I am always so tired. It had been a month since the shooting at our wedding. Syphus was cleared to go home by Dr. Green a 2 weeks after. Right now he is on his way home for the night. The rapid growth of the baby affects me more and more. By calendar wise I would be 15 weeks, but by the size and growth of the baby he is more along 24 almost 25 weeks. I do not understand and just go with it. Whats the point when it’s not going to help anything. It is getting harder to just do simple things and not get tired. Mentally the rapid change is very difficult. Physically it’s taking some getting use to.
On my computer is progress reports about my pregnancy that only I and Syphus have access to. I was reading them when a small attack started to kick in. I take a deep breath with a hand on my stomach. Focus my thoughts on a spinning clock, like I’ve tried before, and the feeling goes away before the shakes start.
I look at the page on the screen again and scroll through the notes. There is a section that is redacted and that confuses me.
Why do I not have access to that information if I am the mother? If they don’t want me to stress then why hide shit from me, doing so just worries me.
I brought it up once but it was brushed off as probably a computer error. I’m not so sure as it keeps happening. I sigh and close the laptop.
I don’t have top stuff in my computer or desk in my office at the lab, I don’t think, But of course Syphus does. His computer is also linked to the Underground Base and a couple of other bases, but not all of them. I wish I knew all that goes on with Syntec but I don’t. It’s probably for the best though. If Deborah ever did get her hands on me, all would be lost if she could break into my head.
Deborah hasn’t been able to reach me, but she has tried getting into the babies head twice. The second time it happened I jumped out of bed scaring the shit out of Sy. I also had another one of those small blood spots. This is when we discovered through a scan that the baby is growing faster then normal and that’s probably whats causing the spots. I have my doubts on that. It only happened after Deb tried to reach out to the baby. The second dream she tried a scare tactic instead of an innocent voice like before. Of course being literally connected I could see the dream too.
~Three weeks ago~
The dream started off with a dark hallway. We, meaning the baby and I, floated through the hallway blindly. Our feet were cold but couldn’t feel the floor. On either side there was an endless row of doors through the seemingly endless hall. Using my hand we opened one of the doors. On the other side was a green mountain scenery like from a Montana travel guide. The smell of flowers, fresh rain and grass wafted out. The next door was not so nice.
Each door along the hallway got creepier and stunk. Finally upon reaching the end of the hall there was a dark door that I wouldn’t want to touch with a stick. It looked like decaying green and black flesh. It even looked like it had skin and pores like flesh. A smell emanated from it that made me wrinkle my nose even in my sleep. The doorknob was gray and brittle looking like a decaying bone! touching it was disgusting, flakes of the bone nob fell off to the floor as we turned it.
As soon as we opened the door a crack it flew wide open on its own flinging a smell I can still remember while awake. An indescribable stench of rotting flesh, feces, urine and the tinge of bad blood. Immediately we tried to turn and run away but found our feet stuck to the floor as if glued.
The scene on the other side of the door was nothing but a swirling blackness with a red glowing center that kept pulsating and moving closer. In the blink of an eye the pulsing stopped and with a flash of deep red everything on the other side changed.
Suddenly there was a man standing on the other side in the darkness. He was disheveled, his hair all fallen off and scalp red and sore. He was hunched slightly and leaning on a cane.
The head of the cane under his hand was silver like a sword handle, but not like any sword I’d ever seen. A ring gleamed on one finger but we couldn’t make out what was on it just that it was gold.
The man took a step toward us revealing that he was wearing a black trench coat that was tattered and moving on its own like it was alive.
The man kept slowly walking toward us yet not getting any closer. It felt like one of us was pushing him back somehow. The man stopped, looked up and let out an evil cackle. He was wearing dark goggle like glasses and his hat was sort of like a top hat, tipped down to his brow slightly.
Again we tried to back away and couldn’t. The dark man started toward us getting a little closer a wicked grimacing grin on his face. The air stunk of rot and was making me feel sick. There was that feeling of pushing against the man and I stretched out my arm towards him.
