How was Mike feeling following Elaine’s visit to him? He had really been emotional and happy to see her again and to have his wife in his arms again, which was like being in heaven for him but why did he have to kiss her? He could have stopped at the hug and been happy with that but no yet again he had been a fool and gone too far. Why did he let himself do things like that? It would seem that he could not leave things nice and happy where Elaine was concerned, it seemed that he could not, as in just one moment he was wrecking her world again. What had changed in him? Mike had never been like this before the rape so why was he doing all of these evil things now? He knew whatever Elaine and he had shared, that he had shattered it all and though it hurt him to think this way he knew he had lost her forever and could he blame her for never wanting to see him again? Imagine his surprise when he was told that the lady who had visited yesterday was here to see him again and had a friend with her this time.
Mike sat down the same way he had yesterday when Elaine had visited him on his own. The guard was inspecting again but there would be no concerns, as Mike knew he had to keep himself more restrained where emotions with Elaine were concerned. He also knew that if he was seen too often the way he had previously been he was going to have to serve the whole of his prison sentence and he wanted to be released within the 6 months if he could.
Elaine and Charlotte in turn greeted Mike with, “Hello Mike”.
“Hello Elaine, hello Charlotte”. Seeing Elaine again only hurt him more. He was not really expecting to see her again but as she had brought Charlotte along too he knew that Elaine did not trust him following her last visit to see him.
“What can I do for you both today?” asked Mike trying to sound cheerful to the couple.
“I do not know why I am here today. I got the divorce papers signed by you and they are now submitted to my solicitor. I guess I want the answer to why you thought you could kiss me yesterday like you did?”
Mike started to cry his deep regret. “I know I am a complete idiot and I lost you a long time ago but I cannot bear my life without you. I want you back in my life so much and seeing you again just made me know that you are still the one for me and I wanted to express that and I guess that is where the kiss came from. Whatever happens I will always continue to love you, that might be wrong but you are my one and only Elaine”.
“You really have turned into a pathetic excuse of a man. You are certainly not the Mike I met, fell in love with and married all those years ago. You have changed and I have no attraction whatsoever to the new Mike. Oh I will admit you are still a very handsome man, that is something, which will never change. I am slightly lying when I just said I have no attraction for you and you know that is a lie. I love you and miss you so much too but I can never forgive you for raping me, that is the thing that pains me the most the rape so yes Mike I want the divorce. That way I can move on and live my life”, with that Elaine and Charlotte arose ready to leave.
Through gritted teeth Elaine spoke with venom “we are finished. Do you hear me? Finished”, with that Elaine walked away with Charlotte and left Mike alone again slightly stunned and shocked by what had just been said to him.
Mike was led back to his cell by the guard when he saw his visitors’ leave but Mike did not remember getting back to where he was staying. He was back in tears and darkness. His heart and mind were heavy. Elaine had made it clear from the way that she had said ’finished’ through her gritted teeth that things were definitely over between them and Mike could not bear the thought of that. Already he was hatching a dark thought, what was the point in his life without Elaine by his side?
Elaine was sitting in a café with Charlotte. It seemed that she was forever spending her life in cafés thinking things over with Charlotte. She had a mug of tea, which was slowly getting colder and undrinkable because her mind was obviously elsewhere.
Elaine finally found words that she needed to say to Charlotte. “I am so sorry Charlotte that you had to see that confrontation with Mike but it had to be said. You can call me harsh but I meant what I said to Mike that we are finished. I just want this divorce over so that I can get that man out of my life.”
Charlotte simply replied with “I cannot say I blame you. Mike, as we both know has tendencies to be dark and depressed but he put this on his own shoulders and you are perfectly in your rights to walk away and continue a life without him.”
“I know I cannot live with Mike or without him but I have to move on and not have any regrets for the future. I have been thinking quietly in my mind about Steve and what I want from him. He has been such a sweetie for staying around and being prepared to wait for my decision as to whether I want a relationship with him or not and I have decided I would like to pursue whatever might happen with him. I want to feel special again, the way he made me feel when we first met. I am not taking things too quickly am I?”
“I like Steve and I know from our night out that he was instantly attracted to you and I know you were smitten with him too. I think from the fact that he listened to you when you first told him about the rape and is prepared to wait for you proves that he is a special man and I say go girl and have some fun”.
Elaine always knew that Charlotte would not offer her advice but would always be there, as a support and she was pleased that Charlotte liked Steve. She was very excited by the thoughts that she had her second chance of being treated like a princess.
“I shall call Steve when I get home and let him know what I have thought”, following this Elaine and Charlotte headed home.
Elaine returned home and spoke to Steve and the good news for her was that they were going on a proper date that evening. The idea of courting Steve made Elaine feel young again but what of Mike?
Mike was enjoying his physical activities at the prison that he could get involved in and even though he was now older and a little less active he was enjoying playing football again. He had been a good striker in his younger years so was pleased that he was still enjoying it.
However, this afternoon was following his confrontation with Elaine and so his mood was angry, upset and darker than ever. The prison guard had left Mike a while for privacy whilst he got changed into his kit. This usually did not take long for Mike but today he was longer than normal.
The guard would not know that somehow Mike had managed to get hold of a sharp knife and had plans. He would still be a coward but in his eyes he could not see that. It was the only solution he could come to that would make his life better. His mind was desperate and his heart ached so he could see no other way than what was to happen next.
Mike although in the deepest depression bout that he would or could ever face was clear of what was going to take place in the next few minutes. This time was it. He had nothing to live for and this was going to be the real thing, not like his overdose, where he had survived, this time he was certain that he wanted to be with his parents in heaven.
Mike’s hand shook whilst holding the knife that he had acquired and he was very scared but it was his way out of the mess of his life. In his head he said the words ’goodbye Elaine’, with that he stabbed himself in the chest. It took some time for the pain to kick in but Mike knew from the wetness that he had done what he needed to do. All he had to do now was wait before he slowly slipped to the floor becoming unconscious and he hoped he would be allowed to die. Mike did not want to survive but what would happen to him now?