When I think back
The sun was shyly filtering through my room’s curtains at Bon Plaisir, the plush Beverly Hills post-op facility of the rich and oh so famous, and this is as much as my swollen eyes could see.
The slow waking up, and the fireplace side coziness feeling due to massive swelling actually surpassed the agony of the vanity acquired pain.
Unusual warmth shot through my body, as I fuzzily witnessed the sunrise of my second adulthood.
Here I laid, days away from my forty-eight birthday, recovering from my first surgery, a sweet sounding procedure called mini lift, and enjoying the last effects of the anesthesia drip.
My god where did all the years go? It all went so slow, yet so fast!
But after all, no complains about that! I finally stood at the threshold of the age I always wanted to be since ever.
That’s right! I had wanted to be sixty since age fourteen. I guess you could say I was one of very few women who could honestly say that time was on her side.
But a “however” still stood the way of total happiness.
You know, it’s like, what do you do when you have it all, or, let me rephrase that!
What do you do when you have everything you thought you wanted as a woman, and still feel void? A void as deep as the largest Hawaiian volcano’s crater!
Perhaps it means fire lurks down below…fire and steam… ready to explode like a pressure cooker…
It really makes you think, you know!
It all started with men giving me the blue print of the love game, as early as the 12th grade.
Following my most tender years, flirting during school breaks, I quickly understood that the winner in romantic situations is the one who breaks the other person’s heart FIRST!
No bad taste, just a feeling of victory!
At least that’s what I thought, after I saw most of my girlfriends devastated by sexy “babes in the city” and rough players who led them to a total disbelief in themselves, and ultimately to making the wrong choices for the next four lifetimes.
Men are predictable…if they have the slightest perception of you being a good girl, they end up making you feel guilty, so you are not tempted to take advantage of them!
Of course, before you know it, you make sure you do exactly that anyway… at least that’s what I believed in!
“God, when I think back…”
The second fact I quickly learned is that men love women who seem, or, rather, play dumb, innocent, then put them on fire! Men love nuns who act like hookers.
FINE, let them feel as if they succeeded in perverting your sainthood, because they are so hot! Tell them (it works every time)!
“Baby I swear I never did this before…I lose it when I am around you, you know how you make me feel…”
Men think that THEY have a supercharged engine, but ultimately they don’t know that YOU really hold the ignition key.
I guess because you make THEM believe they do… bad girls, bad girls… Men love it, they love to be idolized, they also love to be fooled by women… they find it intriguing!
As a teenager, I was never successful with boys my age, I soon found an alternative…
GET THE OLDER ONES!
Anyways, older men are usually dying to get their hands on younger flesh…like…”OK, I’ll have the baby lamb chops… make that pink!”
Then you can see them think!
“Damn, I still have it…I’m good, really good!” The poor guys are dreaming! Married men, single men, divorced men… same thing! A women CAN really have them all if she wants to!
In Hollywood terms, men are the producers, and women are the directors… guess who usually has the FINAL CUT!?
Only not joking!
Anyway, this leads me to telling you how I got to experience my first man!
It was during a lovely summer, my fifteenth to be precise. The location was the South of France, and I was apparently as sweet as the mimosas delicately scenting this seaside heaven.
The heat helping, or not, I had made up my mind, and there was no return!
I had this terrible need to sleep with one of my mother’s best friends… He was so handsome, older, smart, well-spoken and mannered!
I already appreciated that in a man, although I’ve learned later that it is just a way for smarter men to not only get you in the sack, but also to make you fall in love with them faster, AND deeper…
“…like I had to have him..!”
So, I came up with a strategy to lure him into the ultimate sexy sin.
I could already hear him say to himself…
“God I slept with my best friend’s daughter… she is hot, I’m good… if my friends only knew… He, he, he, that’s exciting… it’s actually SEXY, I’m even better than I thought!”.
Men always find a way to rationalize their actions! Just create the opportunity for them to do it!
The poor guys are dreaming!
So, here is the opportunity I created for Richard (that’s his name).
I called him cold!
“Hi, Richard, Mirabella speaking, yes Leana’s daughter, yes that’s right…By the way, my mom doesn’t know I am calling you… do you think we could get together sometimes soon ? I do need your advice on a project I am working on!”
