Club Dead

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Play Talk

“Stone is a zombie,” Emig said.

“No, she’s faking it. Though she acts like a zombie,” Tallie said.

“She runs the school that she knows is full of zombies,” Fretwell said.

“You getting all of this Frank?” Tallie asked.

“…full of zombies…” Frank types.

“She has what she totally wants: a school of zombies.”

“But the zombies can’t take it anymore.”

“They can’t abide by the school culture.”

“So they…”


“What do they do? How can they escape?”

That stalled the effort.

“Hold it. The zombies took over the school, but zombie Stone still holds some type of power that makes the school suck for the zombies. What was it?”

“She served brain at lunch?”

“Even I like the lunch. That still doesn’t placate me,” Fretwell said.

“You like the lunch?” Tallie asks.

“The fish and chips are cool. They put chopped pickles in the tartar sauce,” Fretwell defended himself.

“Come on! This is not making sense! Why don’t the zombies bunk school? They don’t have to stay. They’re zombies!” Tallie grew frustrated.

“Why don’t we switch it,” Frank offered. “Have the zombies love school.”


“Well, look, you have to be a zombie to love this school, right?”

Everyone one nodded.

“And when you look at a lot of these students, they seem pretty okay with this place, right?”

More nods.

“So make the zombies like the school?”

“But where’s the tension? The story stops. Kaput, it’s done!” Tallie said, aggrieved.

“So there must be a struggle between the zombies and zombie Stone.”

“You know, we can’t call the head zombie Stone. Not if we want to get this thing on stage,” Emig said.

“Let’s call it head zombie, for now.”

“Names aren’t important! What happens, what’s the struggle?”

“The zombies want more of a zombie atmosphere. Head zombie doesn’t know what that is because she isn’t a real zombie.”

“And they approach head zombie to negotiate…”


“What do zombies want?”

“Human brains.”

“That’s not enough!”

“Okay, how’s this: the school is not dead enough. They want to up the ante, really make this a place where zombie can thrive!”

“What makes Blissfield zombies grow strong?”

“SAT tutoring?”

“Community service?”

“Sucking up to teachers to insure a good letter of recommendation for college?”

“But doesn’t Zombie Charter School already offer that?”

“Find the metaphor! Think! Look zombies at Blissfield will do anything adults say. They are so afraid that if they don’t do everything, their future will be blocked. ”

“Saturday school.”

“Not bad.”

“Thirty second passing between classes.”

“Now we’re rolling.”

“A class that focuses on only grammar.”

“Or two math classes in one day?”

“And no lunch.”

“Written PE exams.”

“The day starts at six and ends at five.”

“And there is no such thing as weekends. Only school.”

“Oh, this is horrible,”

“That’s Zombie Charter School.”
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