So sweet and so alluring, yet so familiar.
…But where? Where is it coming from?
My head. It’s spinning.
Everything is spinning…
…And what’s this feeling? Is this—is this moisture?
I feel… wet. A cooling, wet feeling, but I also feel warmth.
What—what happened? Where—where am I…
I suddenly shot up from the ground, gasping and choking for air, as my lungs burned from the sudden reintroduction to oxygen. I struggled as my mind attempted to comprehend my current situation, as if I had been forcefully awakened from an extremely deep sleep. I also suddenly realized that my mouth tasted of metal and was terribly dry.
“Wha—what the fuck happened?! Ahhh, my head. My head is pounding…” I said loudly as I placed my hand against my forehead and rubbed my eyes.
Little by little, I noticed things about myself and my predicament as my senses became overloaded by my own body and my surroundings.
“Why—why am I all wet?” I said in confusion as I felt my drenched clothes stick against my skin.
“…And wait—why am I outside?!”
My eyes and ears began to focus as I scanned around the wet, dark alleyway that I had somehow ended up in. I peered upwards into the dark, cloudy sky that loomed above.
What happened?! How did I end up in a place like this?!
I continued investigating the environment around me in befuddlement until I heard police sirens wailing loudly in the distance. It sounded as if the sirens were getting ever closer as the piercing noise reverberated from the nearby streets throughout the narrow alleyway. For some odd reason, the sirens were like a trigger to a long, forgotten memory that had been forced to the very back of my brain. Yet, this memory was only a foggy haze. It was like searching for a thought that was on the tip of your tongue but could not be pulled forward no matter how hard you tried.
Sirens. Sirens. Why is this sound so familiar…? So loud. So piercing. Almost like a gunshot going off in my ears—
Suddenly, the fogged memories within my mind became instantly cleared as the events of the night came hurdling back to me. My eyes widened as I gasped at my realization.
“Wait! I’m—I was dead! How…? I’m still—alive?” I asked myself as I frantically searched around.
I then hastily investigated my clothing that was soaked in blood and water. I could see the small holes within my shirt where the bullets had torn through the fabric and penetrated my body. Yet… when I searched my chest, I found no injuries or scars. In fact, my body showed no signs of my entire night whatsoever.
There’s no way! How is that even possible?!
I—remember. I know those bullets when through me. I couldn’t—I remember I couldn’t breathe. I was dying!
Could it have all been a dream…?
There’s just no possible way…
I sat there searching my mind for answers, but the more I tried the more confused I became. I became lost within a daze, attempting to wrap my mind around the fact that I had somehow miraculously escaped from death. However, my mind was instantaneously brought back to reality as I heard the distant echoes of the police storming the inside of the club. I felt my muscles tense at the thought of the police finding me. For some odd reason, I felt it was necessary to get as far away from this area as quickly as possible. The idea of trying to explain everything to the police seemed to fill me with fear. Not only was I not understanding of my own situation, but I was doubtful that the cops would be able to comprehend it any better than I could.
At that thought, I hastily rose to my feet and began to run through the narrow alleyway until I reached the street. My mind overloaded with jumbled ideas of possible places I could safely escape to.
I definitely can’t go home. Not only would my mom completely lose her shit at the sight of me covered in blood, but I highly doubt that anyone in general would take it well. Which means, I can’t take a taxi or the subway to go anywhere. But I need to find somewhere to stake out for the time being. Just until I can figure—all of this—out.
I leaned against the wall as I searched for any nearby people wandering the streets while trying to remain unseen. I glanced up and down the street, my mind swirling with panic-stricken thoughts, as I tried to come up with a plan. Once I felt confident enough that I wouldn’t be seen, I ran out of the alleyway and into the street while trying to avoid bumping into the tight lineup of parked cars on the edge of the sidewalk. Yet, as I squeezed through the cars, I felt something cut deep into my side as I forced my way through.
“Ah, fuck!” I screamed as I instinctively lifted my shirt and looked down at the deep new wound.
I stared at the cut as fresh blood slowly filled the wound and dripped down my side. However, within a matter of seconds before my very eyes the wound miraculously closed and completely healed itself, as if the wound had never existed.
“What—what the hell am I?! What is going on?!”
My thoughts spun as I stared with wide eyes at the perfectly healed skin.
This can’t be real. Am I just dreaming? There’s no way anyone could survive being shot in the chest like that, let alone instantly heal from a cut like that. What the fuck is going on?!
I quickly turned my head towards the alleyway as I heard police approaching my direction.
Fuck! I’ve gotta get out of here!
I quickly pulled myself together and tried running across the street to avoid detection. However, I did not notice the car speeding down the one-way street in my direction, until it began blaring its horn. In response, I immediately froze in place, like a deer in headlights, staring in horror as the car barreled towards me. I reactively tensed my body as I closed my eyes, waiting to be inevitably struck by the speeding vehicle. Luckily however, the car came to a screeching halt, stopping right before hitting me.
