{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copies left
You can choose from our best books below
AussieNick would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

I Never Learn

By AussieNick All Rights Reserved ©

Drama

Blurb

The final confessions of a teenager with no hopes or dreams, a teenager among thousands with no hope.

Chapter 1

Getting out of bed in the morning is hard. I feel comfortable under the covers, and the idea of forcing myself up for another pointless, stress-filled day makes me feel sick. Still, I clamber out of bed. I usually don't get much sleep at night; I can't get to sleep until around midnight. Then I regret it in the morning by sleeping in and rushing to get ready for school. No matter how many times this happens, I never learn.

School is hell. The classes are boring, and I wish I could stop trying to care about them. Things are different from when I was little. In primary school, you could go through the work without caring all that much. All we had to do was follow the rules. Now it's different. I'm at the age where nobody's going to hold my hand and do things for me. I have to manage life myself now, but I don't feel motivated to do so. I've got people I talk to every day, but I don't think I can confide in them. Maybe I'm just too proud to admit I've got problems, but I always end up in the same cycle of hating myself and feeling slightly better afterwards. No matter how many times this cycle repeats, I never change. I never learn.

Then I go home, where I feel even more lonely. At least at school, I had something to distract me. Something to numb the pain. At home I have nothing. I sit around on my computer all day, hardly making conversation with my parents. Life is just so boring, that I don't know what to say to them. As for my extended family, forget it. I hardly see them, and looking at them is like looking through a lens. I see them as just strangers who I see occasionally. Maybe if I tried to make conversation, pretend to be interested in my own life, things would be different. But of course, I never learn.

I feel trapped in this world. Sometimes I feel like I have breathing room, but by the end of the day all the pain is back. I wish it would choke the life out of me so that I don't have to keep going anymore. I know that if I put the effort in, maybe I can get through this, but I don't have the energy. No matter how bad things get, I never learn.

But finally, I've done it! I never thought I was capable of it, but I know I'm not dream as I lie on my side, my body curled around the knife lodged in my belly. Blood, dark and red and warm, spreads around me. I suddenly think of everyone who's had to deal with me, and wonder how they'll react. Will they feel sad for me, or will they not care at all? Either way, they'll get over me and go on with their lives free of pain and sorrow.

I suddenly begin to cry. I don't want to die like this, alone and bleeding, but it's too late. What's done is done.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to everyone, as if they can hear me. "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough."

I've got the note tucked away in my pocket. Hopefully someone will find. They'll search my body, right? Once I'm found? I hope so. I put a lot of effort into that letter.

I suddenly wish I could take it back. Wish I'd never picked up that knife. Wish I could have just one day to come clean and tell the truth. Maybe I'd feel less alone. I make a vain attempt to reach for the door, to drag myself outside where someone can see me. But it's too late. I let out one last sob, angry at myself for regretting my last decision. I'm pathetic. I should be proud of myself. I've done the only thing I can do to stop hurting people, but I'm so selfish that I now regret it.

As I feel the life literally draining out of me, I have one final thought; I'll never learn.



Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, AussieNick
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

christylynnr5: Wow. I've never read a book like this. Its very intense and keeps you reading. I loved the way everything slowly adds up to belle and Eli falling inlove. This book was truly amazing. There better be a second book!!! That was a huge cliffhanger that I cannot settle for.

emmaneal74: I loved this booked. Would definitely buy it when published and read it again. The story flowed in such a way I just couldn't put it down. I was never confused about the characters or their roles in the story which can happen sometimes with so many lead. I'd recommend this to anyone wanting to r...

Laraine Smith: My only suggestion on the grammar is to use www.grammarcheck.net. I have it bookmarked on Google Chrome. I see myself in the determination in this beautiful story! I have Cerebral Palsy, and I have dreams that I have been working hard for, too! The humor made me laugh!

csimesser1: If you love a biker romance with a lot of drama then this book is for you. Some of the plot was very predictable but there was plenty of twists to keep you reading. I could not stop reading it

Isha Chaudhari: Amazing book ...the most beautiful part is the kind of relationship Carla has with Peter. However, the epilogue was the one that surprised me the Most....Carla getting married to Peter....when in the book her relationship is mostly discussed with Ridian.Was a bit confusing thus.Lovable book that ...

ryder: This is an excellent read. From beginning to end the author showed his creative and imaginative writing skills. Twists and turns, surprises, humor, and sorrow: This book has it all. I strongly recommend this book, and I am already recommending it to my friends.

christylynnr5: This was such an amazing story!!! It showed newly found friendship slowly developed into love. The story never got boring and always had drama happening to keep you reading. I would defiantly recommend this to anyone who loves a good love story!

Alex Rushmer: Chapter One: Not much is happening in this chapter, but I was absolutely fascinated by the depth of your character development. I love how you just sat there with the reader and explored Eddward. Usually, that sort of thing gets boring very fast, but this was actually really cool! He's so unique ...

allisonflin: Without a doubt the most well written story that I have read on this site. Informative, discriptive, well punctuated. Then we have the story itself, which by the way I am waiting on the edge of my seat for part two of, the characters are more than likeable, you feel them and their emotions...

More Recommendations

LouiseJ2: I enjoyed the detail you went into with regards to the case. It made the UNSUB appear believable. The crisis in the middle of the story was my favorite part, very dramatic but not over the top. I feel like sometimes pairings can be overdone but I liked that some of the relationships were a little...

zoheusher20: What more can I say? The writing style and little details drew me into the book and for the entirety of the story I was Juliet. I felt her turmoil and emotions and every trouble or triumph as they arrived. This story was very different and had quite a few little but unexpected twists that made it...

ElusiveBadwolf: This book was so beautiful to read. I loved how Lizzy was finishing Hayden's list off for he self couldn't complete it and now she is learning to move on. In the end i cried, because i couldn't think about moving on if i was in her position. And how she had forgiven him by not being there with he...

christylynnr5: This was beyond amazing! I loved this book. The characters seemed so real. It was amazing how the author let Zak and Kaylees personalities slowly change. This story was very sad and eye opening. It could teach some people a very worthy lesson. It was a great combination of romance, mystery, and a...

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.