This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
The moonlight shines through the crack in the door, I know I should close it, but I can’t move from this position. The door opens wider letting out an eerie scream, my ghost like fingers shine in the moon. If you ever saw me, you surely would scream, I am hideous, head to toe.
Like now, as I sit in the corner of my shed type thing, I glow, not in a good way. My hair is unkempt and lays down my back, have bruises and four scars on my face, not to mention the birthmark over my shoulder to my lower back. The only source of colour I have is my deep blue eyes and soft pinks lips. Even my hair was ugly, all long and lifeless. I peer at the mansion through my draping hair and lashes.
The crisp woods creaks as I crawl over and look at the mansion, in all glory made my home look like nothing other than a crappy shed. And I don’t mean a tiny home, I mean, it’s an actual shed. Made from stone and logs cut and covered with cement leading to the wooden roof. The mansion was dim except for the third floor, Satan's cave. The thought of him makes my heart clench and I close the door and cower against the wall. Don’t do it Aria, don’t think about it.
Don't do it to yourself.
But I do, it all comes down like rain. I am being showered in my own self-hate. My fingers laced through my hair “stop it” My voice quiet as I remember what happened last night. That’s when it happens, Tears line my eyes and I bury my face in between my legs “s-stop” they whisper words in my head, rattling around like marbles in a bowl. “Please stop it” I beg to myself looking at the mansion, please, for the love of god, don’t hear me. The voices keep screaming and now I am screaming “s-shut up!”
The now bright light flickers on, I bang my head against the stone bricks “shush” I whisper “stop it!” That demon voice makes my toes curl, like claws dragging down a chalk board.
"Shush” I whisper again watching the door through the small gap where the light wedges through but they don’t stop. Then the door opens, the back door of the mansion. I crawl back to my bed like thing “shush” I beg again. He's coming, he's coming for me.
I keep watching now with small tears running down my face, I can’t breathe. Practically gasping for breath, I feel like I may die.
My head smacks into the wall “stop it!” Anxiety attacks, plus screaming voices, plus satan coming for you, not a good mix. I stop when my door opens, the dark looming shadow looks down at me “get up” he hisses, I can’t move, I'm shaking to much “I said get up!” He grabs my arms.
Oh no, please don’t. In the light, they line his face, his dark brown eyes, bed hair standing on his head, then sharp jawline where anyone would cut their finger on, he glares darkly at me before pushing me outside. Now, I know what comes next. His hand hits me hard on the cheek and I collapse onto the ground. My skeleton like figure hangs onto my dress and he kicks me in the stomach. Now on my back he looks down at me, I don’t cry, because that makes it worse “now, Aria” he cracks his knuckles making me flinch.
“If I come back out here again” I crawl away as he grabs my shoulders “I swear to god, I will rip your tongue out.”
I stand there weak as a feather “y-yes sir,” I say as loud as my voice will go. He then pushes me down again. Kicking my back then walking back to the mansion, that gentleman who has beaten me to a pulp, is my father.
Charles Timothy Blackwell. I pick myself up off the ground looking at the dark mansion as I dust off my skirt. He slams the back door so hard I could feel the ground shake. I wish my mother was here, I turn towards the shed when my eyes meet with another pair. At first, I wanted to run, but curiosity brought me closer, the barb wire fence loops around the metal that is secured to the ground about my waist height. The eyes look up and I jump. They’re purple, the eyes lead to a galaxy like place “he-hello?” My shaky voice says calmly “is someone there?”
The eyes or whatever they are, close then nothing.
What the hell? I walk backwards hoping to see the eyes, but nothing happens, with a sigh I turn around and smack into the door, I lay in the itchy grass staring at the sky, my head is killing me. I try to find the strength to move but end up sleeping right there in the grass.
“Aria” I open my eyes very slowly.
“Get up, your father needs his breakfast” Anna says helping me up, now Anna, was a family friend, she knew my mother, and my grandmother, she was old and a worked in the mansion only Sundays though, other days she was god knows where. She tilts my head up and hands me water “hurry my dear” I stand up a little-unbalanced and I trot towards the back doors.
