Many individuals start their narration after they have presented a little back story of how things had been before they instigated the main purpose of their lives, which for me is finding the love of my life in the very first initiation of my path.
In the time I was born, my parents thought that the new kid stepped into their path would change everything,; however growing up, I, for one, could not find any trace of differences between myself and others. I was a bit ahead of myself compared to others though, meaning I could think of things that they would never dare, the other children. Furthermore, I had always been struggling with the idea of living, thus I had wondered that why I was born in the first place.
We humans might sometimes forget the fact that we will eventually die when the time comes. We commit the most undesirable crimes, hurt our kind, betray our beloved ones, forget the one that loved us most and carry the hatred in our hearts for years and years after and never find the courage to forgive others for their mistakes, without even realizing that we will depart from this miserable and hateful excuse of a planet called earth, and all we will have left for the leftovers coming after us is the memory we have grown in the mind of theirs.
Some people claim that mankind is mortal, meaning we will decay someday and life will have been going like we have never even lived on this planet, yet I would like to beg to differ, assuming some men will never die. Some just are immortal. They may have died physically, however the memory belonging to them would never leave this train of thoughts possessed by us and children who will have someday become mature enough to remember them precisely, though have never seen them. That is what I call being an immortal.
After all, this is beyond obvious that most of the people having worked their souls out of their body and been thirsty of power and fame, could not be in the position of a remembrance although a few of them, if no nil, tried to forbear from their own ambitions for the sake of their beloved ones; therefore, they have been forgotten from minds and gone down the well. Like they have never even been brought to this world in the first place.
Growing up, I have always thought that I had to be special, had to be remembered in minds and had to live a life that no one has ever lived; however now having met the very main definition of especial and perfection, I realize that I am no especial, but never even been close to being one, and I do not enjoy any complains due to being with the one and only chosen; thus, I do not have to be especial. Should you ask why then I would not just put myself out of my misery and get it over with, the answer is that I, now, quite the opposite the past, have something not only to die but live for, being the picture of me and her living the life we have imagined. Not only am I not going to conquer the world nor be remained in the history, but I now have chosen to be in the side of the one that is going to be putting this world on its knees and have it kneeled before her, and that one is you, my dear.
Many years could have passed and I still would not have found you just like how I had been missing you in these past few years, anyhow destiny had made up for all the pain through which we both had been, with bringing us together again.
I, sometimes, feel like that I have always meant to be with you; thus, I could tell you that how I have been missing you my whole life and been hurting due to not being your companion. Some individuals would say every being soul, existing in our world, has definitely some other spirit to be with, but the catch is that we have to be lucky enough to be found by them. Not only have I found the precious piece of mine for which I had been searching my whole life, but I also, probably, got both my and her life ahead of ourselves to be with each other. In the length of history, occasions can be exemplified in which people had been searching for decades to find a treasure or even immortality, though most of them died of age, being lost before having found. With regard to finding a treasure, I often assume that having someone like you is actually an illusion, not that because I was lonely before, but because you are not to be found in an expansion of a life nor may you be found by someone like me.
You have blessed my soul and psyche exactly like how Psyche herself, the goddess of soul, affected Eros, the god of love, and had him fall in love with her. However, our life is no fairy-tale and in spite of not being a myth, ours has not even had a heartily initiation, having us confronted variable threats, damaging the bond of ours. Although we already might have made mistakes or still may do, we will learn from them and build a life about which we had always been dreaming, using the pieces of ours, lost in our sloppiness.
When days past, I find myself more vulnerable than ever, feeling I might break in every second passing without you. Growing up, I thought that the last person on this heartless of a world going to be fallen truly in love is going to be me; however, now, in this early age of mine, I have found myself the most devoted lover of all times. Life has not been ever fair to anyone, forming the whole idea of living as pain and misery. Experiencing love, joy and calm only happens to those having been the luckiest and lived the most supreme of days. Needless to say, I have never felt this lucky in my entire life due to enjoying the company of being with you. You, my dear, have become the main part of my thoughts to the point my entire day is being spent thinking about what will have happened if I lose you one day. The possibility of living in the moment has been taken from me, leaving me with a train of thoughts, being how easily we may lose it all. Despite the saying that goes” when all is lost, all is found” I have come to realize that you, lost and found, have become my all; therefore, I am so eager in protecting and defending you in order not to lose the all I have found.
Life, in my perspective, is like a river, never stopping and always floating. Not only does it not stop for us and always keep moving forward, but if we try to swim in the opposite way and fight against it, it will have us drowned and sank in. Many dies and many are born in a dawn, neither are their deaths or births going to leave a mark on how life goes on nor should they disrupt our vision of life. A day will come when I will not be anymore nor will you be, probably being tomorrow, next week, month or even decades after, nevertheless being aware of that is not going to be ceasing us from loving each other, on account of I believing that a life that may end one day is no meaningless but the one, feeling like ending every day, is, a life with no love. Furthermore, I have not, to the best of my recollection, lived this meaningful my entire life. This miserable excuse of a place called home, is nothing more than a pit or well that drags us all down, leaving us with dreams, wishes and fairy tales, for which we had been living our whole lives. Although we ran and ran in order to get to that safe haven of ours and have it come to existence for good, we never even saw the shadow that might have accrued due to its ever existence. Albeit, we all have been hurt, betrayed and stabbed in the back for a countless of times, being loved and having loved someone else, putting the priorities of theirs ahead of you own, have not been erased from this damaged memory of ours, nor have we forgotten the taste of love, although we might have never felt it in the first place.
Nonetheless, beyond the dark cloak of this world, there would be still light to be found had we just seen it through, having faith and trust in the one and only savior of our world called Love. Nowadays, alas, all the emotions carried on our shoulders have become hatred, envy and sorrow for either the past having gone or the future not having arrived yet, having completely lost sight of the only element we possess, called The Present. We, obviously, have no authority in order to alter the past, nor do we have the chance to arrange a guaranteed future; however now is the moment going to be our past in the future that will have come when the present passes, within which we even form the mentioned future.
There has not been anything, in my opinion, more pure than young love. The bond made in our childhood may not have led us to where we are today had our affection not been initiated in that youth of ours, meaning, as far as I am concerned, those lovers having fallen in love in their youth or even better in their childhood, would be experiencing the closest meaning of true love.