Falling in love takes up a lot of time, effort and courage. I learned that first hand. Experience is the best teacher, no doubt about it. I was careless. Too reckless to even consider the consequences. I wish I listened to what they said. Not regretting.
But here I am, trying to forget the colorful flashbacks that came with his betrayal. Things that just remind me of him brings out the beast within. He was the light in my life that turned dim until it was nothing but smoke. Total darkness occupied my heart for what seemed like forever.
I have loved him ever since, trusting him to the brink where I’d forget everything and follow his every word without complain. If he snaps, I’ll follow him over that edge. Surrendering your will to follow the person who’ll lead you to success and in the end, your destruction. Fairytales make every child’s mind believe that everything about life is simple. That love are all about roses, rainbows and hugs.
A total lie.
Nothing in this world are all rainbows and flying horses.
I couldn’t help wonder, what would my life be if it didn’t go downhill. That our lives intertwined was perfect. If he didn’t think that I wasn’t good enough anymore. A burden. An annoying old swing, which he loved back in the old days, now rusted that he got to throw away. Replacing it with a new and beautiful one. One that he wouldn’t be shy to show off to the world.
Here is the truth...
The man who I call my husband, is a monster.