Chapter 29: New Neighbors (Part 1)
I needed something to do. I was beyond frustrated to the point where my car looked brand new and I was pissed that she’d rejected me so harshly. My ego was definitely bruised. How could I have been so foolish? I thought that she would come back here and want to pick up where we had left off as much as I did, but no. She was completely focused on keeping me as far away from her as possible. She was completely focused on letting the past ruin what we could be. I thought she would have been as tired of the past controlling us as I was.
It’s been an entire year of absolutely nothing from her and me trying desperately not to go making a fool of myself by just showing up, and I still get treated like a side dish. For her to throw the Clarissa thing back in my face like that… it just wasn’t fair. I get that what I did was wrong in her eyes, but she said she understood. I hadn’t know the extremities of her issues with Clarissa, but I paid her mom back every cent. How was I supposed to have known that she was just going to take off with it. I was only trying to do the right thing. I only wanted to show her that it was never about the money, it was always her. I always wanted to know her.
I had a decision to make now.
Do I continue to be persistent in my pursuit for her heart or do I just give up and find someone or something else to focus on? It’s not like I’m lacking in the girl department. She wasn’t around and neither was I. I’d be a fool to think that I was the only one to taste her and she’d be foolish to think that I’d just continue to wait. She really was just as insatiable as I was in the bedroom and together we could go all night. Together we created something I hadn’t been able to experience or find elsewhere. Or maybe I should just change my approach?
She says she just wants her friend back. I could do that. Being me made her fall in love once, why wouldn’t it happen again? Or maybe she was just over me and that was a fact that I had to accept. Either way, maybe it was good that I learned to be her friend again. What harmed could come from fixing our now rocky friendship? I missed her more than I knew was possible; more than I knew I was still capable of. I missed her in a way that differed from how much I missed Natalie, but it still hurt the same.
I never wanted to lose either of them, but clearly we can’t always get what we want. I needed to get my frustration out. I needed a different kind of distraction. Kissing her made me feel like I had fire in my veins, but she made it clear that wasn’t a feeling that I was going to feel again any time soon.
“AHHHHH!” I screamed, kicking my tire. I needed to get the aggression out and working out wasn’t helping anymore. Pulling out my phone, I texted someone that I knew could help me relax a bit. Someone that I’d realized only after it became clear that she wasn’t coming back. Her being away truly showed me how much I ignored other girls.
Dave: Hey baby, what are you doing?
Analisa: Just getting out the shower.
Dave: Feel like seeing me tonight?
Analisa: I thought you had some big family thing going on that you couldn’t get out of.
Why did any of that matter? She’d been complaining about how I didn’t make time for her unless it was for sex and I was trying to make time now. I never understood her. I made it clear what this was but she kept pressing for more. It didn’t help that she would constantly ask about Maria. I knew what she was doing, but her purpose to make me forget about Minnie for a bit, not back her prominent in my mind than she already was.
Dave: It got canceled. I’m all yours baby.
Analisa: I don’t know if I believe you David, everyone knows that Maria is back. Someone saw her at the gas station while they were working. Her being back after the way she left is big news for those who know what happened.
She was starting to piss me off. What did any of that matter? Did she just want gossip? She was looking in the wrong place if so. I refuse to let anyone in my business ever again. Only Maria had that privilege.
Dave: Then you should know that she and I are just friends. Our families planned a welcome back thing for her, but other things came up and it was postponed. What does it matter though? I’m free now and I’m trying to spend the time with you.
Analisa: Are you sure the two of you are just friends Dave? Don’t forget I went to school with the both of you. I saw and noticed more than you think.
Dave: Bye Lisa, I don’t have time for the insecure. If you were wondering why this never became more than just sex, this right here is exactly why.
I rolled my eyes fishing through my contacts for another certifiable good time. Maybe one that I didn’t go to school with who knew the intricate complications that were Maria and I. Or maybe someone who did, but still wouldn’t questions my intentions. How did she even know what we felt when we didn’t have a clue until it was too late? I had no fucking idea, but she did. Smiling as another number came into sight, I was interrupted by a big ass moving truck parking in front of me. Since when were we getting new neighbors?
I groaned tossing and turning in my bed as my frustration got the best of me. The past few nights had been rough for me and although I didn’t want him like that, having him around kept those dark secrets at bay for a little while longer. Sometimes parts of him reminded me of Dave, the boy next door that I missed more than anything.
I knew it was a temporary fix to what I really craved, but it was better than the horrible silence of the nothing I already had. Tears brimmed the corners of my eyes as the memories I wanted erase plagued me like a bad cold. The more I remembered the clearer the face behind the voice became. All it did was add to the list of things I didn’t want to believe and make me wish I could turn back time even more. I just wanted to go back and stop it all from happening.
There was a burn in my throat making me wish I was dead. Making me want to call the one person I knew would drop everything and be here in no time at all. I wanted to call my dad, but he didn’t deserve me bothering him after being away for so long. It wasn’t fair to make him worry when I didn’t even bother to call just to say hello. I only had one option left. I’d be surprised if he came, but I wouldn’t blame him if he was tired of me already. I’d be tired of my games also, he didn’t need to know the reasons behind them. He didn’t need to know that they weren’t games, they were basic survival tactics I’d been forced to learn.
