Heaven’s Regrets (Book 1)

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Chapter Thirteen

I come barreling through the bar to my dad’s board room, kicking everyone out, and speak to my dad with purpose and a level head for the first time in my life.

I explain the situation, he’s more than furious, but I make him promise not to touch Ghost, it was both our faults, and he shouldn't have to deal with my dad’s wrath if I don’t.

"So dad, you're caught up. Now here's my plan." I wait for him to say something, but he just nods for me to go on.

"I need money for an apartment, I'm transferring schools, I'll still finish my degree, and I'm getting.." I trail off. This fucking hurt. It's all sinking in now. "I'm getting an abortion. I'm not doing this on my own, and I'm not going through all of this just to give the baby up. It sucks, and it's not fair, but it's my decision."

"Whatever you need, sweetheart. I'm always here for you, and believe me, I understand."

Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I expected almost anything but that. “Thank you, Dad. Really, thank you. I'm going to bed. I'll start packing in the morning."

One year later
I’m just about done working on my truck in the clubhouse shop. I walk over to the driver's side, climbing in to give it a start. I still can’t believe I’m here right now.

"Hey Bitz, you about finished or what?"

I know that damn voice. Red swirls in my vision, and before I know it, I’m reaching for the gun behind my back, flipping the safety off, and climbing out.

As soon as he hears me cock it, he looks up from his phone, and his face pales. Guess if the mother fucker hadn't completely fucked everything up, he would have known I’m back and was working for Bitz.

"Give me one fucking reason why I shouldn't shoot you right now, Ghost!" I say through gritted teeth.

All the anger and pain comes flooding back. It’s been about a year since the day I told him I was pregnant, the last time I saw him before now. Now here I am standing in front of him, nearly shooting him in the blind fury that came rushing back, pummeling me into an utter mess.

"Uh.." was all he managed to say as his eyes land on mine.

"Have it your way then!" I fire my gun, tearing through his left leg.

"What the fucking hell Cass!" He bends down, clutching the fresh wound.

"Oh fuck off, would you!" I yell over my shoulder, "I wanted to shoot you in the head if that makes you feel any better!"

I walk back into the clubhouse looking for my dad, but he isn’t at his usual spot at the bar. Where the hell is he? I check the board room, nope, check outside, also no. What the hell? I finally see Sharp and ask him where Dad is.

"No clue Hun, sorry. Maybe check his office?"

"Will do, thanks, Sharp."

I walk through the hall down to the office when I see him lying on the ground, "Someone call an ambulance!" I scream, pure panic setting in.

I don’t know what to do or how to help. I just shake him and cry over him. He’s barely breathing, and there’s hardly a pulse. I can't fucking lose him too!

Suddenly I’m surrounded; one of the club girls pulls me off of him to start CPR while Sharp calls an ambulance. It feels like I’m watching it from outside of my body as if I died with him, I just sit staring at his lifeless body in shock. I can’t move, even if I wanted to.

I feel an arm go around me and hear words, but I can't seem to process them. I don't know if I'm really here or if I'm dead too.

The second I hear her scream I run as fast as I can for having a bullet in my leg. I've never heard such a blood-curdling scream. I see her leaning against a wall, completely fucking out of it.

I can’t stop myself. I have to comfort her. Before I even know what my body is doing, I wrap her in my arms, I keep telling her it will be okay, but it’s like she’s not even here anymore. She just stares at him.

The paramedics finally arrive, they’re trying to ask what happened, but she sits unmoving in my arms like her literal soul had been sucked out of her body. I nudge her a little bit, trying to shake her out of it, but it doesn’t work.

They pull him up on the gurney and wheel him into the ambulance, they ask if anyone is riding with him, but she doesn’t move. It’s like she’s frozen in time.

Then I hear Sharp speak up after putting the math together that she wasn't moving, "yeah, I'm coming!"

One of the other club girls comes over to check on Cassie, "She's in a bit of shock. Take her to her room and lay her down. I'll meet them at the hospital and keep you updated." Then she was off toward the door before she even finished her sentence.

I wrap an arm behind her back and the other under her legs, carrying her up to her bedroom. When I lay her on the bed, she doesn't move a muscle. She stays exactly as she was when I set her down, still blankly staring off into nothing.

This is freaking me out. I don't know what the hell to do. I bend down to make eye contact, well try to anyway. She won't look at me. I don't know if she even knows I’m here.

"Trish went to the hospital, and she'll keep me updated. He's going to be okay, Cassie. Please snap out of this." I was whispering, not to spook her, but god, I want to yell, just to shake her out of it. No response, of course.

I go grab a blanket off her chair and cover her up before starting my search for a first aid kit. Looking through the bathroom, I find the kit in the cupboard and painfully start bandaging my leg up, thanking the universe it was through and through. Saving me from having to dig for the bullet.

I quietly return to Cassie’s room and lay down beside her. There’s no way I’m leaving her alone in this state.

I must have fallen asleep, because when I open my eyes it’s dark out, and Cassie still hasn’t moved.

I get up to use the bathroom and get her some water, but I doubt she'll drink it, I have to try at least. I come out of the bathroom and grab a water out of her mini-fridge, walking over to her. I try asking if she wants some but I’m met with only silence.

Checking my phone, I have three missed calls and a few texts. Fuck, of course, I couldn't even handle receiving updates. I'm worthless.

"Ghost, he's going to pull through. He had a blocked artery. They've got him in surgery."

"He out of surgery and stable."

"He's pulling through, man."

I rush back over to Cassie's side and read her the texts as I show her the screen. She blinks a couple of times, and I swear tears start forming.

"He's going to be okay, Cass. You need to snap out of this so you can be at the hospital for him when he wakes up." I say, pulling her hair back from her face, but no reply. "Alright, I'll give you your time to process. I know it's a lot. I'll be here for you when you come to." I kiss her forehead.

I know I was partly to blame, seeing me back after everything then seeing her Dad laying there lifeless, hell I would have shut down too.

Her Dad and brothers are all she has left of her family. I had thought of her every day, but I never thought about what would happen if she came back.

She must have known I was still here, right? Ugh. How could she have? She shut the world out that night and never returned to the club until she got this job with Bitz.

I thought her being here was fate telling me to talk to her, but I guess not. While she was gone, I had tried calling her and reaching out to her in every way I knew how but she changed her number, deleted anything social media-related, and turned into a ghost.

I've wanted nothing but to be next to her again this past year. Nothing ever filled her void. I was a complete idiot letting her go that night. I promised myself that I'd never let her go again if she gave me a chance.

But judging by her response to seeing me, I doubt I'd ever see that chance. I can't help myself, I roll over and put my arms around her and she flinches. Maybe I shouldn't have. I start to pull away, but I hear a faint whimper from her. So I put my arms back, but just to see if the whimper was because I pulled back, I pull away again, and it’s the same response.

Maybe she does want me to hold her; even if she didn't know it, thats enough for me. Knowing that her subconscious wants me to.

After a while, I pull myself up to look at her face. She’s finally sleeping. I lay back down and pull her in close, closing my eyes and just breathing her in, cherishing every second I have of this. It could be the last.

I wake up the following day in a strange room. I lay still for a moment, trying to figure out how the hell I got here. Then it comes flooding back-Cassie. Where is Cassie? Fuck. I shouldn't have fallen asleep!

But when I go to get up, I feel the weight on my arm and look over. Cassie is snuggled into my shoulder, still sleeping.

Pure relief floods me until I remember the state she was in. How do I bring her out of it? I look down at her and push the hair out of her face. Her eyes flicker a bit before opening. Is she really awake, or is she still in that state of shock?
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