It was now Easter Sunday. This year Easter was an early one, being the end of March and though Charlotte loved the start of spring and seeing Crocus’ and Daffodils she had no spring in her step at the moment. Charlotte was now 4 months pregnant and she hated getting this far as she was not quite half way and felt so tired and sick all of the time but was being reassured that her pregnancy was normal and having twins would cause some unpleasant effects, they were so bad though that Charlotte had already been forced to give up work. She was in a vicious cycle, she felt so ill but was bored not being at work at the same time.
Alex was continuing to be Charlotte’s rock and was still excited about the prospect of being a father but had been keeping his emotions in check. His caring nature was kicking in, instead but he felt so helpless not being able to help Charlotte more. What could he do when Charlotte was either sleeping a lot or continuing to be sick? He really did not know how Charlotte was coping but Alex guessed this was probably part of a woman’s maternal instincts. Even so he often thought to himself that a man would never put up with the stress and illness of being pregnant so had to applaud Charlotte for being so positive, when he knew full well she was feeling so rubbish.
Alex was still working at the solicitors because he could not sit around, getting in Charlotte’s way and also they needed all the money they could earn, which luckily for Alex he was able to do as they had a heavy caseload and he was able to do overtime to try and complete some of it. He never imagined that things would cost so much having a baby but then it was made worse as everything had to be doubled. However, Alex loved choosing items for the baby but was sharing this with Charlotte when he could, even though sometimes she could not muster up enough energy to care. She was excited that she was going to be a mum but could have done without the side effects she was experiencing.
It had been a while since Charlotte had seen friends like Holly, for the simple fact that she never felt up for going out for long and if she did she could guarantee that she would spend some of the time being sick so her social life at the moment was none existent and she hated that because she loved going out and partying.
The doorbell rang snapping Charlotte out of her miserable thoughts and when she answered it, it was the person who she had just been thinking of, Holly.
“Oh, Holly. How lovely to see you”.
Holly had missed her friend and so gave Charlotte a hug before saying “it is lovely to see you too but you are so pale”.
Charlotte and Holly entered the lounge to have a girly chat and general catch up since the last time they were together.
“So how are things with you?” Holly could kind of guess the answer to that but needed to start the conversation somewhere.
“Bored, sick and fed up, in a nutshell” replied Charlotte miserably.
“I have missed you so much since you announced you were pregnant. I cannot believe it is twins, is that why you just said you are bored, sick and fed up?”
“I have missed you too Holly and I know my life has gone downhill since falling pregnant. It is meant to be a happy time but at the moment I cannot see that. I am bored because I never wanted to leave work so soon on maternity leave but I could not be working either, as I am either throwing up or sleeping and so fed up. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be a special time but right now I do not feel special”.
“I know it is easy for me to say because I have only had one child at a time but you will get through this and you will be fine and I think the added bonus will be having two bundles of joy to look after. I know you are thinking how am I going to cope with that thought? But just remember that I am always here for you and anything I can do to help you I will”.
“Thank you Holly. You are always a good friend to me and I know that you are right but I just cannot handle the way I feel at the moment”.
“How is Alex taking the baby and twin news?
“I should not criticise Alex because he is the perfect man but to be honest when I first told him I was pregnant he was doing my head in, being too over sensitive and too excited, luckily he has calmed down a bit but seems to be enjoying this a little too much. The twin thing is Alex because we have no history of twins on my side of the family and he did admit there was some on his side. I would be happier at the moment if I could just stop feeling so drained and having the feeling that my life is being wasted”.
“It is not easy carrying a baby, look what I went through and that all worked out. I understand you must feel daunted by the prospect of having two children at once but I know that you are going to be fine and you are going to be a great mother”.
Charlotte knew what Holly was saying made sense and the things that Holly had said complimented her. There would still always be things troubling her mind with the pregnancy but maybe that was her insecurity showing itself?
“I know it is easy to say but do not worry. You are young, beautiful, you have a nice house, not rich but comfortable with money, have a fiancé and father to your babies, what more could you need?”
Holly could always manage to pinpoint what Charlotte was thinking or feeling and she did have to admit that her insecurities were taking over but it was hard not to be when you were either sick or sleeping.
“Ooh I nearly forgot”, Holly commented excitingly diving into the carrier bag, which she had brought with her and gave Charlotte a chocolate egg. ‘It was a lovely thought’, thought Charlotte but the once chocoholic could not stand the sight of it. It was another thing, which had slipped out of her life since becoming pregnant.
Charlotte obviously did not want to offend Holly so simply replied “that is so sweet thank you but I will get round to it after the baby is born as I can no longer take the sight of chocolate, never mind contemplating eating it at the moment.
