This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
Bell is ringing, indication of closing ceremony, an ordinary routine of the daily school.
Packed of elementary children walk out from different classrooms, and some of those kiddies approach their waiting parents, relatives, or friends. Among them a boy, happy while showing his paper as he speaks to his father, “I’ve gotten a high marks this day father. Look at my papers.
“See all ninety six and above dash A.”
Some of the people who recognize this boy want to cry.
Almost of his classmates can’t do a thing but stare.
Not even a word his father replies.
“Father, I keep my mark high. Mother told me when I’m grown successful like you, I can buy anything I want. Including a car for you.” Couldn’t help but being happy, the boy runs to the playground.
He sits to one of the chair. He has took out papers, paste, and scissors from his bag. After he has finished creating a flat helicopter, he hovers this above his head. “Look, father. Trug tug tug tug. You want a helicopter?”
Outside the fence while carrying her parasol, the boy’s mother wants to cry. She goes near to his son and she speaks, “How’s your day with your school.”
“Mother!” The boy runs and hugs her mother. “I’m fine. As always, I receive good marks.”
“That’s good then…
“Let’s go home, I’ll cook you a good meal.”
“Okay! Okay. What about father?”
“Don’t worry.” She smiles as she wipes some tears on her eyes. “He’s always watching on us.”
The boy packs up things.
He and his mother chat as they walk in the pathway going home.
Alex Rushmer: Chapter One: Not much is happening in this chapter, but I was absolutely fascinated by the depth of your character development. I love how you just sat there with the reader and explored Eddward. Usually, that sort of thing gets boring very fast, but this was actually really cool! He's so unique ...
Alkira Joan: amazing story and plot, you just need to work on re reading and punctuation and gramma .'.........................................................................................................,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,..,.,.,..,.,..,.,.,.
Cassie Jacobson: So many twists and turns. Keeps you wanting to read to see what happens next. The main character is detailed well. The struggles and growth of Joby makes you admire her. It gives you a proud satisfied feeling while reading it. A refreshing difference then most books out there today, and in a w...
ernbelle: When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...
allisonflin: Without a doubt the most well written story that I have read on this site. Informative, discriptive, well punctuated. Then we have the story itself, which by the way I am waiting on the edge of my seat for part two of, the characters are more than likeable, you feel them and their emotions...
ryder: This is an excellent read. From beginning to end the author showed his creative and imaginative writing skills. Twists and turns, surprises, humor, and sorrow: This book has it all. I strongly recommend this book, and I am already recommending it to my friends.
annie08c: I really like this story, I can relate to it a lot and with how she feels, the boyfriend and the events that happened but I'm a little bit younger. It was really good plot, really liked how you stuck to the topic and you had a new title for every chapter making me guess what's going to happen. Ma...
RodRaglin: Your writing is very good, Rachel, but remember you also have to entertain the reader and in that regard it's a bit sparse in action and dialogue.Consider when revising...When starting a new story always consider your protagonist's Goal - what they want; Motivation - why they want it; and, Confli...
Laraine Smith: My only suggestion on the grammar is to use www.grammarcheck.net. I have it bookmarked on Google Chrome. I see myself in the determination in this beautiful story! I have Cerebral Palsy, and I have dreams that I have been working hard for, too! The humor made me laugh!