Scars on My Black

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Sorry [Kevin}

“Open wide Kevin.”

Petra’s singing voice chimed as she held a silver spoon with some substance.

After I spent most of my morning having Jeremy soak my right arm in ice hopes it isn’t broken . I am so glad mind reading isn’t possible or else I would be shot in my sleep. Now here I was with one arm in a sling while my lovely queen forced some green chicken soup down my throat.

How the fuck you get green chicken soup anyway?

My question was cut short as a hot spoon was shoved into my mouth. Pieces of grey meat and slimy broth splashed across the room. My eyes narrowed as I gazed up to Petra who had a pleased smile on her face. “I hate you.″

Petra chuckled softly and pets my head like I was a dog. Like I was her bitch.

“Good boy.” she replies, pressing a delicate kiss on my forehead before rising from her seat and padded her way to the kitchen.

Knock! Knock!

“Jeremy! someone’s at the door!”

A soft groan can be heard as Jeremy drags himself to the door wearing his oversized Star Trek insignia shirt.

“Hey? Why are you here so early?″.

I peered over the top of the couch but only saw the top a voluminous afro behind Jeremy’s head. Only one girl in this entire school has hair as full as that. Bess Swan from chemistry class. The girl who caught my eyes that year ago. She is also one of the schools funded students and the deserved it. She’s in all honors classes besides chemistry and participated in a lot of the schools’ campaigns which included trips. She really used the school’s need for tokenism to her advantage.

“Bess, you came to visit lil old me?″

Bess groaned softly, “Hey Jeremy, I see you’ve been hitting the gym more, why not take bag-of-bones over there with you.″

“Hey! I would go but he and Nikkei are basically eye-fucking each other the whole time.” I retorted.

Bess walked over to the couch and leaned her slim body along the arm of the couch. It seemed like an innocent act of sitting down but believe me that twinkle in her deep brown eyes only spoke mischief. Sadly, I noticed too late as she pushed herself back landing directly on my swollen arm.

Now let us be clear because, I’m grown and grown men like me don’t scream like little girls - or bawl like little boys, Jeremy.

We men holler. In the light of the intense pain that was eradicating across my arm I hollered. I hollered like a man being beat with a hanger because they forgot to take chicken out the freezer before their mama came back.

“You fucking dick...” I gritted out trying to will away some manly tears.

“Bitch I got a pussy, or you have forgotten those late nights already.” she hums and ran a gentle hand down my injured hand.

“Nah. I ain't forget, just like the fact you got no tits.″

Bess’ face fell and pushed me away. “And I have not forgotten why I broke up with you.″

“You two dated?” a new voice entered the conversation.

I laughed and stared up at Petra’s slightly shocked face while she held a plate of toast and jam. “Yeah. I wasn’t just pristine ken doll waiting in the store for you to open up.″.

Bess looked between us before she drilled holes into me, “You got Petra Owls in your house.“.

Bess bit her pink bottom lip as she tried to process what was going on. Like clockwork it all shifted together with time. “No...for real?” her voice dripped in disbelief.

Petra quickly shook her head and smiled. She walked over to the sofa and pushed Bess to the side and wrapped her plump arms around my shoulders. Bess eyes narrowed at her and raised from her seat.

“You know Kevin I never thought you would date someone like her.“, Bess admitted and gestured to the vixen I desperately wanted to throw off.

Petra eyebrow twitched slightly. She raised herself from the seat in such poised like one a southern belle. The two women stared each other down. Like a western, each girl waited for the other one. Just one quiver and it would be all over for that person.

It seemed Bess was the one to falter first.

“Kevin, I hope you are happy with this girl. It seems your detestable attitude would go great with hers.” She stated firmly.

Now it was my turn to stand up. “You think so lowly of me.“, My voice cracked slightly.

“It wouldn’t be above you. I used to see how you looked at girls like her and now you have finally got one.“.

I closed my eyes tightly. A spark of rage fills my mouth. Petra’s watchful eyes reminded me of what is at stake. She wanted me to be the bad guy. So I became the bad guy she wanted if it meant for Bess to not get caught up in this situation. If only I did not try to love Bess she wouldn’t have been dragged into this mess.

Love is messed up.

I scoffed, “If I am so fucking detestable why the fuck do you still be around me. Why are you here? Can’t you see I have moved on! Why the hell can’t you!″

Bess’ mouth opened and shut. She squeezed her eyes shut before she turned to Petra and uttered, “I hope you are fucking happy with yourself.” Bess quickly turned on the heel of her sneakers and left the dorm with only the slam of the door behind her.

The room felt like the arctic. Cold, quiet and could probably blind you if you look too long. I did not stay around much longer for Jeremy or Petra to say anything. I went as fast as my long legs could carry me to my room. I slammed the door shut and threw myself on my bed.

Minutes turned to hours. I don’t know how long I laid there and stared into the bland blue walls of my room.

Bess eyes glossed over with tears as she raced out the door.

My heart ached. Even if we were not together anymore I still enjoyed her presence.

