Write a Review

Failing At Endurance

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

Failing at an endurance swim and walking home feeling lonely.

Genre:
Drama
Author:
PascalScherr
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
13+

I’d forgotten my towel. My clothes became splotched with water as I put them on. I wrung my hand through my hair until it was wet but had stopped dripping.

I walked outside.

It was gray now and getting cold and there were small groups of college students. I guess I was only a few years younger now. I started walking and no one really paid attention to me.

There were people on their phones. You know how they do. I don’t feel like relaying their conversations.

I went through downtown and got almost all the way home, I got away from everyone. Then I saw my house across the street a block away with the lights on against the late evening. I stopped walking and chewed on my cheek. Fuck it, I’ve got nothing else to do but feel like shit. I turned around and headed back to the pool. I went faster the nearer I got.

Ninety left. Ninety, I told myself. I cut my nails into my palms. Ninety laps left—That’s nothing, it’s all nothing, it’s whatever, they don’t matter, it’s the gray at either end that matters. I spent the morning running, anyway. It doesn’t even overlap. I passed a lot of people and restaurants and hardened my nerves. Better to be dead than soft. I got there with my eyes set and my jaw locked. The lifeguard was outside in normal clothes.

“Sorry, bud—we’re closing. Tomorrow you can get after it.”

“Oh.”

“See you there,” he said and the girl who ran the desk came and they walked away.

Now it was night. I was still wet and in shorts.

I started walking.

They don’t care about the truth. No one cares about the truth. It just doesn’t matter to them. ’Cause they’re liars. Everyone is always lying and I’m the only one who cares, I felt like. It always comes down to arguing if it matters that it’s true, not if it’s true. I can’t believe I have to argue that with people. I don’t like them. I really don’t like them.

“Hey! Sir!” some girl shouted at me.

“Yeah?”

“Your backpack’s unzipped.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

I zipped it up and kept walking. What the hell.

I passed a house party and heard people chattering and laughter.

Every goddamn gallon was dripping on me. I couldn’t get the pool out of my head. I don’t have any interest in contributing to society. I just want to get away. I don’t even feel any kind of oneness with other disillusioned people—playing video games and getting high—you know how they do. They’re not going to be remembered in two hundred years. I’m more alone than you’ll ever know, I imagined telling someone.

I want a girl, but I’m too much of a wimp. I need to be tougher, harder, braver, more creative. Girls aren’t the answer, anyway. It’s about solitude, finding the truth when there’s no one to give me anything to focus on. Friends are distractions. If I need friends to show me avenues I haven’t found, then for the same reason I need not to have friends. All this loneliness is the only way I can find out who I am. It has to be introspection. That’s what’s going to give me what I’m looking for. The will separating me from society. That’s philosophy. I don’t want anything to do with anybody, girls included, I just want a girl in theory, and even that isn’t the answer. I don’t know why I want it then. Nobody cares what’s true, talking on and on in classes like they’re so right as a whole that specific facts don’t matter—you know what I mean.

I need to go find a place up high in the mountains and live there and run a hundred or a hundred forty miles a week and just run and philosophize and never talk to anyone. I could live cheap and I don’t need anything you think I need.

Tracks toward thunder. I want tracks toward thunder.

I want a fight. I want to hurt and get hurt and taste danger. Just want to punch somebody.

I kicked an empty soda can off the sidewalk into the street. Fucking nuclear bombs. I wish there was war like in the old days.

Anyway. No one cares about me or the truth and I don’t care about them.

I saw a guy across the street. He crossed over to me. He walked toward me and I caught his eye. He nodded and walked by.

I need to hit the trails. They don’t care. They’re all decadents, anyway. They don’t matter. What the hell.

I’m going to be tough as nails, tough as iron, tough as twenties boxing gloves.

I got home and I was feeling bad because I hadn’t hit four hundred laps in the pool.

Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

mellinscer: Really enjoyed this story

Country Girl: It’s a really good book this is the 3rd or 4th time I have read it. I will keep reading it over and over

Annette: The book wS very good , even though the grammar was out at times.

Mya: This story is my first one on this platform and I and in love. I used to love reading but lost it and this story restored my love for reading. 100% recommended It has a amazing plot and story.

Marie: Good book great book great story great book great book good book great book good story great book great story great book good book great book good story great story great story great story good story great story great book great story great stories great story great book great story

albaataide44: Me encanta la novela porque además tiene una narrativa muy buena, se la he recomendado a mis amigas

Susanne Ross: Einfach nur wieder der Wahnsinn!!!! Sehr sehr gut geschrieben!!! Sofortige Suchtgefahr!!! Klasse und bittttte noch viele weitere Story ‚s hier von DIR!! Dankeeee ❤️

annemirl56: Gefällt mir sehr gut! Gut und zügig zu lesen.. deine Bücher laden zum entspannen ein.Danke dafür 🫶🫶🫶

More Recommendations

annemirl56: Ich bin begeistert 🤩 Aber sowas von… endlich mal wieder ein guter Autor, der weiß, wie man gute Bücher schreibt 😍😍😍🫶🫶🫶🫶

JILL: Enjoyed the book, Devon and Cara’s story, after an awful and sad upbringing and suffering for years Cara met Devon, he was an Alpha of a different pack visiting her pack. He was sweet, kind and caring, I’m glad she got her HAE

Annie Kay: This is great so far. in fact, it is wonderful but labeling it as complete is rude and unjust. It is only an excerpt and should be labeled as such. I love it but I am not going to pay to read the rest, when you are using inkitt to support and show a piece of your work. Just pay for an ad to get y...

Amanda Gallo: This was an incredible short story. It even had me crying at the end.

kfkurtz49: Loved the story!

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.