Heaven’s Regrets (Book 1)

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Chapter Twelve

"If you say so. So are you ready or not?" He’s getting frustrated.

"Yep, let's go!" I jump up from the stool and happen to look down, "Holy fuck! No, I'm not!" I cry, running up the stairs two at a time.

How the hell was I half-naked in the damn bar?! No one said a word! I hear his footsteps trailing up the stairs behind me. As if I wasn't embarrassed enough. I want to disappear right here right now.

"Cass, slow down! What's the deal?" He yelled after me.

"I'm half fucking naked, Ghost! What do you mean!" I slam the door behind me, but it was no use. He just followed me in any way.

"I've seen you naked. What's going on?"

"You're joking. I'm in my fucking underwear, Ghost! Do you want me to go out in public like this? You're off your damn rocker!"

I quickly duck in my closet, grabbing whatever shirt I land on, and thread my arms through it. That's a bit better. Now, I need fucking pants. Where the hell are my pants!

"Like fucking hell I want you going out like that. What the hell is going on with you, Cass? I'm getting worried. And worry isn't an emotion I do. Now start fucking talking!"

I could tell he was furious once I pointed out that we were going in public and I was nearly naked. “I don't want to talk about it right now, okay? Can we just go get this over with?" I say, walking out of the closet finally fully dressed.

"Get it over with?" He almost looks hurt by the words.

"You know what I mean. I just want to get out of here and forget everything for a while." I huff.

He doesn’t ask any more questions, and we finally go to where he was taking me. He wouldn't tell me a thing. We pulled off to a spot that appears to be a scenic lookout. It’s stunning.

You can see the sun setting behind the mountains. It’s peaceful, quiet, and empty. Just what I need right now.

"Wow. How did you find this place?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"I stumbled on it on one of our rides out of town. It's been my favorite spot ever since." He shrugged.

"And you brought me here? Why?"

"I wanted to show you the most beautiful place while I look at the most beautiful person watching it."

My breath caught in my chest. What did he say? Am I hearing things? I just sat there silent. I had no idea how to respond to that. Last I knew, he wanted me to have nothing to do with him. I finally manage to croak out a "why?" But it’s barely a whisper. He heard anyways.

"Because Cassandra, I love you too. I'm done trying to fight it or hide it. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to see you with anyone else. I want you to be mine, all mine."

There it was again—the shock.

"You don't mean that, and if you do, you'll regret it." I sigh.

"I could never regret you, Cassie. Don't you get it? Haven't you been paying attention? Nothing you have ever done has made me regret you or think any less of you. I feel like I've found the other half of what's left of my soul when I'm with you."

"You've known how I've felt all this time, Lucas. You never once let me know you felt this way. You just carried on making me feel like shit thinking you didn't." Tears prick my eyes. Again. Fuck I'm sick of these hormones already.

"Cassie, honest to Oath, I didn't mean to. I didn't know; I didn't realize. And hell, even if I did, I'd be too stubborn to admit it. I'm too old for you. I'm far too damaged for you. I just needed you to know this isn’t a one-way thing."

"I can't do this right now. Can you please take me home?"

"What? Are you serious? I'm pouring my fucking heart out to you, and that's all you can say?"

He’s mad, that's fair. I've been on the receiving end of this. “Hurts, doesn't it?" That is all I could muster to say.

"God damn it. God fucking damn it! How was I this fucking cruel to you?" He said, putting his hands on my hips. It almost looks like regret swirling in his dark eyes. I knew he would regret it.

"I told you, you would regret it," I whisper.

"Really, Cass? I don't fucking regret telling you. I regret treating you that way. Why the hell did you put up with it?"

"You don't listen to me. Love isn't logical, remember?" I sigh.

"Do you really want me to take you home?"

"We can stay for a bit." I might as well enjoy this side of him while I can.

We spent the next few hours sitting on a picnic table tangled up in each other, getting as close as we possibly could. Almost as if our bodies can sense what’s coming Well, I guess I already know what’s coming.

The drive home was mostly silent, he held my hand, and we listened to the soft music on the radio. I’m nervous as fuck. I know I have to tell him. I’m not going to trap him.

We had our moment at that lookout, and if that's all we ever had, I'll be okay with it, eventually.

Ghost and I just got back to the club. I figure now was as good as time as any. He’s going to hate me, but I can't make this decision without him. I have to tell him.

As he was about to get out of the car, I pull his arm back. "Luke. I have to tell you something, and I understand if you hate me. But just remember, it was both of us, not just me. I want your opinion on this."

His previously content expression fell. "What is it? Are you okay? Did something happen to you?”

"No, it's nothing like that, but…” I don't know how to spit it out.

"But what? You can tell me." He sounds panicked.

I can do this. I have to! "I'm pregnant," I say so quietly I barely hear myself, but he heard it loud and clear.

"Damn it. Really Cass?" He sounds upset but not as bad as I thought he would be.

"Yeah, and I'm not holding you to anything, I promise. I just want your thoughts seeing as you are the father."

I see something click in his eyes.

"Fucking hell! It's mine?"

There was the reaction I was expecting. "Please calm down. This is hard enough already. I'm not ready to be a parent! I'm not even eighteen yet, and I still have my auto classes! It's not like I fucking planned this! You were there too!"

Then the door slammed. I have to go after him. He isn't stopping, he’s on a fucking hell-bent mission to get away.

"God damn it, Lucas! Stop right fucking now!" I screamed, which sent my brothers running out in a fury. This probably won't end well.

As soon as Ghost saw them, he stopped dead in his tracks, "Your sisters fucking knocked up! Don't even try me!" He thundered.

They back off instantly, they may be The Rippers, but they also knew no one that took Ghost on lived. "You're fucking what!" They look straight at me.

I'd swear they were twins if I didn't know them, always on the same wavelength. "I don't want to fucking hear about it right now!” I say, storming off after Ghost.

"Lucas fucking Brooks, you stop right the fuck now, or I'll make you!" I probably look like a crazy person running around screaming after him.

Fucker won't stop, so I do what any logical knocked-up seventeen-year-old living in a Mother Chapter would do. I grab a gun, and I shoot at him, purposely hitting the ground near his foot. Got his attention, though.

"Are you fucking crazy, Cass!" He yelled.

"I warned you! Damn it," I say, walking up to him as he finally stopped. He may be Ghost, but everyone knows I never miss. If you weren't hit, it's because I didn't intend to hit you. I've spent all my damn life with guns, and I'd almost bet everything I have I could outshoot anyone here. "Now, will you listen to me! Christ!"

Silence. Good.

"I told you I don't know if I'm keeping it. I want your damn input. You're not going to leave me alone in this!"

Oh, but he was. I just don’t know it yet.

"Do what you damn well please. It's your damn body, and I don't give a damn!"

I can’t help the hurt that spreads across my face. Just a couple of hours ago, he was telling me the opposite.

"Good to know today was a fucking lie," I yell, half crying.

"It wasn't a lie." He said under his breath as he started walking again.

"Bullshit!" I scream and storm off the opposite way.
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