I wake up to a low beeping sound. White surrounds me--white walls, white ceiling... And the sunlight streams through the window on my right.
I can’t move.
I can’t feel anything.
The door opens as my brain tells me I’m in a hospital. A man in a white coat walks in, reading from his clipboard. My family follows behind him as I recognize the doctor is my father.
My mom rushes in, teary-eyed and snot-nosed and grabs my hand.
“Amabel!” She sobs and kisses me on the forehead. The smell of alcohol isn’t very traceable on her.
“Mom...” I croak.
My throat feels like it’s lined with thorns and my head feels like it’s being split in two.
I see my brother look at me with clear troubled eyes as he sits in a chair at the end of the bed. He seems fidgety and nervous.
My father stares down at his clipboard, reading something aloud. I don’t know if I choose to not hear him or I just can’t hear him, because nothing reaches my ears.
“What happened?” I ask as the memories come back.
“Someone ran a red light and completely caved in the drivers side of John’s car.” My dad says, the words coming out with little emotion. “You were lucky, Amabel.”
“Where’s John?” I ask, my heart rate speeding up as the beeps mimic it.
My mom looks at me with sad eyes and I look back and forth between them.
“Where is he?” My voice cracks.
“He died on impact, Amabel.”
I don’t know who it was that told me this news. I don’t care.
He’s gone. My one happiness, my one distraction, gone.
Warm tears start to create rivers on my cheeks as I shake my head, not wanting to believe it. He can’t be dead. He can’t be dead while I’m still alive this can’t be happening--
“No!” I practically scream. I rip my hand away from my mom and she bites her lip as a tear or two fall from her eyes. “No!”
“No! No he can’t be--”
“Amabel Ray Doll,” my dad says in a low voice. “Calm down. People are sleeping.”
“I don’t care! I don’t care dad, do you care?! Do you see what’s happening to me, to John?! John...” I sob, placing my head in my hands. My stomach twists and wrenches inside of me as I try to catch my breath. My body hurts, my lungs hurt, my head hurts.
He was everything... without him I would have gone insane long ago. Without him...
“I’m sorry, honey,” my mom tries to calm me down.
I shiver her away and try to get out of the hospital bed, the drip attached to my arm yanking at my skin. I pull it out as my mom tries to make me stay in the bed.
I stand up and scream as my left hip cries out in agony. I fall back into the bed and hit it.
I lay sobbing.
“Go away,” I grumble through my breathing fits.
“Go away!” I scream and throw a pillow at them. “Leave me alone.”
“Amabel,” my dad says in a low tone. “I know this is hard for you--”
I bury my throbbing head into the mattress, the cold fitted sheet putting pressure on the wounds that are apparently on my head and my nose that is now bleeding.
I hear their footsteps leave the room and I turn myself over, my body’s senses finally awakening with pain.
I stare at the ceiling as I try to control my breathing.
“I’m sorry,” I hear a voice.
He’s still in here.
I groan in response and cover my eyes with my hands. I can feel the scratches and cuts on them as they touch my skin.
I lay still, not saying a word. Tears still flow from my eyes and sniffles echo between the walls of the room.
I hear Tobiah sigh and stand up. His footsteps get further away and a door opens.
“I promise I’ll help make it better.”
The door shuts and I’m left to mourn.