I feel a sheet being draped around my shoulders, covering my almost naked body as I still hang over the toilet, wrenching what feels like every single cell out of my body. I’m thankful to be covered up, but what I have done, what he has seen makes it not even matter. I have been violated even if I wanted this, needed this, needed the money to help my mom.
“Cory… Are you okay?” Mister Watson asks.
I shake my head from one side to the other, but I try my best to get up, allowing him to take me by the arm and lift me off the floor. I am slightly aware of the toilet flushing and a tap opening. Only when I feel him washing my face for me, the cold water dripping from my chin do I turn to look at him. He looks the way I have always known him, fully dressed. The only difference is that he doesn’t have a suit and tie on, but rather a casual jean and a solid black dress shirt. Still, I can’t help but still seeing him, naked, thinking about the fact that I had given my own principal a blowjob. I can’t escape the fact that he had been licking me and playing with my ass and that my body responded. That it felt good. That I wanted to make him feel good. That I wanted it to continue, if only just for a second before he spoke while the lights were still off.
I allow him to put his hands on my shoulder, leading me back to the bed where he makes me sit down, even pulling the sheet over me again, closing almost every part of my body apart from my feet and my face.
“What are you doing here Cory?” he asks. “How long have you been doing this?”
“You were my first client,” I mutter, looking down at my hands that betrayed me when I started touching him back. The same hands that made him speak. If it wasn’t for my hands I would have never known who my client was. Things might have worked out, but I broke the agreement. I allowed myself to get carried away. I could not keep my hands in order.
“Are you telling me the truth?” Mister Watson asks, putting his fingers underneath my chin and raising my head so that I have no other choice but to look him in the eyes. I can’t help but think about those fingers. How they touched me. How they took away a part of who I was this morning, making me understand that I will never be the same again.
“Yes,” I answer, still not meeting his eyes, trying to keep some kind of emotional distance, because obviously there’s no distance anymore when it comes to physical contact. Apart from penetration we got as close as we physically could I would think.
“Did you lie to me when I brought you into the office a while back? Are the rumors true?” he starts asking and I can feel tears starting to run over my face.
“The rumors are true Mister Watson,” I answer. Addressing him doesn’t come easy. It doesn’t feel right calling someone ‘mister’ after you just gave them a blowjob, but calling him by his name might feel weird as well. There is a part of me that will always see him naked and hard, where there is a part of me that cannot see him as anything else but my high school principal.
“So you are homeless? And this is how you think you and your family will get back on your feet?” he asks, brushing his hand through his hair, making me think of Patrick which makes a rock drop to my stomach. Making me feel so guilty. Because of what I had just done I will have to break things off with him. I can’t tell him the truth, but there is no way I can lie to him either. I have officially lost my dignity, and my boyfriend in one clean sweep by making a quick decision without even thinking it through.
“Who got you into this? The man that owns this place?” he asks standing up from the bed and looking around the room. “And where is your clothing?”
“It was his son. You’re a regular client of his son,” I answer. “And he has my clothing with him. Next door.”
“Oh my god,” Watson mutters, sitting back down on the bed. “Please tell me this guy you are talking about isn’t another minor like you.”
I can see sweat forming on his face, his skin reddening and I am dreading his behavior if I were to tell him that Jaycee is definitely underage in his books. His behavior if he finds out might be just as strange as what he likes beneath the sheets.
“It’s Jaycee,” I whisper. “From school.”
And just like that Mister Watson turns a delicate shade of white in his face. It looks like all blood has left his system and that he might be following my example soon, wrenching over the toilet in the next room.
“We have to leave. And you are coming with me Cory,” Mister Watson says standing up from the bed again. I want to tell him to rather sit down for a minute. That he looks like he might pass out at any second. I also want to tell him that I’m not going anywhere with him, and that I will make my own way… home… or wherever I may be sleeping tonight. But I don’t. I just sit there, still in the tiny piece of material covering half of my privates and a sheet I am sure one can see through, although the latter might just be my imagination.
“I’ll get your clothing from Jaycee,” he says. “Wait right here.”
He says the last part slowly before leaving the room. Almost like I am going to make a run for it down the street while I am practically naked.
The seconds and minutes in which I am alone ticks by slowly as I wait for Mister Watson to return to the room with my clothing as he promised. I wish I could just disappear into thin air, but there doesn’t seem to be a chance of that type of magic happening anytime soon. Not just that, but he will probably tell my mom as well. He will tell everyone that I am nothing but a no good whore. I will lose Patrick, and my mom will probably never even be able to look at me again.
“The fuck man?!”
“Just let me in. I’ll get him and leave, okay Jaycee?” I hear Mister Watson’s voice.
“He works for my dad. My dad says when he leaves,” Jaycee argues back. His voice is raised to a high pitch.
“Cory is a minor. If your father wants to stay out of jail he will let me take Cory right now. And if you want to make something of your life you will come with me as well.”
Mister Watson’s voice sounds calm, but there’s somewhat of a quiver in his voice, a something that makes him sound scared at the same time.