“Sure!” He said
“What about tomorrow!?”
“Perfect!” I said with a sigh of relief.
I did it! I actually had the courage to call my first man!
He was about forty-six, a tall handsome blond piece of a hunk…
We met the day after, over a cup of tea and cookies,(how sweet is that! ). Following just minutes of casual conversation, he asked me bluntly:
“So! What is it you wanted to ask me about?”
“Well, it is rather complicated!” I replied
I was breathless, my cheeks went from high blush to cadaver white! I felt as if I was sinking into the dark foreign waters of a bottomless ocean…ready to blow a heart valve, I jumped in, anyway!
“Richard, please promise me you will not tell my mother about this, it is a surprise!”
And I went on with it!
“I decided to be a writer, and I am presently doing some research on the psychology of men. I need to fully understand the mechanism deep inside their being!”
“My research is including the distant mythological times, then going through the big romantic periods – 17th, 18th, and the 19th centuries …until now !”
“Somehow I thought you could help me with it!”
He looked at me, on the edge of having a heart attack.
His cheeks became flush…
(He, he, first strike)!
…then swallowed his tea very slowly and proceeded to ask with a very WEEK voice…
“What do you want to know? And why did you come to me !?”
“Well” I said…
“I don’t know how to tell you this but I always had a massive crush on you!”
(HERE WE GO)
“In my mind, you represent the perfect man, you are so handsome, sexy, and intelligent. I am crazy about you..!” (not bad for a first time).
“…So, I thought spending time with you would be very enriching and give me the answers to many questions !”
He looked at me deeply, perhaps meaning to be intimate and profound, to finally say:
“You are right, we should not say anything to your mother, nothing at all !”
He then leaped forward, and proceeded to kiss me, French style. Not that I was dumb, but I had never imagined how far deep inside one’s soul a small three inch tongue could go !
I immediately realized that an experienced one could reach the deepest hidden corners of one’s psyche!
It all of a sudden became really clear… this all love thing was so beyond the flesh….
”duh!”, one would say, but for a novice, it was an accomplishment to get a grip after one kiss.
Now I understand where the expression “burning the candle by both ends” comes from! The flesh is the wick, and the soul is the wax… just need a good flame to melt it all down… God, I love this song…
“Burn, Baby Burn...”
After Richard stroke his zippo a couple of times, I literally gave myself to him. He knew it, and went straight for my candy box…talk about heat!
His hand quickly ended inside my virginal pink cotton panties, and started to play with the most intimate part of me…
It was so good! Really the best think I ever felt!
As his mature and strong hands were traveling grounds never explored before, in a soft, but determined manner…
“More, More, More”, as Andrea True once said!
He went for my “already on their way to be opulent breasts”, tweeting the tips, lifting them by slowly cupping his hands… only to then let the magical and profound density of them make the flesh cascade back on top of my chest…just like a monster wave in slow-mo…
I must let you know that I’ve always been crazy about my breast! It is like wearing designer garb, but without paying for it… talk about a tease! To this day, they still make me feel so deeply feminine!
As he was fondling me, a feeling of agelessness came over me, and I fully understand the magnitude of the power laying inside of my body…you know, Women are so GREAT!
Suddenly feeling most confident, I grabbed THE big stick and proceeded to up and down shift, with no problem whatsoever with the clutch… Aaah, the joy of operating a vehicle without a license… Nothing like it!
No way (even though he probably was aware of it) I was going to let him know I was a virgin.
Somehow, I instinctively felt what I had to
do, and apparently gave him the time of his life, riding the wave like a pro!
It was obvious that I did good when two hours later, I left him dead on a sofa, still trying to catch his breath.
It was so great…I could not believe it!
I never knew one could feel that hot, hotter than the sun…
That was it, I was hooked on men!
I promised myself I would not stop until I knew everything about them! I ALSO KNEW I WAS HOOKED ON OLDER MEN, PERIOD!
One more thing! I did realize that foreplay was a pure waste of time… why bother!?
What are we? Flash frozen desserts which need to be thawed before being eaten..!
Anyway, if, as a man, you have to warm-up a women, you better have more than sex to offer her! And if, (as a man) it is your reality, you better offer that extra bonus BEFORE sex, so you have a second chance at it!
I learned so much that day! Simply delicious!
