Sadie - Saturday
Stuie, who had his finger on the very pulse of London’s life blood, saw the footage within hours of it being uploaded, he also saw that within those few hours there had been thousands of comments posted and that Sadie was being elevated into an unlikely hero. He also noticed the incredibly handsome man with the rabbit, who he wouldn’t mind five minutes with. It was 2 o’clock in the morning when Stuie and Doug arrived on Sadie’s doorstep.
Sadie’s flat was on the ground floor of a large Victorian house in Leytonstone, which also housed another three flats. Under usual circumstances, Stuie was a strictly Soho man who only travelled south to Pimlico and north to Hampstead, he would certainly never travel eastbound, unless there was something fabulous happening in Brick Lane or Spitalfields of course.
“I’m here to help,” he’d said to Doug in the cab on the way over, “she’s going to find that if she works this situation in her favour she can make some serious money out of it, and if she’s going to be famous, all be it for five minutes, she’ll need an expert, such as yours truly to guide her. Now, Doug, is her flat so disgusting that we need to stop off for a tetanus?”
Doug had to think, in all the time he’d known Sadie he had never been to her house. She’d been to his plenty of times, even stayed over, but he’d never once been to hers. He felt terrible, poor Sadie, no wonder she was so lonely. He resolved to be an even better best friend to her, no matter what.
“Her flat is just lovely,” he said loyally.
“What do you want?” said her blurry voice over the entry system.
“It’s me, let me in, its important,” said Doug.
“Who’s with you?”
“It’s only me Say-dee, it’s me Stuie.”
The door buzzed open, but they were still able to hear Sadie “and he’s all I need at 2 bleeding am.”
Sadie stood in her front door wearing fluffy pink pyjamas, waiting for her visitors to reach the end of the hallway, her toenails were immaculately painted in a dark cherry colour, her feet looked cold. Stuie looked around Sadie’s front room, quite unprepared for the sight before him. He’d been expecting to peel big greying bloomers off a flattened sofa and usher hundreds of cats off a chair so he could sit if it was really necessary, instead he found himself in a room from a magazine, and not a shitty magazine either. The huge windows would fill the room with natural light during the day, the walls were painted a soft grey and the floor to ceiling bookcase made such a stunning feature that his eyes barely noticed the subtleties that elevated the room to something spectacular. Sadie could make a career as an interior designer, who would have thought that within her bulk was such a gentle touch? Doug was oblivious to Sadie’s beautiful flat, he was in her arms, hugging her for dear life, like a child reluctant to leave its mother.
“You were so brave, I’m so proud of you,” he finally managed.
“And what are you proud of, or are we having a brown bottle moment?”
Doug was renowned for his brown bottling, when he drank he loved the world and felt the need to express it and he didn’t give a monkey’s what time it was, Sadie had often been the recipient of a dawn phone call.
“Darling, look,” he showed her the footage on his phone.
“Oh wow,” said Sadie eventually.
As they stood and watched the number of comments escalated, it was at 20,000 before Doug turned it off.
“I’ll make the tea,” said Doug, “its going to be a long night.”
“How do you want to play this Sweetheart? I’m happy to act as your agent,” smiled Stuie.
“Na, you’re alright thanks Stuie. I have an agent already, but I appreciate your lovely offer,” said Sadie.
“Oh yes, of course you do, silly me.”
“So, if you’re not going to be my agent you can probably go Stuie, but thanks for bringing Doug over though,” she smiled.
“I think it would be better for you if I stuck around for a bit, after all I’m far more used to dealing with the media than either of you.”
“That’s very kind of you, but really there’s no need.”
“Maybe just until the trains are running, ah Sadie?” said Doug holding her in a doe eyed stare.
“Perhaps we should do a selfie and post it up, just to show the world you’re fine and that you’re with friends,” suggested Stuie looking in the mirror behind the sofa and adjusting his hair.
“Great idea, you take it of me and Doug, selfies are hardly flattering are they?” smiled Sadie.
It was nearly time for the postman to start his rounds when they finally went to sleep, Doug in with Sadie and Stuie on the sofa, the shutters over the large lounge window doing little to banish the light. Stuie had been online and had named Sadie hours earlier, he’d also secretly posted updates such as ’safe with brave Sadie. She’s shaken but ok, thanks for the kind thoughts.’ He knew she’d go mad if she found out, but he also knew she had the technological know how of his own mother, Doug was the only one that could cause any trouble and he was pretty confident he wouldn’t. Stuie lay awake watching his inbox fill up with comments and requests from people who couldn’t find an online presence for Sadie, he tried to answer them all. He was going to make dam sure he was in on this gig.
“Wakey wakey sleepy heads,” chimed Stuie, “I’ve been out and got some breakfast for us all, oh and there’s a reporter on the doorstep downstairs. I didn’t let her in, I just said you were fine.”
“What?” shouted Sadie.
“And the views and comments are well over 100k now.”
“What?” whispered Sadie.
“Listen, you two stay here today and don’t answer the phone or open the door. I, in the meanwhile, will pop out and get you some decent clothes before you make your debut. Give me your credit card and pin.”
“I will do no such thing.”
“Ok, you can owe me. I’ll only charge mates rates for the styling.”
“Woo now cowboy, you can bugger off if you think I’m paying you anything.”
“Darling, you look drab and dull. If you want something to come of this you need to help yourself. Now come on, it’s what I do best. Admittedly there’s only so much I can do with your face and hair, but surely even you can see that leggings are repulsive?”
“You are too kind, don’t hold back will you? But, I’m me and that’s all and I’m happy with that. Who said I want anything to come of this?”
“Come on Sadie, use your chance, you could be the next agony aunt on breakfast telly. This is a fantastic opportunity, and I, one of London’s premier stylists, am offering to sort you out by lunchtime. Have some vision for God’s sake.”
“Fine. You go and buy some stuff but keep the receipts, and if you buy anything I don’t like you are taking it back, and if it’s too expensive you are paying for it, and I like leggings, do you hear me?”
Stuie didn’t hear her as he was half way out of the door.
The breakfast Stuie had bought was fruit. “Thank you Sadie,” said Doug,
“I know you don’t like him, but I really do.”
“I know. You do realise he’s a complete dick though don’t you?”
“Oh I do hope so,” laughed Doug holding a banana.
“He’ll hurt you Doug.”
“Ooh, but only in a good way,” he winked at her.
Luckily, Sadie’s flip phone wasn’t connected to the internet or she might have been overwhelmed by some of the comments she had received. Most were positive, but the trolls were there, ready for action, and had posted numerous jokes at her expense. State side the Americans had received her really well and there were emails already heading her way with offers of work.
“I have worked miracles,” announced Stuie from behind armfuls of shopping. “I have walked miles today, my feet are probably two sizes bigger. Do you have any peppermint tea Sadie? I managed to grab this last bagful just as the shop was closing and it’s going to look fabulous. You are going to be fit for telly in no time, oh and they have found the really hot guy, he’s called Matthew Sherbourn, and frankly he’s even better looking than in that video.” Sadie’s tummy flipped at the very memory of the handsome passenger, yes Matthew Sherbourn sounded about right for him. She was glad he wasn’t a Tim or a Brian, glad that he had a name that suited his strong jaw and square shoulders.