I get out of the bed, the sheet still wrapped around me, hiding my bare ass. I walk over to the door, but I don’t go to close to it. Instead I peer through a gap in the curtains, trying to see what is going on outside. Jaycee is standing between the door and Watson, his arms spread as if to keep Mister Watson from getting anywhere near me. From an outside perspective this must look like Jaycee is trying to protect me, but I know better. Jaycee had already explained it to me. He got me into the business. Therefore, for every client I see he also gets a commission. One day it would be my job to get in a new boy or two, and then I will be the one getting money for them selling their bodies and souls as well. The idea of it made me sick, and at the same time I didn’t care to think about it too much at the moment. I would be out of here long before that happened. I just needed to stick this out until we are back on our feet, no matter the fact that Jaycee believes that when you start doing this you will never stop because of how good the money can be.
“This is my property. You have to leave before I call the police,” Jaycee says. I can hear the fear in his voice. I can’t help but wonder where his dad may be. Something tells me that this is not the type of situation that Jaycee would normally handle alone.
“Then call them. As far as I know being a rent boy is still an offense in this state,” Mister Watson returns, giving a counter threat.
“And so is screwing a minor,” Jaycee answers, the smile on his face something I can almost feel.
“This is enough!” I scream.
I yank open the door, forgetting to hold the sheet closed against my body, allowing it to open in the front, exposing half my penis in the daylight, but I don’t care. It’s not like it’s nothing either of them haven’t seen yet. I have already lost my dignity and my shame. I have nothing more to lose.
“Does nobody ask me what the fuck I want?” I ask. I can feel my face getting red, flushes burning against my neck. “What if I want to do this? Or what if I want to take my clothes and leave? Even thought about just asking me what the hell I want to do with my life?”
“Come on Cory… You don’t want to seriously go with this pervert?” Jaycee asks, touching my arm, but I yank away from him, letting the sheet fall from my shoulders in a bundle at my feet.
“No, I don’t,” I answer, looking straight at Mister Watson as I say it before I turn my gaze back to Jaycee. “But I don’t wanna be some fucking whore either. I can’t do this Jaycee. I can’t sell myself the way you do. Maybe that’s a stupid move, but I think after what I have been through today I’d rather be sleeping in a park than sucking off old men with weird fantasies. I’m not you Jaycee. I’m not about the money. I’m just in it to save my family, and if this is what it takes I’m not sure I can do it.”
I suck in a deep breath and wait for one of them to speak, but when neither of them do, I reach down for the sheet and wrap it around me again.
“Please get me something to wear while I speak with Mister Watson please,” I ask. When I see him eyeing me out I add; “I’m not going anywhere with him. Not just yet in any case.”
I turn my back and walk back into the room behind me, not waiting for long before I hear footsteps and know that Jaycee is going to get me something to wear and that Mister Watson will be following me inside.
I sit down on the edge of the bed and wait for Mister Watson to take a seat as well.
“I know you’re probably not really that old. Probably in your early thirties. But I need to know. Do you like having sex with kids?” I ask not looking at him.
“I didn’t know it was you. The lights were off,” he answers.
“That’s not what I asked,” I reply softly. I can’t help myself from thinking that he might have been thinking about having sex with me and every other student in the school every time he walked past us in class.
“No. I don’t. It’s not like that,” he answers.
“Then what is it about?” I ask. I make a silent promise to myself that I won’t go anywhere with him unless I am sure he is telling me the truth and that I am okay with his explanation.
“I’m ashamed of being gay. I can’t look at myself. I can’t stand the fact that I want to have sex with other guys. Hence the lights that needs to be off. I want to be with someone so badly, but at the same time I don’t want a guy to touch me. You’d probably not understand it, but I don’t want to be gay,” he answers as a sob leaves his body. Here in front of me is a grown man, sobbing and it makes me so sad that I can’t even look at him. I want to somehow comfort him but I have no idea how to do so.
“How old are you?” I ask, trying to make things just a little bit lighter.
“Thirty-two next month,” he answers. “I know that seems old to you, but I don’t feel it Cory. I really don’t.”
“It’s not that old,” I answer back. “Have you ever been in love?”
“Once,” Mister Watson answers.
“Tell me about it,” I say as Jaycee enters the room and drops my clothing on the bed. He joins us, sitting down and staring at me as I get up and begin to strip the thing off my body and put my normal underwear and clothing back on.
“I was fifteen and he was nineteen. He looked a little bit like you Jaycee. Also tall and lean with the blond hair and blue eyes. My dad caught us fooling around and completely lost it. He died of a heart attack that night. I promised my mom that I would be straight after she told me my dad’s death was my entire fault. I tried to keep to my promise from then on,” he says. “That’s the whole story. I can’t help what I feel and what I want, but I can live out my needs by paying for it, and not having to look at a guy. Not being reminded of the person I am inside. The person who killed my father.”
“This is fifty shades of fucked up,” Jaycee whispers.
“Yeah,” I answer.
“What do you want to do now?” Mister Watson asks, wiping away the tears on his cheeks.
“I think I’m going with you, but only if you promise never to tell someone about Jaycee. It’s his choice if he wants out of this or not,” I answer, looking at Jaycee and nodding my head while biting my lower lip, hoping that he will make the same decision as me.
“I have responsibilities. And I have dreams,” Jaycee answers. “Just go before I change my mind and tell the entire school the two of you fucked each other.”
I take that as a win as I take my backpack that Jaycee threw on the bed with my clothing and swing it over my shoulder.
“Let’s get going then,” I say to Mister Watson as I walk out the door, him following close behind me.
“I’ll be back for you Jaycee,” I whisper, thinking of the pretty boy with the good heart sitting inside on the bed as I climb into the red car that takes me away from what could have been the biggest mistake of my life.