In fact I’d learned that lesson more than once. I would never let my guard down like that again. Picking up my phone I sent the text.
Maria: I’m not trying to be a bitch, but I won’t beg you for anything. If you want to get your dick wet and have some of the best pussy you’ll ever have, I’ll be waiting. Don’t show and I’m on to the next one.
Nix: I’m on my way.
I smiled. It’ll always be easier to avoid and thankfully I had someone to help me for the moment. Even if he’d never be better than what I really craved.
After my reunion with Dave, a shower was definitely something I needed. My entire body felt hot and sticky and I needed to get rid of it as soon as possible. It didn’t help that I ended up taking a whole lot longer than necessary because I just couldn’t get him and his dirty promises off of my mind. He was right though; I hadn’t found someone who’d take the time to learn me and what I like. Not like I’d ever give them the chance too. No one was allowed to get too close to me anymore, and although I found one guy who seemed possible, I was too afraid that he’d hurt me also. I didn’t want to relive anything.
When I left here I vowed never to again be the sad sack little bitch just letting everyone walk all over her. The one too afraid to go after what she really wanted. I sighed, how was it that life only kept getting harder. Did it ever take a break? In my case, it didn’t. All I did was get one betrayal after another. Instead of my mother manning up and apologizing, all she did was up and leave. As if saying ‘sorry honey, I was wrong. I want to fix our relationship’ was too hard of a sentence for her to spit out of her mouth.
Then again, maybe we were better off without her. Life was just a little bit easier, no one stood around just waiting to criticize everything about me. Dad, although he was sad and frustrated, seemed to have more money around allowing him to do and get a lot of the things that she wouldn’t let him. He wouldn’t though, because now all he wanted was his wife back and for his daughter to no longer hurt. He wanted the family he thought he had instead of seeing the truth in how we were. I was experienced enough now to understand that my father and I stayed close because he wasn’t around that often. Shaking away the thoughts, or at least trying to, I put on a pair of all black workout shorts that showed more ass than it should and a red tank top with ‘sexy’ written in black across the chest. Paired with my all black thigh high socks with red stripes to match and some black gym shoes. Finally, putting my hair up in a ponytail. Maybe going for a jog would help me put my guard back up again. Coming into Dave so soon and the unexpected kiss definitely had me shook. Definitely had me wanting more than my heart was willing to give to him.
Just as I was getting ready to leave out my room, I heard my window open. I groaned before turning to face the intruder.
“Mickey, you can’t be doing this.” I sighed.
“I don’t care.” he grunted as he lifted himself inside. “We need to talk and I’m tired of you just walking away from me. I’ve waited a year for that to happen and I’m tired of waiting.”
“I don’t have time for this.” I spat turning around and rolling my eyes. Who in the hell did he think he was?
“Damn it Minnie.” he growled before grabbing me by my arm and spinning me back around. I gasped as I ended up pressed up against his chest. “I said we need to talk and I do not feel like playing games with you. Not anymore.” he spat as I just nodded my head in agreeance. I took the moment to sit here and study him. He looked frantic at best. He kept glancing at me and then looking away. As if realizing just how close we were, he uprighted me before stepping away. I was actually a little hurt. Why was he being so hot and cold all of a sudden?
“WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” I yelled my fist flying at him with a vengeance. I walked in on him with my journal in his hands. The journal where I had admitted everything. From the day that my life change up until the day where I broke the boy I loved heart; and the asshole had been reading it. I felt exposed and seen and I snapped. I lashed out at him.
“Stop!” he cried as my fist connected with his mouth and split his lip down the middle. He was curled up trying to protect his face. A part of me felt like I was taking advantage of him knowing he would never raise his hand to hit me back, but a bigger part was too pissed to care. I laughed.
“Bitch move there Nix.” I spat standing up and kicking his in the stomach. I didn’t even care anymore. It felt good to be the hurting someone for once.
“Mickey, what’s going on? Why are you freaking out?” I asked, starting to worry. Him being like this was how we ended up having sex in the first place.
“Minnie I am so sorry. I really am.”
“What in the hell are you apologizing for?”
“I didn’t tell you everything about me. In fact I kept the worse thing to myself.” What the fuck? How much more shit could there be?
“Worse than accepting money to be my friend?” I asked cringing at the amount of pettiness coming off of my words. I hadn’t meant to come off so bitter.
“Worse than paying all that money back and your mother using it to skip town just to get away from you.” he snapped back. I deserved that. It still pissed me off, but I deserved it.
“What’s going on?” I sighed, sitting down on my bed before inviting him to join me.
“Like I said,I haven’t told you everything about myself Minnie. About who I was after Natalie’s death… and I’d rather you hear everything from me.” he groaned. I could see he was tortured by this memory, but I wouldn’t pass judgement until I knew the entire story. I’d already learned that lesson once before.
“Then tell me Mickey. I’m here and I’m listening.” I all but whispered.
For a moment we just sat in silence. I studied him as he stared at the wall. Before I could even blink my eyes, his lips were on mine.