Heaven’s Regrets (Book 1)

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Chapter Eighteen

"Fucking Spinner!" We say in unison.

"He let the Saints pass him and came out unscathed. I don't think that's a coincidence." I stand up, furious. He had put my life in danger multiple times and now Ghost. It's enough.

"Sit your ass down, Cass. You've been through enough. I'll deal with this." My Dad thunders as he strolled out of the office.

My Dad's appearance alone is intimidating. He towers over almost everyone. But hell hath no fury like his temper. That's what makes him stand out. I almost pity the poor souls that piss him off. Then again, they deserve what they get.

"SPINNER, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!" I hear dad bellowing from where I still stand in the office. Here we go. I hold my breath when I hear Spinner speak.

"Right here, boss."

Is he that clueless? I make my way down the hall to get a better view.

Sharp and Bitz are already behind my Dad. I see him turn to them and give a brief order. Sharp and Bitz each take hold of an arm, ripping Spinner off the barstool and pushing him to his knees.

Dad’s pulling his rings off and placing them on the bar top, "I'm only going to ask this once, Spinner." He growls.

I watch as Spinner's eyes bulge and his face pales. Fucking busted.

"It's not what you think, Prez. I can explain!" He pleads.

"Huh. Explain what exactly? I hadn't asked my question." My Dad has that crazy look in his eye, then I hear the most disgusting crunch as my dad's fist connects with Spinner's nose, no doubt breaking it.

Spinner laughs, "That all you got, old man? Guess it's true. You've gone soft."

Another thud echoes through the bar as his fist connects with his jaw this time. The way it’s hanging there, it has to be severely dislocated, most likely broken. It’s a disgusting sight, but I can't turn away.

I move in closer without a thought. I grab one of the handguns in Sharps vest and hand it to my Dad.

"Take 'em out back, boys!" Dad orders.

Soon there’s a crowd surrounding us. My Dad looks over at me, appearing to be deep in thought, then holds the gun out to me.

What?

He leans down level with my ear. "You want the honors doll? It's your life he's fucked with the most."

I glance over at Ghost, who has one hand supporting himself on Chap's shoulder and the other holding his freshly stitched side.

He’s watching me carefully, and I can see him pleading with his eyes telling me not to, but he doesn't know this wasn't the first life I'd be taking. No one but my dad knows. Ghost knows nothing about the year I disappeared, the things I did…

I take the gun from Dad's hand and limp over to Spinner. Bending down, I rip the member patch off his vest.

I take his mangled jaw firmly in my palm, staring him straight in the eyes as he squirms in pain, "You don't deserve to be wearing our patch when you die. This is for what you did to Ghost and me. But more importantly, this is for betraying the Oath, betraying the club." I spit, shoving his face out of my hand. I stand and back away, squaring my shoulders.

"Cass, don't do this. You can't come back from this." I hear Ghost yelling from the crowd.

Ignoring him, I flip the safety off and pull the slide back, pulling the hammer down, I aim dead center on Spinner's forehead.

Then I squeeze the trigger. His lifeless body falls to the ground with a thud. I flip the safety back on, reach over to Sharp's holster, and slid the gun back to its rightful spot.

It’s dead silent as I walk through the crowd, I can feel Ghost's eyes on me, but I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face.

As I walked through the bar, I take a bottle of Jack off the counter and go straight to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

Passing my dresser, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. While I examine the blood splattered on my face, I could understand why Ghost would be upset.

It really does take a piece of you every time. I hate looking in the mirror most days. But today was a little more difficult . I actually thought Spinner was a pretty decent guy. Guess my judge of character isn't the best.

I hop in the shower to wash the blood away hoping it would make me feel even a little better. I watch the blood swirl around the drain, it’s kind of mesmerizing.

I take a swig out of the bottle I had sitting on the tub shelf, feeling it warm my body. I didn't even realize that I’m so cold that I’m shivering. The adrenaline has subsided, now I’m stuck living with another soul I was responsible for taking.

Climbing out of the shower making sure to grab the bottle of Jack, I thread my arms through my Heaven’s Regrets robe and walk out to my room finding Ghost was laying on my bed.

What the hell?

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture Luke." I put the bottle on my nightstand and climb into bed sitting next to Ghost.

"That wasn't your first kill, was it?" He sighs, staring at the ceiling.

"No."

"What the hell Cass? You know damn well any of these guys would take care of that shit for you. There's no reason for you to get your hands dirty." He reaches over, grabbing my hand.

"Ghost, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about." I rip my hand away.

"Why don't you fucking explain it then?" He rolls to his side, closing the small space between us.

"Don't worry about it. It's done with. Just forget about it."

"Like hell, I will. Either you tell me now, or I'm done." He glares at me.

"Oh, surprise, surprise. Ghost doesn't get his way. Now he has to shut down." I scoff.

"Grow the hell up, Cass! Why would I even want to start a relationship riddled with secrets? That's just going to blow up in our faces. Even you have to know that."

Sure, I know that. But how the hell am I supposed to tell him the truth without him hating my guts?

"You wouldn't even want a relationship if you knew." I take another drink from the bottle. "But fine, if you must know. I'm the reason the Saints are so hell-bent on taking me. I was their go-to hired gun the whole year I was gone. All those damn articles and broadcasts about some crazy executioner running loose?" I throw air quotes around the words. "All me, Luke. That's why they want me back. Dad spent that whole damn year trying to bring me back here, but it was pointless. The old Cassie is gone. I'm just living in her body. I only decided to come back because the next hit on the list was my Dad, and I knew there was never any coming back from that. As luck would have it, Bitz happened to offer me a job around the time. Made it easier to come back."

Silence. Deafening silence. I knew it'd drive the last nail in our coffin. He gets up and walks out without a word. Fair enough, I'd love to walk away from me, too.

I end up finishing the bottle and I’m just about to make my way down to the bar for another, but I forgot I was still in a damn robe. I throw on a black Heaven’s Regret tank top on and some denim shorts, good enough.

Making my way down the stairs, I stop dead in my tracks when I see fucking club slut Cathy hanging all over Ghost. He was returning the affections, too, of course. I know I shouldn’t speak of the girls like that, and for the most part I don’t. Cathy, was the exception though. She wears the title proudly, too.

What a shock. I knew his promises were bullshit. They always were. Two can play that game, though, and if I'm honest, it had been far too long since I've slept with anyone.

I just wonder what poor soul would be brave enough to come near me after watching me shoot a man point-blank in the face.

Shaking my head at myself, I make it the rest of the way to the bar. There’s plenty of new guys hanging around with all the Chapters being here. But can I let myself go there?

I find a spot at the bar by my brothers. "I'll just take a Jack and Coke," I say to whatever prospect is working.

I stopped bothering to learn their names until they’re sworn in. Even then, hell, I probably don't know half the new member's names. The club was picking up this summer for whatever reason.

I grab my drink off the bar, taking a sip. Looking around, I realize just how many members I don’t know, so much has changed while I was gone.

It just dawns on me that no other women are wearing the patch. I can't be the only born female member, right?

I’m so focused on trying to find another woman wearing the patch I don’t even notice the creep that came up next to me.
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