Heaven’s Regrets (Book 1)

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Chapter Eleven

"Cassie, where are you going?" He finally asks when he gets close enough to me.

"Just have to run to the store. I'll be back."

"Alright, I'll drive."

Shit. Ghost can't come. He can't know I'm buying a fucking pregnancy test, "No, it's fine. You have Shelby waiting on you. I'll be alright. Thanks, though!" It all tumbled out of my mouth so fast I'm not sure if it was even English.

"Shelby? Pff, I'd much rather take you to town. I wasn't entertaining it anyway."

"Right. Your arm around Shelby’s waist said otherwise. Look, really, it's okay. You made your point loud and clear. Don't worry about it. See ya!"

"Like hell! I'm taking you, end of discussion. There's too much shit going on, and after the last time you went to town, not happening. So buck up, buttercup." He says, trying to grab the keys, but I got away with them.

"Honestly, Luke, I know you don't care what happens to me. You just don't want my brothers on your case. Someone else can ride with me."

"Fuck that, Cassie. You know that's a load of shit. Now get in the damn car."

"Seriously, Lucas. Please don't make me call my brothers out here. Move out of my fucking way!" I don't know what came over me. That night just came flooding back. He can't expect me to think he cares when he pulled that shit then hardly talked to me. This idiot is something else.

"I can take your brothers. Now let's go."

"I'm going for tampons. Sure you wanna come?"

"Yep!" He says, walking around to open the door for me.

Damn, I thought that'd work.

"You're unbelievable, Ghost." He just smirks and walks around to the driver's side.

The drive there was mainly silent aside from the radio. I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to sneak a pregnancy test. Fuck. Why me?

I’m pulled back to reality when I hear his door open. He walks around the front of the car to my side, opening my door, as usual, modern-day Prince Charming. I mentally roll my eyes.

"Alright, you can wait here. I'll be right back," I say, walking past him.

"Excuse you. I'm coming with."

"Ghost? What the fuck is your deal lately? You've been so weird the last few days."

"Just making sure you're okay." He pulls at the back of his neck like he always does when he shares something a little too personal with me that he didn't mean to.

"Whatever," I huff, walking toward the market doors.

I was practically sprinting, trying to stay in front of him so I could sneak a pregnancy test. They’re luckily right by the tampons. But no such luck, he stays on my ass. I have to think of another plan and fast.

"Um, Lucas, sorry, but I just remembered the club needs some bread and shit. Can you go get this stuff?" I hand him the list I had in my bag from last week's grocery run. So what if we double up? We won't have to make another trip for a bit.

"God, Cass. The whole point of me coming in was to stay with you." He gritted his teeth.

"Please? I'll be quick, and I'll find you right after. I promise."

"Fine, but if you're not by my side in five minutes, I'm coming to you."

"Always the dramatics with you." I roll my eyes.

I swear he makes me roll my eyes more than anyone or anything else. As he walks away, I quickly grab the test and tampons just for proof. I make my way to the self check out and ring up the two items putting them in a bag. After I pay, I take the bag and go to find Luke.

He’s not hard to spot, being 6'6 and pure muscle covered in tattoos with the club’s vest on, his long curly black hair was pulled back in a knot below the bill of his SnapBack. He’s one person I'll never get tired of looking at.

"Back with a minute to spare!" I huff out, coming up to his side.

"Why are you so worked up?" He was squinting at me as if I were under investigation.

"Well, I only had five minutes before you made a scene, dumbass."

"Damn straight!" He chuckles, "Are you sure we need all this stuff? Kitchen looked pretty full today."

"Yeah, figured might as well just get it done while I'm here anyway." I lie straight out of my ass.

"Alright, then just a few more things, and we're good to go. Where's your stuff?"

"They're called tampons Ghost. Can you say tampons? And they're right here!" I say, holding up the bag to him, he quickly moves away from them like they were deadly and I can’t help but laugh.

"Get them away from me, for fucks sake."

"Oh, grow up already, Ghost. Women bleed! You'd think for as many women as you've been with, you'd know a little basic anatomy, hell maybe even be a little graceful about it."

"Fuck that!" He booms, “And how would you know how many women I’ve been with?” He glared down at me.

“Just a guess.” I shrug, and we finish up the list and load everything into the trunk.

He never fails to open my door for me, never entirely understood it. He's the definition of a bad boy, yet here he is acting like a pupil of society opening doors for me.

"So, is that why you've been in such a mood, Cass?" He looked at me sideways.

"Oh fuck off." I scoff.

"What? How am I supposed to learn the basic anatomy if you don't teach me these things?" He laughs.

"Are you okay? Like mentally?" I ask in between laughs.

"Pff, what would make you think otherwise?" He threw his hand over his heart, faking offense.

"Oh, nothing, I guess just that you're off your rocker about damn tampons." I laugh harder.

We laughed and joked with each other the rest of the way home. It felt like how things used to be over the summer, before that stupid hotel.

Reality sinks in, as we get back to the club. I have to take the test, and I have no clue how he will react, but my gut tells me it won't be good. The smile on my face disappears as he opens my door.

"What's wrong, Cassandra?" He whispers in my ear, putting an arm around me as we walked up the dirt path to the front door. Not sure what's gotten into him, but I wish it were always like this.

"Cassandra? You never call me that." I keep my eyes focused on the ground. I hate all of this.

"Well, it's your name, isn't it?" He joked.

"I mean, yeah, but still, you never call me it."

"I just want you to know I'm serious. I know that you care about me, and I'm trying to show you that I care too. Now can you tell me what's wrong?" He says, pulling my chin up. I can’t look him in the eyes and lie.

"It's nothing, just stuck in my feelings a bit too much, I guess," I mumble, which is the truth, kind of.

"I get that. I've been there, sorry you're feeling down. Maybe once your anatomy friend leaves, things will be looking up!" He chuckles.

"I can only hope so."

I can feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I'm not going to cry, not in front of him. I'll crumble, and the whole truth would come out.

"Well, I'll see you later Ghost, got shit to get done." I sadly pry his arm from my shoulder.

"Later, Cass. Have a good night!" He walks over to the bar. I exhale and turn to the stairs leading up to my room.

Now or never, I guess. I walk into my bathroom and pull the test from it’s box, I double-check the door is locked, and once I’m sure it is, I pee on the damn stick.

Time feels frozen. These were the longest three minutes of my life. I can't stop pacing my room. Fucking positive. What am I fucking going to do? I don't want to be a parent, and I'm sure as hell not ready to be a parent.

Ghost wouldn't want to be held down to me.

Why the fuck am I so stupid! I throw myself against my door and slid down. I can’t stop the tears even if I tried. Life will never be the same, no matter my decision.


"Hey, Cass! Ready to go?" Ghost called out, bringing me back from my thoughts.

I think I’m more in shock than I thought. I didn't even realize it’s Saturday. How had a whole day gone by, and I didn't notice?

"Uh, earth to Cassie? You alive in there?" He says, waving a hand in my face.

"Oh. Uh. Shit. Sorry. What's up?" I blankly stare at him.

"I was asking if you're ready to go? Remember you said you'd come with me today?" He looked concerned. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem out of it."

"Yeah, sorry, just um didn't sleep much last night, I guess."

Fuck, I don't even know if I've slept at all since the night before I found out.
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