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Chapter 31 : Understanding

"Hey,” I look up at him, he looked so different. For one he was much taller and has muscle now, his dark curly hair, has bin boozed, he has small silver studs, and that evil grin that made me shiver under my covers and lock my door at night was gone, and replaced with a gentle smile.

And not to mention he’s wearing a turtleneck. Like, who is this guy?

“Um, you wanna go talk outside?”

“Sure, I was nervous, not because I was afraid, but because I wasn’t. We walked outside to that backyard, Kai slid the back door closed then stood beside me, but not too close. We stared at the tree that we all loved to climb in and also the fluffy snow that covered it like a forbidden blanket. There was an awkward silence between us before Kai broke it.

“I’m sorry.” He said. I looked at him surprised.

“Why? you were sick.”

“I can’t keep using that excuse anymore, I knew exactly what I was doing when I skipped therapy and flushed my pills down the toilet, and I hurt you because you were the weakest target near me-”

“It’s ok,” I say cutting him off on his rant.



Kai’s door is cracked open and I looked inside. He sat at the edge of his bed and stared at the floor with a blank stare. When he’s on the medicine that the doctor gives him usually he acts like this, almost like a rag doll.

I walked into his room and sat on his bed and rested my head on his shoulder. Me and my brother don’t really get along but it doesn’t mean that I don’t like him, sometimes I wish he knew that.

“They make me feel numb,” Kai started. I looked at him and asked.

“What does?”

“The pills, I hate um, it’s like if someone took all your emotions and hid them in the back of your mind where I can’t find them.”

“If they make you feel that way then why don’t you stop taking them?” He looked at me with tears welling up in his eyes.

“I wish I could,”


“You didn’t like the way they made you feel.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Well you know, at least not all of our memories are bad.”

“Yeah,” he said, looking at the ground with a smile appearing on his lips. ” Remember the time we went chasing after the neighbour’s dog?”

“Oh yeah. I caught him by the leash but he kept running.”

“You were dragged through the mud.”

“And you couldn’t just leave me, so you went running after us.” we had a good laugh about that, it’s probably one of our favourite memories together.

“So what are you doing these days?” I asked

“I’m in the Navy.” how was taken aback by that. “I enlisted when I turned 19, mom was so mad that I didn’t go to college, but I thought it was cool.

“Wow, really?”


“Did you have like a big Bazookas or something?”

“No, but I did use an MAI carbine, you wanna see a picture?” Kai asked

“Hell yeah!” I said excited


Lovey, Isaac, Erin and I got back to the hotel we're staying at. My therapist said to get out of my comfort zone, not sleep in hell, but Val David and his kids are staying there.

"Sooo, how was it."

"Was what?" I say all muffled since I'm brushing my teeth.

"Did you make up with your parents?" I turned to give Isaac the look. "Did you at least try?" I take my toothbrush out of my mouth and spit the foamy toothpaste in the sink.

"Isaac, I'm not the one that should be making peace, they should."

"You sound childish."

"And you sound like someone that doesn't want sex for a week."

"I never said that."

"Oh really? well, that's what I'm hearing."

"Ok, fine, I'm sorry," Isaac said holding me by the waist.

"Well speaking of my parents. how did it go with my dad?"

"Isaac. let it go, and mind your own damn business." I said then walked back into our room for the next few days.

"Were still having sex tonight? right?." He said calling after me, I rolled my eyes.

Author’s note

This chapter was dedicated to one of my followers Jaylene1127. Thank you for that suggestion in this chapter.

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