Hopefully Beautiful - "I more than survived... I thrived."

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Chapter 23


I was back home. I wanted to die, but I could not bring myself, to kill myself. I began going to my drug rehabilitation program. At first I did not want to go, I was going through terrible withdrawals, but it got a little better after I started going to the meetings. Just as I was finding my way Momma pulled me out. She said it was too much going on at the meetings; and that I was weak for needing the classes in the first place, “Use your will power” she said.

She was right about a lot going on at the meetings though, folks were sneaking and having relationships, sneaking and getting high together, and I had even been offered to get high if I wanted, a couple of times.

But I had already made up my mind not to use; the jail house was one place I did not want to go back too! And Momma scared me to death saying I would end up on the streets selling my body to get high. It made me think of the lady in the abandoned house naked on her knees years ago.

And I didn’t dare go ask Mr. Leonard and Miss Lucinda for drugs and I did not know anyone else. Besides, after Momma and Corn picked me up from the station, they wanted to know who I got the drugs and credit card from; I told them I got it from Mr. Leonard and Miss Lucinda. Momma’s nose flared and her lips pulled back from her teeth. “That bitcherist bitch” Momma growled!

Momma sat in the front seat with her arms folded across her large breasts and stared out the window. As soon as we got home Momma went straight to her room to change out of her ‘good impressions’ clothes that she wore to the police station to pick me up, and put on one of her old loungers. My heart raced, I knew what all that meant!

Corn was looking nervous as usual, “Pat you gonna make things worse, and the last thing we need is for Joye to be involved with the police this soon; she just got out of jail” Corn told Momma.

“That bitch got Joye doing drugs and stealing” Momma spat! “I knew that bitch was no good, I told Presley that years ago” “I’m gonna whoop her ass first, and his ass second” Momma barked! “Daddy Presley did not know anything about it” I nervously told Momma.

She stopped getting ready, placed her hand on her hip and looked at me; I turned around and left the room. Momma finished getting ready while Corn and I went back outside; I sat on the porch and waited.

“Come on” Momma said, as she stomped down the porch steps. We loaded into the car and rode to Miss Lucinda’s house.

My heart is pounding as we turn the corner onto York Street and ride past grandma’s house. “Come on Joye” Momma said as she hopped out the car and stomped up Miss Lucinda’s front porch steps and knocked on the door.

I thought she would have banged on the door, but she didn’t. I saw Miss Lucinda peek out of her curtains and quickly close them back. “No this bitch didn’t just act like she didn’t see me” Momma said, as she looked back at me. She walked to the end the porch, hopped down and took off running around to the back of her house!

“Oh shit” I heard Miss Lucinda say when she looked out the window again and noticed Momma not on the front porch. But it was too late; Momma had already gotten into her house through the back door that she left unlocked most of the time. As I got to the back door of the house, I could hear Momma’s fist hitting Miss Lucinda.

I stood watching with my hand over my mouth, expecting Mr. Leonard to come running from the back room; I saw him peak out their bedroom door, but he closed it and never came out.

Momma punched Miss Lucinda’s face until she stopped screaming. “Come on Momma, we gotta go” I yelled! “She’s dead” I cried! Momma let go of her, letting her head hit the floor.

Momma had blood on her hand, as she walked out the back door and over to daddy Presley’s back door. She knocked and waited; when daddy Presley opened the door, she punched him in the face and he fell back onto the floor.

“That’s for not knowing what’s going on next door” Momma yelled, turned around and stomped back to the car where Corn had never left.

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