The truck in front of me wasn’t slowing down anytime soon. It was heading for me. My hands froze on the steering wheel as the headlights got brighter and closer. I couldn’t move. The pace at which my heart was beating increased. I couldn’t even try to stop myself or pass around it. I was completely frozen. The truck didn’t stop it just went on as though I was invisible.
Siren Siren Siren
My eyes flickered open but all I could see was complete blur. Nothing more. The sound of the siren didn’t stop. I saw three figures sitting beside me. I couldn’t identify my surroundings. I felt like I was slowly slipping away. I was afraid to close my eyes. I thought that if I did then I would never open them again.
Each breath I took felt like it was going to be the last. I felt like the oxygen was not enough. I felt like I was trapped in a tiny box with no way to get out. It was so scary. Feeling like you’re going to die. Without ever having the chance to tell the people you love how much you care about them and how much they mean to you. To make it worse, the last conversation you had with them was a fight where you told them how much you hate them and how useless they are to you.
I took one last breath...
Two weeks later
My eyes flickered open, my brain trying to process the image before me. My vision was blurry but I managed to see a tall figure dressed in white standing a few feet away from me. I couldn’t move my body. I felt like I was being chained down to the bed. Each time I tried to pull myself up, I was pulled back down like there was a magnet underneath the bed. I gave up and laid back down.
I couldn’t remember anything. All I could remember was the sound of sirens. Nothing else. The figure in white approached me “Hello. Can you see me?” the man spoke waving his palm over my eyes. I coughed shaking my head in return. “Where am I?” I said trying to sit up but it was useless.
“Don’t worry. Just calm down. You’re in the hospital. It is going to take you quite a while for you to gain full consciousness.” He said and my shoulders relaxed a bit. “What happened to me? Why am I here?” I asked still feeling uneasy on the fact that I didn’t know why I was here.
“You’ll know everything. Just be patient and trust the process.”
he said in a calm unbothered tone.
It irritated me. Everything about this place irritated me. I wanted to leave immediately. I couldn’t remember anything. I remembered my name and family members. I just couldn’t remember how I ended up here.
I heard a woman’s voice “Is she awake? I need to see her.” She cried out. I immediately identified her voice as my mother’s. “Ma’am I am telling you. You can’t come in.” I heard a high pitched voice yell.
“It’s okay. Let her in.” The man who was with me earlier sighed. “Oh my God. Kora you’re alright.” She said and I felt her warm hands embrace me. I felt a warm liquid against my neck and I heard her sniffle but I didn’t understand why she was crying.
“She hasn’t fully stabilized. It will take some time for her to fully heal from the accident.” He explained to my mother who finally pulled away from the hug. With my voice shaky as I trembled I asked “Mum, what accident?” I couldn’t remember anything about an accident. I remembered the sirens and things began to make sense but just a little.
“Honey I think it’s best that you don’t know. Just for now. Right now you have to get better first.” She said stroking my hair back “How can I get better yet I don’t even know what the hell happened to me?” I asked impatiently.
Sniffling, she got up and said “The doctors said that they would recommend you a good therapist to help you with everything.”
I huffed but didn’t utter a word. She gave me a quick hug before leaving. I felt so confused since I couldn’t even see anything in the first place. I laid my head back and tried to breathe for a moment. Everything was happening way quicker than I expected.
I heard someone walk towards me “Have you ever been in therapy?” he asked. “Yes. It sucked.” I shut my eyes since it was useless keeping them open.
“So I called the optician he’s going to help you with your vision.” I heard him say. “I thought this is temporary. Isn’t it?” I asked opening my eyes again.
“It’s supposed to be. If in few hours you can’t see, you’re going to need glasses or lenses to help boost your vision.” He explained. “Can you at least tell me how long I’ve been here?” I sighed.
“You’ve been here for two weeks.” He said and I wasn’t sure whether to be scared or not care. I was really scared. Two weeks. Two whole weeks. “We put you in a medically induced coma because of the injuries you underwent from the accident” I wasn’t listening. When he said I was in coma, I immediately imagined my body lying there lifeless for two weeks.
I sat in the therapist’s office with my brand new thick black framed glasses waiting for her to get my file so that she could help me ‘cope’ with any possible traumas.
She found it and her smile grew “Kora right?” she asked and I nodded with a sarcastic smile. “Are there any specific concerns you would like to address before we go on with the session?” she asked with flashing another one of her bright smiles.
I shook my head. I sat there curled up with my hands hugging my knees. I wasn’t listening. My mind was far away. I looked outside the window as the bright light from the sun peeked through the blinders. I constantly muttered a quick ‘Yeah’ or just nodded when she asked me a question.
She probably didn’t care about whether I got better or not. Not that I wanted her to care anyway. She was making bank after all. I missed my former therapist, Ms. Alice. She was easy to talk to and she actually cared. Even though I always told everyone she sucked, she was actually the only person who actually even bothered to listen to me.
The session finally ended and I forced myself up from the sofa that was already starting to relax beneath me. It was fun while it lasted. I went back to my room. I sat on the bed staring blankly at the door. Later a nurse came in with my medicine. I swallowed it.
The sour taste irritated my taste buds. I wanted to puke or flush the pills down the toilet but the nurse made sure she watched me as I swallowed them. This became a daily thing. Soon, I developed a few tactics. I always sneaked them under my pillow when the nurse wasn’t looking then later flashed them down the toilet.
My mom made sure she came to see me each day. My dad dropped by a few times but never with my mum. My only happy days in the hospital were when Caleb dropped by. Caleb was my older brother. We were different in so many ways. He was much smarter and we didn’t like the same things either.
We were both adopted but not at the same time. He was adopted first. When I first got adopted, I had trouble fitting in with all their rules. Caleb helped me through it all and soon I got to like everyone even my dad. He was really strict with everything. Always trying to act tough but he had a soft fatherly side too.