The Hate List

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Chapter 41 - Kitty

“Are you sure this will work?” Aiden asked us as we entered the library. Aiden, Jonah, Jude, and I had come up with a plan B for working out what was wrong with Blake.

“I’m not sure of anything anymore,” Jude answered as we approached the library desk.

Mrs Turner looked up from the book she was reading. “Can I help you?” She asked as she set down the book on the desk.

“Can we please borrow the Uno cards?” Mrs Turner reached into one of the desk drawers and brought out a pack of card. “Return them at the end of lunchtime,” she told us.

“Thank you,” we answered together as Jonah took the pack of cards from Mrs Turner.

“It's Blake's favourite card game, Aiden,” I told him as we left the desk and made our way to the tables at the back of the room.

“I hope this works,” Jonah said as we sat around one of the tables.

“Hopefully, he shows up,” Jude said.

“I’m starting to feel like we can’t help him,” Aiden admitted. “Seriously, what's so bad that he can’t tell us?”

“So are you giving up, just like that?” Jonah asked harshly.

“No,” Aiden replied, definitely “I'm just saying that there is nothing we can do unless he tells us the full story.”

“Sorry, I’m late!” Blake called as he ran over to the table.

We all fell silent as he approached us. I couldn’t help but notice how different he looked.

He was still the same short and thin Blake that I knew and loved, but he looked different in other ways. He had dark black circles under his eyes. His curly brown hair was messy and tangled; like it haven’t been brushed for days.

He looked older. Millie and I always used to tease him about how he looked as if he was, at least, five years younger than he was. I always used to blame it on his small stature and baby face. Blake still had those features. However now, instead of looking like an innocent child who still believed in Santa Claus; he looked like an adult who had the weight of the world resting on his shoulders.

He looked like Tabitha.

Blake looked at the cards on the table.

“Seriously?” Blake asked.

“What are you talking about?” Jude asked.

“You're playing my favourite card game so that you can get me to talk,” Blake complained. Jude, Aiden, Jonah, and I looked guilty at each other. “I was fine before all you decided that I had a problem,” Blake complained.

“You are not fine Blake,” I replied. “Why can’t you just admit that you need our help to get out of this?”

“I don’t know what your help!” Blake answered harshly.

“Why can’t you just tell us what is going on!?” Jonah blurted out. “Please, Blake, just tell us the truth.”

“Why don’t you?!” Blake growled back, I had never seen Blake so angry.

“What are you talking about Blake?” I asked.

“I’m not the only one keeping secrets here,” Blake growled. “If you want me to spill mine why don’t you all tell your secrets?”

“Calm down Blake,” Jude said quickly. “Before you say something you'll regret.”

“You mean like how Jonah is in love with Katarina and Aiden still has feelings for Tabitha, which was one of the reasons Maya committed suicide?!” Blake yelled angrily.

I already knew that Jonah had feelings for me, but hearing Blake say he loved me out loud brought a whole new wave of emotions. Jonah flushed bright red as Blake revealed his secret. Aiden fell silent and just looked at the floor.

Blake took a step backwards as he realised what he had just said. “I’m sorry,” he whimpered quietly. “I shouldn’t have said that.” Blake turned and ran from the library.

“I’ll go after him,” Jonah told us.

“No,” Jude said. “I’ll go. I'm the only one he didn’t say anything about.” Jude stood up silently and followed Blake out of the library.

Aiden, Jonah, and I sat in silence for a few minutes.

“He was right,” Aiden mumbled, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Blake?” I asked.

Aiden nodded. “I always liked Tabitha, not Maya,” he admitted. “I’m the reason Maya's dead.”

“You’re not the reason, Aiden,” Jonah told him.

“Don’t lie, Jonah, it doesn’t suit you,” Aiden told him. “I only said yes when Maya asked me out because I thought I didn’t have a chance with Tabitha. Maya was so happy when I said yes that I didn’t have the heart to tell her I loved her like a sister and nothing more. I tried to tell her so many times but it seem like when she was with me was one of the few times she was happy and I couldn’t take that away from her. So I faked. I faked everything."

“That doesn’t make it your fault that she is dead,” I told him. “Maya had problems Aiden and they were caused by Angelica, not you.”

“I was the final straw, Katarina,” Aiden told me. “The day in the basketball courts when I abandoned her when she needed me.”

“It wasn’t just you, Aiden,” Jonah told him. “We all left her.”

“You can’t keep blaming yourself,” I told him. “The guilt will destroy you.”

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