Then enter the kitchen, there is the tray. Everything cooked to perfection, I wish I could eat something, I try to hurry up but these legs are like toothpicks and can barely help me stand.
Instead of knocking like I should have, I open the door, to a woman, who I have never seen before laying almost naked in his bed she cringes “who are you?” She says in some sort of accent I can’t put my finger on. I stutter on my words and leave the tray in the small drawer before me “I-I am so sorry” I begin to leave but then she calls out “Charlie, your slave interrupted” I shake my head, the door opens and he looks the same as last night carrying that look of hate.
My father glared deathly at me “I-I a-m so sorry” I leave the tray on the table and calmly walk out praying he will ignore my grave mistake. I was wrong once I heard him staunching behind me cursing my name he grabbed a fist full of my hair and tugs me back harshly.
I yelp out quietly not wanting to draw attention “you stupid girl, what the hell are you thinking?!”
I opened my mouth to speak but his appearance brought tears to my eyes “I-I” he slammed a fist beside me making me jump.
“Answer me!” He shouted and I winced.
“I w-was bringing your breakfast a-and I forgot to knock.” His brown eyes growing black as he gripped my wrist “get out of my sight” he threw me hard against the wall and walked away.
Wait until he is out of sight before running off, now I know I am not meant to go into the woods but I am not staying in there a moment longer. My skirt catches on the fence I pull it off and run further until I reach the centre of it all. My knees buckle and give up on me, I hold myself up with my weak arms staring into the darkness of the woods, then up to the laughing trees.
They whistle and laugh as the wind rips through them.
I hate him so much, to anyone it would seem like a discipline thing but I see it a line of hate. He once cut open my lips because interrupted him, that I know is not normal. The top of the mansion is visible still. That place holds too many memories for one girl to carry, I pick myself up from the ground “death would be less painful” I mumble.
“Don’t be so sure” I gasp at the boy in front of me.
Alex Reltin: This is a great story! I love how well you go into detail and emotions of Capri, and Mel. You have amazing dialogue and overall it's just a thrill to read!The only critique I could find is that some of the paragraphs should be separated. For example:-"If Nia would have just let me take the car an...
tyleroakleyfan: thank you for writing this story I loved it. it was great I enjoyed every minute of it I couldn't stop reading you did a fantastic job. Thanks for killing ron he was starting to piss me off. he was being a dick. I love that you made it a gay love story its about time someone did. love it great job.
Jessie: I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.
Ashley Stryker: So I'm writing this review, keeping in mind that this is a work in progress and it's part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so my "deeper" critiques will be saved until it's all finished up.+ Chapter One: A stewardess would not talk to anyone quite like that, particularly a clear minor...
M.L. Bull: Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...
Alex Rushmer: Although I don't know the story of the Phantom of the Opera, I really enjoyed this story. The writing was very evocative, and it really put a picture of time and setting in my mind. The voice of the story really added to the character development. The idea of the time travelling -- or whatever re...
Alex Rushmer: This was not what I expected, but I enjoyed it a lot Malfoy was always one of the characters that I liked a lot, so I like that a lot of this happens between him and Colette. I read the first couple chapters, and I enjoyed your writing style and am excited to see where you take this story. My com...
Jordan Young: *ALERT FOR POSSIBLE SPOILERS* Where to start? I don't know how to sum up this review, this story was absolutely sensational. Brilliant. Flawless. I loved every single bit of this story, it is truly amazing. I read this story in fifteen hours, it is magnificent. I loved everything about it, the p...
PaulSenkel: If you like Arthur C. Clarke's Odyssey, especially The Final Odyssey, then you will probably also enjoy this book. I definitely did.It does, however, address a more adolescent public than the above-mentioned book.I enjoyed the story and finished it in a few days. The overall situation on earth an...
LouiseJ2: I enjoyed the detail you went into with regards to the case. It made the UNSUB appear believable. The crisis in the middle of the story was my favorite part, very dramatic but not over the top. I feel like sometimes pairings can be overdone but I liked that some of the relationships were a little...
FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"
Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."