The driver rolled down their window and angrily screamed out at me. “WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!! YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?!”
I opened my eyes and saw the driver poking her head out the open window as she furiously swung her fist while swearing. I quickly snapped out of my fearful daze and stumbled to the side of the street as I awkwardly called out to the driver.
“Oh, uh. S—sorry about that!”
The woman glared at me as she rolled up her window, then the car engine revved and sped off down the street. I remained silent as I stood there, staring off into the distance where the car driven off to. My heart pounding away as I took deep breaths.
Pull yourself together, Jace. You’re losing it. You need to remain calm and watch where you’re going before you end up getting hurt.
Then, a sudden, cryptic thought entered my mind.
But…would I even get hurt? What if that car had instead just completely run me over? Cracked every bone in my body, and just absolutely crushed me like a pancake. Would it even had mattered? Would I have just walked away from it all, completely unscathed?
I shook my head and tried to erase that thought from my mind.
“Stop it, Jace. Don’t think like that.” I said out loud as I felt a chill run down my spine.
I carried myself onto the sidewalk and walked towards the end of block, looking for a place I could hideaway into while I gathered my thoughts. As I looked around, my senses began to tingle as a very enticing fragrance slowly permeated my nostrils. It was very subtle at first, but it slowly became stronger and invaded my thoughts.
“What’s that—amazingly sweet—smell? It’s so… alluring.” I mumbled to myself as I became drawn to the smell.
It was as if the unknown fragrance was calling to me, and only me; begging me to follow its trail. My body tingled as goosebumps arose throughout every inch of my skin. My mind clouded as everything around me suddenly became a daze. My mouth felt incredibly parched as I attempted unsuccessfully to rewet my mouth as I swallowed only air.
“I’m just—I’m so thirsty. So thirsty.” I mumbled in a trance-like state.
The scent beckoned me, as I slowly followed. My body seemingly advanced on its own, unable to deny the temptation that called to me. I slowly crossed another street and walked along the sidewalk until I reached the end of the block. I turned the corner and continued forward until I met another long, dark, and narrow alleyway. The fragrance grew stronger, and so did its hold on my inhibitions, as I calmly strolled through the alley. I could vaguely hear a voice calling out, but it sounded almost too distant in my mind to comprehend. Eventually, I reached the dead end of the alley where I found the source of the unusual smell.
There, among the piles of filled garbage bags, lay a man calling out for help with a frail voice. His breathing was raspy and irregular, and his hands were clasped firmly over his stomach as large amounts of blood seeped through them. Even within my dazed state, I could tell that the man had been aggressively stabbed and was left here for death. I stopped as I approached him, and he weakly raised his head just enough to notice my presence.
“Please… help. Please… help me.” He mumbled. “My wife… my kids… I can’t…”
My mouth became increasingly more parched as I licked my lips in response. My heart began to race, pounding away violently within my chest. I once again felt the goosebumps throughout my body as a chill ran down my spine.
So… thirsty. Just so incredibly thirsty.
The enticing fragrance screamed my name as I knelt before the man and slowly reached for his face.
So. Thirsty. I need. To drink.
Suddenly, like instinct, I pulled the man’s head forward and bit firmly into his neck. My teeth dug deep within his skin, letting blood flow wildly into my mouth. The man moaned and yelped in response. He weakly struggled to free himself from my embrace, but I easily overpowered him as I held tightly to his head as I gulped the warm liquid.
This feeling and this sweet, fulfilling taste. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before in my life. It was like encountering an addiction I never knew I had. My body was acting on its own, guiding me into an ecstatically arousing experience that I never wanted to end. I could feel my entire body shiver with delight as I dried the body of all its blood.
However, it wasn’t long before the pleasurable moment ended, and my mind reached full clarity. In response, I immediately let go of the man and stumbled back in fear. My thoughts raced as I suddenly came to realize what I had done.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” I screamed as I pulled myself away from the limp body.
I aggressively wiped my face and looked at the blood that covered my hands. My stomach turned at the horrifying sight. I could not bring myself to believe what had just happened. My eyes darted in every direction as I searched for answers.
What the fuck am I?!
What—what have I done?!
I quickly rose to my feet as I stared at the lifeless body. I began to breathe rapidly while my heart pounded furiously.
I… I killed him.
I killed someone!!
I’m—I’m just like that gunman!!
I’m a murderer!!
I took an innocent man’s life!!
As my thoughts continued to race, I felt my legs give out as I fell to the ground. The image of the motionless body burned into my mind as I stared with wide eyes.
What the fuck have I done?!
I’m a monster…
I’M A MONSTER!!