About Me
Please don't mind my grammar. Even if you do, it is just your waste of time as I won't even bother checking your comments or reviews.
For you I may seem to be rude but it is just the way I am. It is all your fault that I am like this as I am the reaction. Not the action.
Not that I was born to be like this or was arrogant and cold-hearted from the start. It is just that I am fed up of this world.
I may be someone you know but you don't. You might not even want to bother knowing about me as I might even be a stranger whom you found through one of your friend.
That's all about you but this book is about me. I might even die just in a blink of eye with some disease I don't even bother telling my family.
I am just a 13 year old girl who wants to clear all the load on her shoulders. We all make mistakes and get a chance to make them right. But what if you yourself are a mistake for your parents?
It's not that I don't want to tell them about how I feel or about my death because I don't want them to be upset or something... It's just that they won't even give a shit about what's wrong with me.
And after already being a mistake in their life and liability on their shoulders, you surely don't want to hear anymore tantrums of your parents telling you how much trouble you have caused them ever since you were born.
I am scared.... I am scared about every moment I am living. I don't know why it had to be me. But after I got to know about my tumor... instead of getting it cured, I wanted to tell my parents to help me quit school and let me live my life for these few months.
I might not even be able to complete this book but I don't think it would bother you as you won't even be interested in reading about me when you yourself have so many things to catch up with.
My parents might be toxic as after all, all that they have done is making me think of myself as an inferior creature and an useless burden on them.
Burden will actually be the last thing I want to be for someone. That's why I try my best to get myself up for the act I am playing from every time I open my eyes and close them.
They tell me I am fat, nerd, ugly, crazy, have no brains, or may even be paralyzed or something which doesn't even make any sense, but it still affects me.
When I was born, I didn't realize that expectations are greed as well. The more you do better the more they want. They want to soak you all in until you are useless to them.
This was something I realized at young age, and by that I mean when I was 6.
I had a sister as well so it was always hard for me with extra difficulty if your sister is a true genius by birth.
I guess it was my first expectation that got me dragging in the world of creepy people which I didn't even realize until it was too late to return.
I am not the one who I am. But that different me is someone whom I also don't know as I left her behind before I even discovered her.
People always expected me to do the best in studies, be the best girl, shine out on every expectation, start balancing everything, tolerate everything my sister did to me, as anyhow it was always my fault, since I was 6.
I had to be responsible for every action of my sister and me and had to cope up with the expectations of my neighbours as well who didn't actually had any significance in my life.
Studying subjects which didn't even supported my future seemed useless to me and being compared by every passer by was like a ball party held for the prince in the story 'Cinderella'.
The lively me whom I miss everyday left me and all I have now is the scars of punishments I have given to myself for not doing things that I am supposed to according to the society.
I don't even care about them but my parents do so I have to play my role even if I don't want to.
I might be in depression, I might be sick, I might be crazy, but the world is just too fast for me to stop and take a look at myself.
All I think of is how to get rid of this place quickly, live alone, do what I like and enjoy myself.
The time when we should be enjoying and valuing our youth, all we are worried about is our reputation, parent's expectations and exams. The results are something which is the only meaning of our life even though it isn't.
You might even be thinking that this is not hard and that this is our responsibility. You might even hate me for writing all these things and would even be offended but, does that make any difference? No!
It makes no difference. Neither in your life, nor in mine. Cause what I am supposed to be, how I am supposed to live, all has limitations, if it doesn't have definition.
But after all, ain't I just a small girl who doesn't know how to live life, might die but still has no one supporting her? You can sympathize with me but only empathy is what can help me and what I need........