Holly was needless to say more overwhelmed than shocked and said “wow Charlotte really is suffering if she is refusing chocolate”. It made Charlotte laugh and she for once started to feel a bit better.
“You are truly the breath of fresh air I needed. It is the first time being with you that I have not been sick and that is a miracle, as I seem to spend my life in the bathroom so you will have to come round more often to see me”.
“I am not going anywhere. I know I have been wrapped up in my own life of late but I am always going to be here when you need support, just give me a call and I will come round and I would like to spend more time getting to know Alex, as I do not really know your fiancé and father of your children”.
“That would be lovely and maybe we can have dinner sometime together as a group but not at the moment whilst I feel like I have, although I am hoping how I feel now is how I will feel from now on because I cannot take being so sick anymore”.
“I totally understand. As soon as you are ready we have a date” beamed Holly
“It is on, a deal. I have missed seeing you so much Holly. I could never imagine my life without you as a friend. I just fear when I have twins I will see little of you. I will miss all the fun nights out we had but that is all going to go and I hate to say it but I never want to grow up and be adult”.
“I have missed you too sweetie and you will always have me as a friend, no matter what happens in our lives. You are naturally worried that your life is going to change, which it will but we will still make time for our little party nights and as to the growing up and being adult, yes things will change with the children coming along but who says you need to grow up when you become a mother? You are and will always be you”.
Charlotte knew she was just feeling sorry for herself and so she was definitely grateful for the kind words, which Holly had spoken.
“By the way I have to thank you for keeping me in the loop on the Jamie and Louise fronts. You certainly went through some stuff with those two and I am glad they finally got what they deserved and to think we thought Jamie was so sweet but as I said when you first told me about Jamie’s affair you were lucky to have escaped before you walked down the aisle to him and from how you have described Alex, he is a special man to you. Do you think he is your brightest star that will shine?”
“That is okay you knew Jamie more than Louise but you are right that they both got what they deserved and yes thinking back now I admit I was blinkered in my love for Jamie and I really did think he was my world but since meeting Alex, well you know things have clicked and I really cannot wait to have these children and to marry him. I just let myself get so down and depressed at the moment that I do not always see that”.
“Those are your emotions. I bet one day you feel really happy to be alive and the next you want to burst into tears over the silliest little thing am I right?”
“Yes I am and you are right it is my emotions. I just hate feeling so sick and tired all the time. I am meant to have a glow with being pregnant but that glow has not been ignited yet”.
“It will and whenever you feel like this, just call me okay?”
“I will do just that because you have made me feel so much better and I really should not let things get to me that are out of my control but it is easier said than done for me. I am going to continue to hope that I will not feel sick again because this is the best I have felt in ages”.
Holly just giggled and was pleased with the compliment, which her friend had paid her. Holly then stood up before saying “come here give Holly a hug”. Charlotte was made much happier and it was a feeling, which Charlotte had really missed.
Holly eventually had to leave to attend the school run but before she went she promised “we will do this more often, no excuses”.
Charlotte smiled and simply replied with “no excuses”, it was a few words, which meant so much.
Charlotte pottered around the house and finally was relaxing on the pc. She lost all track of time until she heard a key in the lock and Alex entering the front door.
“I am home” announced Alex.
Charlotte would have run to greet him, not that she had ever been much of a runner but more so as she did not have the energy for that so waited until Alex had hung his coat before he entered the lounge.
Alex immediately spotted a change in Charlotte and was pleased to see her looking so radiant and fresh.
“Wow, what a change” Alex exclaimed before adding “what have you been up to then? It has been a while since I have seen that smile on your face”.
Alex was fussing again but Charlotte was going to start taking it in her stride so replied “well I have had Holly here, which was lovely to catch up with her and I have never felt so better than I do now”.
“That is welcome news to come home to” beamed Alex “and that is good that you have seen Holly. It is definitely what you need to be able to do, have some me time. I can imagine it gets rather boring sitting around here all day and not thinking about work, by the way everyone wishes you well”.
“Yes you are right Alex. I did not think I would but I miss the office so yes it was a breath of fresh air to be able to have some company this afternoon and I have survived a day where I have not been sick. Holly did give me an Easter egg, which I have to confess the thought of chocolate does make me feel queasy but I am so pleased with myself that I was not sick”.
“That definitely is good news”
“Ooh there is another thing when I have had the baby Holly wants us to have dinner together because she is correct in saying that she is my best friend but she has not met you and she really wants to”.
“I am complimented, not sure what she will be expecting but seriously it will be good to meet Holly”
Charlotte laughed, this was another breath of fresh air, which she had needed and she loved being happy and content again but would things take a turn for the worst?