Scars on My Black

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Ethan [Kevin]

Bachelor parties

The last day of a single man’s life before its chained down with cinder blocks and dropped into the Mariana Trench. It is something to be celebrate with gusto and by gusto, I mean booze. Sadly, this humongous being of a man deemed booze an inhibitor where we are going.

Alto is still an unknown to me. He has this calm voice that makes you feel like your swimming in a pool of warm chocolate but a gaze that send shivers down your spine. He’s also trying to get in good with my mom which is proving futile. My ma never liked ‘darkies’. Alto is even trying with me but every time he tries talking to me, I just start feeling uneasy. It’s like I can’t breathe with him.

So, when Alto offered me to ride in the front seat I had to decline. I sank back in the snug seats of this man’s Volvo. I begin flipping through my third new phone for the year. I glanced through the barren phone about to turn it off when the ping goes off. A name I didn’t think to see again.

💋 Yesenia 💋 {1 New Message}

Instant regret and saddness rush to the forefront of my mind as I stared at the neon green notification banner. My thumb hovered over the banner until it disappeared. I have not talked to her since the hallway. With all the stuff that has been going on I have not had a chance to talk it out with her. Well, have her yell at me while I take it.

I pulled down the menu revealing her name still there, begging me to open it. Before I got a chance to place my decision, the car came to an abrupt halt causing me to slide the choice out of my view. I pry my eyes away from the screen to see where the car has pulled up to.

What was I suspecting?

Maybe something fun like a go-kart track, an indoor zip line or a fucking pool. Just not a gym. A gray cemented square box filled with testosterone driven, big burly guys and women. At least Jeremy is going to enjoy himself, that adrenaline junkie.

We stepped out the car and displeasure filled my body. I craned my next up towards Alto and tapped on his hard triceps.

“I know this is your bachelor party but a gym?“, I query desperately trying to hide the uneasiness I was feeling deep down.

The giant gave a wide smile, “It’s not the gym I took you guys for.“, he responds and begins leading the way inside.

“Hope it’s not rock climbing, that shit is just unnecessary.“, I sighed as I followed his lead.

Alto didn’t reply back as he began talking to the worker at the front desk. I looked back at Jeremy who seemed to be eyeing the place. He caught my short stare and eased his way to my side.

"Place isn’t that bad inside." Jeremy began eyeing the interior light blue and white walls.

Despite outer appearances the gym seemed to be well kept. The machines look maintained and there was little to know rubbish around. However, like any gym, smelled of sweat, body spray and wet dog even though there were few people here at this time. It made my skin crawl just inhaling it all, bringing back memories of not so pleasant times.

“You okay Kev?” Jeremy asked nudging me lightly with his elbow.

“Its nothin man. Seems like Alto’s coming back with...boxing gloves?", I stated, my voice trailing off at the end.

Alto bounded up towards with said boxing gear in hand. Out off all the thing to choose to do at a gym, why would boxing be one. You are literally going to get your ass beat, better yet my ass beat, before your wedding.

Also, who is boxing this man?

Not this fucker. If I throw a punch at him it would be like throwing a grape at a gorilla. One hit from him and there will be blood everywhere and I’ll be rolling up to wedding with a full body cast on. I looked towards Jeremy just to see this madman looking ready as ever. I could only follow these two in disconnect. Their mouths flapping open and shut probably discussing the best way to lay my ass out in the ring for all I know. I didn’t even realize we reached the ring until Alto handed me a pair of gloves.

“Alto. What the fuck?” I asked as plainly as I could put it.

Alto looked at me with confusion before finally letting it sink in. “oh! I always like to let out energy before going out and the best way for me is to get a few punches in. Don’t you agree?", he replied. I could see Jeremy just behind him with a smug grin on his face.

“As much as I would ‘love’ to join you, there seems to be one less person here.” I tried reasoning. A small nervous smile coming to my lips.

Alto looked unfazed, “Don’t worry another person will be joining us."

I cocked my head to the side just a bit, “And who’s that?"

As if the universe could not hold it back any longer. He walked in. His footsteps grew closer as he strides with such confidence and swagger of any devil reincarnate towards the room. A wicked smile graced his banana pudding colored face.

“Hello my sweet, dear brother!” Ethan announced making his way towards our small group.

I felt Jeremy place a hand on my shoulder. It was then I realized I was shaking. Ethan’s haughty look as he eyed both of us sent a tremor down my spine.

“Jeremy and Kevin haven’t seen you two since last year. I guess time flies, especially for you two. Fucking does make things feel faster.” He jabs like a bratty kid.

“Shut the fuck up Ethan. No one asked you anything from your pale ass lips.“, I fired at him.

Ethan’s conceited face fell. An irritated look came to his face. If Jeremy weren’t behind me, I think I would have backed up.

“Right... you have a girlfriend don’t you. Ma would have demanded it for you to come.” Ethan said before going over to Alto.

I can’t stay in here. Jeremy’s protesting voice were echo’s in my mind as I walked out. I didn’t know where my legs took me and I didn’t care. Next thing I know I’m in a room. A dark room with nothing but my thoughts to consume me. I just want it to stop. These foggy images from becoming clearer by the second. Every pressure or indent made. The scars that viciously carved my heart to its shape. The same heart that held the blade. To lie that pain I feel feign.

An unconscious hand caressed the back of my ears to feel the shame. A permeant reminder of what I am truly.

What I will or will not be able to do.

What I do not deserve.

What I cannot achieve,

What I cannot feel.

What I cannot be.

“Kev! C’mon man. Don’t be alone again.“, I could hear Jeremy pleaded.

“Maybe I need to be alone.“, I replied looking at my still shaking hands.

“He’s just came and he’s already messing with your fucking head.“, Jeremy replied back.

He is right. Always right.

“Why the fuck is he here? Why would Alto invite his ass here? Why would Everest tell him about that ass? And why did Everest invite him?” I demanded.

There was silence for a brief second.

“It doesn’t matter why. What does matter is if you are able to deal with him here.“.

I let out a long-exasperated breath. I opened the door, which I just realized was a supply closet, meeting Jeremy face to face.

“Done being a bitch?” Jeremy teases cautiously.

I fixed my glasses up my nose before punching him in the shoulder.

“Who you are calling a bitch? You big pansy.“.

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