Ashen Colored Dream

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Kusakabe Yuu used to be a normal student, until he became the subject of a confession game, a game in which someone pretends to express their interest in someone else, only to reveal the truth after they reciprocate. As Yuu struggles to find his confidence and sense of self-worth back, he tries everything to find solace, and seemingly managed to do that when he allegedly successfully created his world in an anti-depressant induced lucid dream. There, he found his ideal girl, and to maintain that world, Yuu swore that he would do anything...

Drama / Romance
Age Rating:

Prologue: Flashes of the Past

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” - Laurell K. Hamilton

I’m surrounded by darkness. Everlasting and never-ending darkness. And yet, I feel no fear. All I feel is serenity, as my body gently floats around aimlessly in the middle of this endless abyss. How long has it been since I accepted that I could never escape, I wonder... I no longer have the proper understanding of time, for what use is time in nothingness? But still... after all this time...

“I want to go back... to that colourful, broken world...”

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I’m-”

Stop it.

“Should we go somewhere together this weekend?”

Please, stop.

“You’re an interesting one, aren’t you?”


“Yuu, I-”


I jolt awake, screaming at the empty space that is my room. My phone and medicine container that I put on the top of the nightstand beside my bed is now lying on the ground, with what remains of my medicine scattered around near the bottle. My clothes and bed are soaked with sweat, even though the A/C is functioning properly. I sit on top of my bed silently as though I’m in a trance, even though my heavy and short breathing betrays my calm façade. I took a few moments to try and compose myself, regulating my breathing back to normal. As I manage to calm down, tears start to flow freely on my cheek, and I simply let it continue, drowning myself in the sadness that started to envelop me when I finished calming myself down.


I curled up to a fetal position, crying silently for the next few minutes while trying to push away the images in my mind, although they keep creeping back on every time I stop trying.

“...What did I ever do to deserve this?”

The early morning silence doesn’t provide me with an answer.

I turn off the water as I finish showering. the coldness of the water seeping through my skin assaults my bones as I continuously shiver, my body trying to generate more heat to warm me up. The piercing smell of sweat is now replaced with that of soap and shampoo, which fills my nose as I start to dress up. I put on my underwear and undershirt, and then my school shirt and slacks, and finally my black necktie, belt and socks.

After making sure everything is where it should be, I descend the stairs towards the first floor and grabs my breakfast as well as my coat, and walks out the front door, closing it behind me as I exit the house. I start walking along the road that goes up the hill, which at the end of it is the school that I am attending. The cold wind blows around me, creating a chilling atmosphere, making me shiver a little bit even when I have my coat on.

After walking for a few minutes up to the road, my surroundings start to get livelier, indicating that I am fast approaching the school. The chatter of the other students can be heard as I approach even closer, the voices seemed out of place compared to the deserted road. Not long afterwards, the huge school building comes into view, as well as the gate that marks the separation between the area of the school and the town. The chattering sound grows louder as I approach the school, as the number of student in view increases. They are all heading towards the entrance, and I follow suit, walking silently in the middle of the loud yet meaningless conversations

Just as I reach the door...

“Good morning, Yuu.”

A familiar voice greets me from behind.

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