Out In The Wind

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“Need a drink? I have some vodka if you’d want?” Jaycee says as he brushes my hair out of my eyes. “A drink always helps me get through it alright.”

“Nope,” I answer as I pull off my t-shirt. “Are you sure about this? This outfit and such? What does it matter what I wear if he doesn’t want the lights on at all?”

I look down to the paper on the bed next to us. The list of demands or requests that my first client has. Firstly he wants me to wear only a jockstrap. I am not to touch him apart from giving him a blowjob. I am not to turn on any lights. I am not to speak at all. I am to leave after he ejaculates and not come back into the room until after he is gone, which will be when I hear him knocking twice on the window outside the bathroom I will be standing in.

“Maybe he wants to feel your ass up or something. Some guys want you to sit on their face while giving them a blowjob. It depends on the client. I’ve had this client a few times and he’s always really nice. He will probably try and make you come as well. He once whispered to me that he loves me and he’s always really gentle,” Jaycee says as he combs my hair out of my eyes with his fingers ass he hands me a black jockstrap.

“But he won’t try and have actual sex with me right? It’s just a blowjob?” I ask. I can hear the quiver in my voice, the uncertainty about what I am about to do right now.

“He’s never tried to get anything more than a blowjob, but if he tries you make sure to tell him that if he wants more he’ll be paying a lot more as well. There’s always condoms and lube in the nightstand next to the bed if the two of you come to an agreement,” Jaycee answers. “Now put on the jockstrap. He’s gonna be here soon and we still need to lock you up in the bathroom so that he can unlock you again after he’s come in, taken his clothes off and turned off the light.”

“Would you mind leaving the room?” I ask. I don’t want to get undress in front of anybody at all. Maybe Patrick, but that’s different.

“Dude… You can just as well do it in front of me. You’ll be doing it in front of strangers soon,” Jaycee says, standing up and looking me up and down, making me even more uncomfortable. “What are you scared about in any case. I’ve seen plenty of dicks before.”

I look down into my lap but I don’t get up from the bed. I keep my shirt pressed against my crotch.

“I have a hardon,” I whisper. “And I don’t know why, because everything I am about to do is sickening me.”

“Ah, yes. The eternal curse of being a man. Even if we are repulsed our bodies still respond and betray us in every way they can,” Jaycee sighs as he sits back right next to me. “Look buddy, if you really don’t want to do this I can take the client. He’s a really easy client. You and I can practice a bit later or something. Get you a bit more ready for this type of thing before you see your first client.”

“I need the money,” I say standing up from the bed and dropping my shorts.

If Jaycee had any idea how much I need this money he would just back off a bit. Him being this nice is almost making it harder on me to do what I have to do in order to make sure that my mom doesn’t sleep in a car with my sister tonight. I need to take care of them. No matter what the cost.

I watch Jaycee look me up and down before I drop my boxers to the floor as well. I try to hide my manhood, but it’s difficult when it is standing at attention. I watch Jaycee as he watches me put on the jockstrap and for a few seconds while I am putting on the thing that feels two sizes too small.

“A part of your dick is still sticking out at the top,” Jaycee says, still staring at me after I have put on the jockstrap and allowed my arms to fall to my sides.

“The thing is too small,” I answer, trying to hide myself from him by putting my hands in front of the underwear, concealing my privates.

“Well Patrick is one lucky guy in any case,” Jaycee says with a smile. “Now get into the bathroom and turn off the light. The client will be here soon and he expects complete silence. Remember, don’t talk. He will position you the way he wants you and then he will move your head to his dick. He likes it when you pull on his balls a little bit and sometimes he likes it when you gag. Just kinda see what makes him moan. The harder he moans, the more you will know you’re on the right track.”

“I just want to get it over with,” I say as I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me.

Everything in me wants me to cry but I know I need to be strong. Even when I turn off the light and hear the key turn in the door I just stand in the same standing position, trying my best to fight back the tears.

“This is for mom and Chloe,” I whisper to myself, making sure I know why I am doing this. “This money will be enough for a few nights at a motel. I only need to have enough clients so that we can have what we need. Nothing more, nothing less.”

I hear the key turn in the door again, and the door opening slowly. It is completely dark around me. I can barely see my hand in front of my eyes thanks to the complete blackout curtains I had to help Jaycee put up before the client arrived.

I can hear him breathing and I can hear my heart pound in my chest. I have never been so afraid in my life before.

I take a sharp intake of breath as a hand touches my torso, softly feeling me with his fingertips. I guess he can’t see much either.

I allow his hand to trace its way down my body until it reaches the part of me that I could not fit into the jockstrap no matter how hard I would have tried to do so.

“Mmm,” the man makes a sound, putting his hands into the jockstrap and taking a hold of me, making me gasp. Then he turns around and with his grasp still on me he leads me to the room where I know a bed is waiting. The place where I will be expected to fulfill his weird ass fantasy.

He takes me behind my neck and slowly lowers me. I let him. I know the bed is right underneath me. I know I will land softly on the duvet. What I don’t know is what will happen next. Jaycee never told me what I need to do if a guy tries to hurt me, or even if he tries to force me to do something I don’t want to do. Not that I want to do this either, but at least wants to do something that I haven’t agreed to do with him beforehand.

I feel how he climbs on top of me, the bed making indents beside my head. I wish the lights were on so that I could see what he was doing, maybe not be so scared. I know my eyes are leaking tears even as I feel his fingers on my face, searching for my lips, my mouth. I obey when he finds them, and open my mouth slowly, allowing his fingers to slip inside, making my mouth open up even wider before something else of his is guided into my mouth as well. I allow him to slowly move himself in and out, making me gag a little as he moves in. I wonder what he is thinking right now. If he knows that I’m just a kid and that I would have wanted to be anywhere in the world other than here right now. I wonder if he understands that this is tearing away at my soul and that I hate my body for responding. That the movements my tongue is making is purely automatic, and that I am doing my best to breathe through my nose as he trusts in and out but that he is too big and he is still making me gag as he moves his body up and down above my face.

I almost bite him when I feel him flicking his tongue over my own privates that’s still sticking out of the jockstrap, bringing his tongue up and down between there and my navel, making me ache for release even though I know I would hate myself for it if I did release because of him.

I can feel his hands on my bottom. His lips and tongue probing my navel as his finger plays between the cheeks of my bum, while he still moves up and down on top of me. I can’t help myself from reaching up and taking his balls in my hand, squeezing them gently between my hands.

“Don’t do that,” the voice says. “I asked not to be touched.”

That’s when I push him off me. It takes all my strength to push him to the side, as I jump off from the bed and run to where I know the light switch is located.

For a moment the light blinds us both, but I keep on blinking over and over again until I can see him there on the bed, naked, his hair standing up, his manhood at full attention.

“Fuck! Cory!” he shouts loudly, trying to cover himself up with the duvet, not that it matters to me at all whether he does or not. I have seen him naked now. I have had his dick in my mouth, and I feel like I want to vomit. The feeling of bile pushing up in my throat even makes me forget that my own manhood is showing, still peeking out of the jockstrap I am wearing.

“Mister Watson?” I ask the only words I can manage to get over my lips.

Then I run for the toilet, fall down on my knees and allow the vomit to rip through my body, bringing up the piece of soul that just broke off from me.

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