"Don't EVER fucking speak to me again!" She says so quietly so that only I could hear her, but with so much hurt and anger, I can practically taste the poison dripping off her words.
"What the hell, Ghost!?" Her dad’s voice roars, but I can’t even focus on him with how much pain I feel coursing through my body from her words, seeing that I had broken her heart that badly. I honestly never did take her feelings seriously. When she'd tell me she loves me, I never thought she meant it. How could someone love me?
"You were supposed to be protecting her!" His voice boomed again.
"I just killed that fucking low-life Saint over there. What the fuck do you mean!" I yell right back.
"She said you were fucking gone!" He says through gritted teeth.
God, of fucking course she thought I left. I'd never altogether leave her.
"I stayed in another fucking room! What in the fuck! When I came down, I was watching her load her shit when the fucker popped up out of nowhere!"
Her eyes dart to the ground, trying to hide the tears, but I see them. Fuck. I can practically feel them. It’s breaking my heart. I didn't even know I had one until just now.
"Take her the fuck home!" He roared.
"I'd rather someone else did, Dad." She looked up at him with tear-stained cheeks.
"No, I've got it." I reach for our stuff off the ground.
"Look, I'm sorry, just please give me a chance to explain on the drive home. Then you can decide if you still hate me."
"Okay," was all she said as she climbed in.
I walk around and get in the driver's seat. I don’t know where to begin, so I guess the beginning was best.
"Cassie, I'm seriously so incredibly sorry. I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was too late until I saw the look in your eyes today. I honest to Oath didn't believe your feelings were real." I could see the anger building in her expression. "I don't mean it like that. It's just hard to believe someone could love me. I mean, look at me. I'm a fucking killer, for Christ's sake. I'm in a damn motorcycle club! You don't know the things I've done. It takes a piece of me every time."
She looks me dead in the eyes and whispers a firm "I know Luke. I know everything." She turns to look out the window, "I've always known. You forget I was here before you transferred. I’ve heard the stories. I wasn't afraid. You forget this is the life I've grown up in. This shit doesn't scare me or make me think any less of anyone. They all do what needs to be done; you do what needs to be done. This is in my blood just as much if not more than it's in yours." She sighed.
"Cass, I know you get it and all that, but you're good, you're solid. I'm not. They call me Ghost for a reason. I'm the best at disappearing; you can't trust me. I've more than proven that to you. I should never have let last night happen. You're only seventeen, for crying out loud! I took your fucking virginity. Then I wasn't even decent enough to stay the night! Don't you get it? I'm no fucking good!"
"God damn it, Lucas! Don't you fucking understand I don't care about that shit? It's not about that! It's fucking about YOU! Who YOU are! Your job isn't you. You're a whole fucking separate person from it! You're more reliable than you think! Otherwise, you wouldn't have even bothered staying in the same hotel! You wouldn't have made sure I had a good birthday; you wouldn't have spent all this time with me!"
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m squealing to a stop on the side of the road. I have to get my point across. I have to look her in her beautiful damn emerald blue eyes and get it through that thick skull.
"Cass! Listen to me when I say, I'm NO FUCKING GOOD FOR YOU!"
Then she does the unexpected; she kisses me. She isn’t scared of me. I wasn't expecting this at all.
"I'll never understand it. No matter how you say it, there's no logical reason to love me." I sigh.
"Love isn't logical," she says, pushing my face away. "Now, take me home."
I can't argue. She does have a point. But can I commit myself to her? Hell, I can't even look after myself half the time. I put the car in drive and speed off, throwing rocks and dirt up behind us.
It's been a few weeks, and things are slightly better between us now. I already figured we wouldn't be an instant couple or anything, but I expected a little less tension between us.
"I thought maybe we could see a movie or something? It's been a while since we've hung out." He says quietly enough for only me to hear.
I can't believe he even dares to talk to me in public. I’m letting him off that easy, though.
"Uh, I'll think about it," I say, playing with the food on my plate.
"Come on, Cass, please. I need to talk to you." He pleaded.
"About what? You haven't said a word to me in the last few weeks. What's so important now?"
"You are. I just miss spending time with you. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Um, yes." I cant help but laugh.
"I can see where you're coming from, but we've been dealing with the fucking Saints. Everyone's on edge. Just, please? We can even just stay here."
I can see he's not giving up, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to.
"Yeah, I guess. We can go to town or something Saturday. But don't get any fucking ideas. I don't forgive you." I hear a sigh of relief from him, and I can't help feeling a little relieved myself.
"Thank you. I promise you won't regret it!"
I woke up the following day feeling different, I don't know what it is, but all week I’ve felt like I was getting sick.