Been Beaten, Been Broken.

You see, I always looked grown for my age. I grew tits at the age of 12 and never looked back from there forward.

Neither did the guys.

I have an older brother. Two year numerical difference, I’ve always been the one who looks older, acts older, and honestly is believed to be older.

This concept wasn’t a friend of my brothers. But it sure was to his friends.

His name was Jordan Schabacker.

Oh Jor Jor,

How sweet and dear you are to my heart. You were the very very VERY beginning to an end. My end if you want to be technical. You might not have been whom introduced me to drugs. But you sure were a God sent influence. You’re such a piece of shit. And I loved it, later on in life I discovered that it was my unlaying daddy issues. But I was 14. So what can I say? You meant the world.

And so when you were found trying to pry open my bedroom window late at night while on the run from the police, it was a little strange of you to do. Or course I didn’t think so back then. But I’m an adult now, or at least supposed to be one, so now I understand it’s a bit out of society’s Norms for you a 16 year old to be breaking into my room. Especially while I was a sleep.

I probably should thank my parents for the restraining order they took out on you. Except not too much cuz I ended up with some minor trauma from it.

You broke the restraint order. I’m not sure why but you sure did, and then it become public. Showed people in person, screen shot it and sent it to others. And then of course because humanity no longer is a thing in this fucked off world. The people you showed continued the trend by showing others who than showed others.

Anyways, by the time I was back in school, everyone had become super enraged that it was my fault you had to move out of town. Which then of course meant your little brother in my grade also had to leave. Your friends were mad. Your little brothers friends were mad. Friends of their friends or whatever the fuck. Point being, everyone found out what you said to me.

And they found a way to get their own revenge on me for it.

You had told me to “drown in bleach”.

Sure teenagers are weird and think everything is funny. Sure teenagers are the most of the immature creatures of all. And sure some people still might laugh as they read this, but to me it wasn’t. It hurt my feelings. And it changed my life’s circumstances. I had to move out of town. And I had already moved back and forth between my parents so much that I had grown so tired of it over the years.

That’s besides the point, let me get back on track here.

When you told me to drown in bleach, kids were awful and one day when I was walking to the school bus after soon had just let out it really showed just how cruel children could be. I remember at first getting shouldered by people. Over and over again, like they just didn’t see me at all. But then eventually some of the kids Lao had a side gift for me.

Travel size bottles of anything are usually so adorable to me. But these little travel sized bottles were horrifying.

Travel sized bottles of bleach were thrown at ane. Just a repeated loop of tiny bleach bottle thumping against my skin. Shit sucked.

Some would whisper for me to drown in bleach cause they weren’t as brave as the ones who just recklessly yelled that shit.

After that day my mom was so fed up with me crying. And I ended up having to do all the rest of my classes in the assistant principal office. And you know what’s worst than that having to stay in the actual principals office. Which I ended up having to do as well when people really wouldn’t leave me alone.

And then the big boom hit. And you were gone for good after this last trick you pulled….

Actually successfully breaking into my room and stealing every single pair of panties. Regardless if I’ve worn them or not. They were gone. And I was than officially creeped out. I was scared to sleep in my bed. I was scared to be in my house alone. Why did you take my underwear anyways??

Was it an attachment issue?

Was it a pervert issue?

What was it…?