I wish I could tell her that.

Maybe I will get the chance.

But not now.

I looked hazily at the small digital clock on my bedside. It’s almost three. I should head to my appointment with Charlez now. I pulled on some loose sweats with a random green t-shirt and journeyed outside my room.

It seemed that everyone else has left. At least I didn’t have to face Jeremy yet. I grabbed my bike from the bike park and began my journey to Charlez place. It wasn’t a long bike ride, but it felt like it went on for ages. My mind continued to swirl around the image of Bess repeatedly. If she would let me, I would apologize. If I could get that chance.

Once I arrived at his dorm lot, I immediately enter the room. He rarely keeps his door lock as no one has ever dared to enter. On cue Charlez was there setting up to cut my hair. His movements were a bit shaky but not as bad as he could have been.

“Same fade and ting right?” Charlez drawled swaying side to side.

“You done know .”

The buzz of a razor filled the small dorm as neither Charlez nor I spoke. I can understand why Charlez wasn’t talking since using whatever concentration he has to cut my hair. For me however, events from early swirl in my head. I am already hearing the earful Jeremy is going to give me. I can’t blame him for it.

The closet door opened suddenly as Jeremy entered the room with Nikkei following closely behind. Why did Nikkei have to come with him? It’s already hard enough having one person angry with me.

“Kevin~” Nikkei gushed, throwing his arms around my middle before giving me smack on the arm, “Bess came to art class really sad today and told me what you said.” His eyes narrowed, glaring towards me, his grip tightening ever so slightly around my injured arm.

I bit back a pained winced as his grip pressed further on his hand.

“Look I didn’t mean to make her sad, like come on this ain’t the first time we argued.” ,I tried defending myself, “I have to keep up appearances to Petra.“.

“But this is the first time! You have a new girlfriend! Which is also school’s local bitch.” Jeremy butts in.

“Stay out of this Jere.” I snapped at him. “It is best for you all to stay away from this before she ropes you all into her web.“.

“Kevin let us help you. You and I always help each other. Because this I’m seeing right now is going to get worse.” He replied, gesturing up and down at me.

He isn’t going to let up is he. It was never his way to give up.

‘I’m sorry Jeremy’

I pushed myself out the chair. Hair half done and scowled at the Indian teen. Jeremy’s eyes widened at the change. “What makes you the one to dictate how I felt! How I feel inside!“, I shouted even though the little mind in the back is crying.

Jeremy was not taking that and stepped forward, “Well I got to make my assumptions because of your closeted ass trying to be all ‘I don’t care about other people’s mentality.’ Kev.“.

“Mentality? You think I give a fuck about you? News flash, I do not. You are just a pestering Indian boy who won’t let me fuck up my own life!“.

The air in the room got tensed. The only space between us was held by little Nikkei trying desperately to separate us.

“Please Kevin... Jeremy stop this nonsense.” Nikkei pleaded.

Nikkei placed his hands on either of our chests. I needed to end this quick. Closing my eyes tightly I back hand slapped Nikkei across the face. The sound echoed through the room like a sonic boom. I believe the sound even made Charlez sober. My heart felt like an arrow pierced it. It hurts so bad. The tears well but they do not flow. Peeking open my eyes I inspect the damage.

Nikkei’s doe green eyes soon filled with tears. A pink hand over the red mark across his cheek. Jeremy anger and disappointed face while he comforted his lover while I stared at them speechless.

“I hope you are satisfied with yourself Kevin.” was the last thing Jeremy said before leaving the dorm holding Nikkei in his arms.

I did not leave that dorm for a long time. Even hours after the haircut was complete. Charlez said nothing but kept my cup filled. Silence is what I needed. Silence and calmed nerves. I knew Jeremy most likely locked me out the dorm. Not like I want to go back. To face the betrayal, I just committed.

It soon turned eleven and I was on my sixth glass. I place the glass to my lips when the phone rang. The word ‘unknown number’ flashed on the screen. I swiped the green button as even if it could a serial killer he wouldn’t mind at all.

Petra: Hello Kevin baby~

Kevin: How did you get my number?

Petra: I have my sources.

Kevin: Whatever. What do you want your majesty?

Petra: I heard you got kicked out of your dorm.

Kevin: And that concerns you how?

Petra: Well if you are looking for a place to stay welcomed to come by my apartment.

Kevin: Now why would I do that.

Petra: Why not? Cannot visit your girlfriend?

Kevin: You’re not girlfriend! And even if it was true, I won’t go by your place.

Petra: Suit yourself. Weather forecast calls for showers tonight. So, hurry up. Bye Baby~.

I growled as the call clicked off. I’m not going by her place. She is the reason I got kicked out in the first place. I sat down the glass before making my way out the dorm. I made sure to lock the door to prevent a drunk Charlez from being loose on school grounds.

Thunder rolled above in warning to what’s coming. I am firm in my belief. I’m not going by her apartment. Really, I am.....

It started to drizzle.

Still not going.

Nope.

Where does she live again?

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