care, or maybe you knew but didn’t care, or didn’t care to know... so ask me dad!” Aaron looks at her confused “ASK ME HOW MUM DIED!”

Aaron swallows a lump “Ho..”

Before he finishes his sentence “A GUN! A GUN KILLED HER, SOMEONE MURDERED MY MUM IN FRONT OF ME...SHE DIED BLEEDING OUT IN MY FUCKING ARMS YOU SON OF A BITCH! THAT’S WHY I WON’T TOUCH A GUN! BUT DID HER KILLER GET CAUGHT NO! YOU HAVE SO MUCH ON ME IM SURPRISED THAT WASN’T IN THERE! I HELD MY MUM IN MY ARMS AND WATCHED HER TAKE HER LAST BREATH, AND HAVE HER LAST WORDS IN MY HEAD ON REPLAY ALL THE TIME” She faces Theo “AND THAT’S WHY I DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MUM AND YOU PAST YOU ALL HAPPY NOW!” she is inconsolable and crying hysterically, Aaron reaches for her she snatch's her arms away “this was clearly a bad idea...I should never of agreed to be part of this” she runs off collecting her stuff and heads out home. Once she is home she bolts up the door, and turns off her phone, and lays down on the sofa and cry’s tell she cant cry no more.


A MONTH PASSES

Raven locked herself away, she didn't go to work, and she never let anyone in, today she dragged herself up and gets ready and heads out to the cemetery, she sits down at her mums grave “Oh mum...god what I would give to have you here, I love you and miss you everyday” she rests her head on her headstone.

Some time later she heads back home, and heads in to her local coffee shop as she buys a coffee she turns to leave and walks in to Braxton “oh hey”

He looks at her a little shocked, she had lost a lot of weight, she look extremely malnourished and generally unwell, and looked like she hadn't been sleeping “Raven...”

“I probably look worse than I feel....” she try’s to hold back the tears

Braxton buys a coffee and takes a seat with her “talk to me...”

Raven thinks for a moment “I wouldn’t even know where to start...”

Braxton feels so worried for her “it’s ok in you’re time” Raven eventually opens up about what she can, in fact about everything apart from her dad being in the work he does. He looks at her with a sympathetic look “I am so sorry about you’re mum...I can’t imagine what that must of been like...”

Raven just shrugs “anyway, I also have to apologise for my behaviour that night in the bar...that's not me”

He chuckles as he recalls that night “on the contrary it was very entertaining... although I do have to say the guys the came to collect you...looked intense...”

Raven rolls her eyes “to say the least... that is defiantly the understatement of the year”

He smiles over at her knowing its a clearly a sensitive situation and changes the subject “Anyway maybe we can have a proper drink some time!”

She smiles over at him “sure, I’d say we should swap numbers but you did that already” she smirks and he goes red and looks down “it’s ok, I'm just surprised that my drunk side didn't put you off talking to me! because I certainly wouldn't talk to her again” he laughs along with her and soon she heads home feeling better.

Once she is home, her door goes, she heads to it swinging it open Aaron is stood there he takes one look at her and holds back a gasp “Jesus Raven”

Raven steps back “what do you want, I really have no energy to argue or fight with you....”

Aaron looks her over “I did this...” from behind him the 4 men usually following him around including Theo and Ray arrive, they all look at her then back at each other in shock

Raven starts to get a little pissed “IM NOT SOME FREAK SHOW, IF YOU’VE COME TO STARE, YOU GOT THE WRONG PERSON! AND YOU NEED TO TAKE A HIKE”

Ray steps forwards hugging her, she pushes him off “get off me, I don’t need you’re pity, guilt, money, love, explanations, lies or whatever, just nothing, whatever you are selling, I ain't buying, I don't need anything from any of you...” she turns heading back in and gently sits on the sofa, pulling in to herself they all come in and sit around her she looks up at Aaron “come to think of it, can you never see me on you’re own DAD, or do you always have to have you’re minions with you....all I ever wanted was a normal father daughter relationship with you, right now I feel like it me you and every one else” she stands and heads off to shower.

When she comes out, Aaron is sat on his own, Raven rolls her eyes “ you didn’t have to get rid of them on my account” she sits down, and lays her head on her knee’s.

He stands and sits next to her pulling her in to his arms “I’m sorry Raven, I really am, for everything, I should of never walked away from you and you’re mum, I should of tried harder to be a better dad for you... but, I am trying, I just want to make things right, I know I probably can’t and I can never bring you’re mum back, I love you sweetheart, with all my heart, I only have you in mind always...I” he starts to get upset

Raven turns to him throwing her arms around him “I love you too dad!” he pulls her in to a hug, being gentle as if she may break, he kisses her head she pulls back “Dad I’m sorry too, I’ve been acting like a brat, its unfair on you, I know mum was just trying to protect me, and I know you always have my best interests at heart, I promise I will keep trying... and if it makes you feel better...I will practice with gun stuff....”

Aaron shakes his head “No sweetheart, I’m not going to ask that of you, just please be cautious ok...and I promise, we will get to the bottom of you’re mothers death ok, we will find out who did it, together?” he holds out his hand

She takes it “Together” he pulls her in to a cuddle and eventually she falls to sleep.

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