I could see a blue glow around my hand and the mans steps started to stumble looking like he was struggling to go forward. I put out my other hand like the first also with my hand glowing blue light.
The dark man stopped and stood still staring us down, the wicked grin turning into a deep frown. He glared at us from behind the glasses for a second. I could feel the pushing against him coming from my hands and from inside. ‘was my baby doing this?’ I thought still holding my hands out. The baby didn’t have words yet and I suddenly spoke for him, “You will not win Deborah.”
With this the dark man tipped his head back and wailed as if in pain. He looked back down at us and reached up to his glasses. He yanked them off in one motion revealing blue eyes that were not blue or real. They glowed an incandescence of reds, oranges and yellows. The colors swirled as if trying to hypnotize us. At this I said for us, “We can’t be hypnotized. Nice try.” I laughed at him, her, It. The Dark Thing screamed out at us stretching out his arms and pointing the cane at us. Before anything could touch us we were finally able to move and slammed the door shut.
I jumped out of bed hitting my arm on the side table and knocking the lamp down. “Ouch! Fuck.” I say grabbing my arm.
“What?” Syphus jumps awake at the sound of the broken lamp and turns the one on his side on. “Shit.” I say now sitting on the edge of the bed holding my elbow. Why do they call it a funny bone? Its So Not funny when you hit it hard. “Are you ok? What happened?” Sy asks moving over to me.
“I hit my elbow. Crap..” I groan and grit my teeth. “God why does that hurt so bad you end up laughing?” I say starting to giggle at the stupidity.
“You scared the shit out of me.” Sy says starting to giggle with me then stops when I look at him remembering why I jumped and hit my elbow to begin with. The look on my face must have made it obvious. “What’s wrong?” He asked me concerned.
“She tried to get at us.”
“She tried to get in the babies head!” I started to panic and that made me shake. “God how is this happening again? Why?”
Syphus wraps his arms around me and let me cry into his shoulder. I couldn’t help myself. Hormones on top of stress, on top of ‘Her’. Deborah. I could feel heat waves coming off of Syphus but he held them in on account of me.
Things had started getting really strange around the time of the shooting last month at our wedding.
Now they were even more strange. Deb was getting into the babies head. And he was fighting her off very well too. Though right now he needed my physical body to help.
There is also the fact that ‘Venom’ running through his veins was making him grow extremely fast. At 14 weeks, He has grown to the size of a 20 week old fetus! My body can keep up but my mind is having trouble wrapping around it and it’s causing awful mood swings and tiredness. It’s technically the halfway mark growth wise. My baby bump is definitely noticeable and more than just a bump.
I sniffed, “I’m sorry.” I take a slow breath and Sy kisses my cheek and keeps holding me murmuring to me that it’s ok. We both lay back down falling asleep in each others arms with the one lamp on.
~Back to June 17~
I’m standing in the living room looking out the window when my back starts to twinge in pain. The skin along the front of my thighs starts to tingle with a strange numb sensation. This has happened before but the only thing for it is to go to a chiropractor.Obviously I can’t be doing that so I deal with it. Sitting on the edge of the sofa I rub my hands up and down my thighs massaging them.
“Knock it off!” I say irritated.
There’s a kick from my stomach and I giggle, “Not you luv.” I say and start running my hands over my stomach instead and lean back into the cushions.
“We still don’t have a name for you yet.” I say rubbing the soccer ball that is my stomach. I twist behind me reaching for the music box on the table behind the sofa. I wind up the key to let it play, setting it on my stomach. The tune ticks away and I feel another kick. “A little more than halfway.” I sigh listening to the music box. I start to doze off then startle awake and decide to just lay down. I re-wind the music box and again set it on my stomach while it plays. I watch it and listen before falling asleep. I’m always tired. It takes a lot of energy just being pregnant.