Mary sat in the little room which she and Joseph shared. They had been living in Bethlehem almost a year now and Mary was still adjusting to it. It was quite different from the home she had grown up in but then again many things were different from when she had been a child. Yeshua had been born to her, rather miraculously. She had been a virgin yet somehow... she had conceived the child which now lay asleep in her arms.
Soon Joseph came in from the carpentry shed. He had been working nonstop since they had been living in Bethlehem, it seemed they had not had a good Carpenter in town, till Joseph had come.
"Joseph?" Mary suddenly asked.
Joseph turned toward his wife. He always worried when she would use that soft tone of voice, it usually meant she had a question, a question which he usually could not answer. "What is it, my love?"
"Do-do you ever wonder.." her voice trailed off and then she shook her head. "Nevermind."
"No" Joseph said gently "tell me, what were you thinking?" He pulled out a wooden stool and sat next to his wife.
Her heart pounded loudly as she began to question her own question. Should she even ask such a thing? Would God label it a sin? She could not be sure. Her hand was suddenly grasped by something and she looked up in a start, only to see Joseph smiling at her with his hand holding her own.
"Tell me, your thoughts" he encouraged.
Mary took a deep breath and then she said it. "Do you ever wonder if God made a mistake?"
Joseph's smile vanished. "A mistake? How so?"
"I mean..." Mary took a deep breath and she tried not to let her emotions overun her "I mean with me, do you think he made a mistake with me?"
Joseph chuckled at that but Mary's gaze told him she was not jesting. "Mary, how could you even question? You know as well as I that the Lord God chose you to bear his Son, that's because he knew you would be a good mother to the boy, he chose you for a reason, just like he chose me for a reason, even though I may not understand why, I know there was a reason."
"I just don't know what I can do though! I know nothing about raising children and I especially don't know how to treat God's Son. Will he get hurt like other children? Will he be invincible? Should I treat him like a sacred vase or glass?!"
Mary got more worked up the more she spoke and Joseph knew he must do something to keep the child from waking. Joseph gently knelt down in front of his wife, he then soothingly stroked her cheek and he whispered gently to her "shh, shhh, Mary." Her hand grabbed his as he was stroking her cheek and she just held it there as silent tears escaped from her eyelids.
"I'm sorry, I'm being silly. I just don't know what to do." A sob escaped as her hand broke away from his, the babe in her lap stirred but he managed to remain asleep.
"I understand, Mary. I too sometimes wonder how things are to be and I wonder why God chose me to. But it doesn't really matter why all that matters is that he did. I know I'm not going to live up to it, I doubt either of us will, but I trust God and I trust in what the angel said to both me and you. I think..." Joseph took a deep breath as he sat back on his stool, this was not easy for him either. "I think we should treat him like a normal boy."
"I just wonder how I fit into all of this" Mary said through her tears. She was a strong girl and she (honestly) didn't cry much but since having Jesus so much had changed and she was still so young. She held the look of a woman far older then she was but such a look was deceiving, for her youthfulness was still there, for she was but a youth.
"Whatever happens and whatever our role in this is, at least we have the comfort of being together, no matter what may come or what may happen."
"Yes" Mary agreed. "That is a comfort, Joseph."
Yeshua wriggled slightly on her lap and with both hands she cradled him to her bosom as she rose from her stool. "I'm probably just tired, we should all get some rest."
Joseph agreed but he still had to wash up some so he told Mary goodnight and he gave Jesus' forehead a little peck. He did love the boy, despite the fact that the boy was not his and never would be, he loved him as if he were his own son.
Mary tossed and turned that night her question still lingered in her mind 'did God make a mistake in choosing me?' Her head hurt the more she thought such a thing and she wondered if the pain was from God or if it was simply due to sleep deprivation. Perhaps it is both, she reasoned. Her head turned at the sound of her son shifting around. He was still asleep though, resting peacefully in the little cradle that Joseph had built for him. Yeshua was a special boy, Mary knew he was yet just looking at him one would never suspect him to be different from any other babe. Such things were hard for Mary to understand. I wonder... just what child is this? The question found it's way inside of her and it pushed the other thought completely aside. Mary eventually did fall asleep but even in sleep the question loomed in her mind, what child is this?