“What is going on here?” Cammy asked with her voice ringing authority around the room. I just stared. What the hell is going on here? What did I just do? What did I let THEM do? Oh my gosh I have got to get out of here! I can’t do this. I’m such a whore.
“ I’m sorry Cammy. I am so very sorry. I have to go.” I rushed out through my barely parted lips. Rushing out the door I didn’t hear the yelling behind me and ran straight for my car. I unlocked it with shaky hands while all my brain could process was oh my gosh and I’m such a whore. I drove blindly not knowing nor caring where I was going.
The car slowed down as I heard waves crashing and I knew I had finally ended up in the one place I needed today. My pier, my beautiful ocean waves, my sanctity just steps away. I shut the car off and slowly climbed out of my car. Closing the door gently I began the small climb to the one place I was sure would erase this entire day.
Making my way to the very end I just stared at the vastness and for the first time realized these emotions weren’t being carried away. They simply wouldn’t leave. Maybe the ocean just needed a little more time. That had to be it right? I’ll stand here all night if that’s what it takes. I can’t take living or feeling like this. How was I ever going to face my best friend, my boss? How am I going to do my job knowing I let them do that to me? I am going to have to move and start all over on the other side of the continent. I most definitely can not go back there.
What was I thinking? Has it really been so long since any one has touched me that I would let two perfect strangers touch me like that? Am I craving affection so badly that I would allow that to happen? They mention the word love and I fell at their feet. What is wrong with me? I was fine before they showed up on my doorstep. Why, why did they have to write a book. How is any of this fair to me? Is this God’s way of reminding me that I should still be hurting instead of being a robot? Maybe he is telling me I still don’t deserve his love because he has suddenly realized I’m still here. Does God hate me?
As I stood there the sun started sinking slowly beneath the horizon. I’m not sure how long I stood there, only that the sky simply started to look like it was set on fire while the sun sunk lower and lower into the horizon. These thoughts would simply not leave my head and I had no idea what I was going to do.
I can’t handle the small emotions. How on earth am I going to handle the flood that is going through me now. I see no quieting of the storm any where near and I try pushing them to the waves but it’s just not working. So I simply stood there not knowing what to do but I wasn’t leaving until my calm place worked.
“That was amazing” I whispered in Scarlet’s ear as I hear my brother do the same. She was amazing, beautiful and intoxicating. I could very quickly get addicted to that taste. Going down on her was like nothing I had ever tasted before. And responsive! You want to talk about responsive. She was still shaking from the after effects. I made soft soothing motions on her skin knowing Ryder was doing the same.
God, she’s beautiful. I want more but I’m not going to push her. She isn’t ready and I can most certainly deal with this raging hard on if it means I get a chance of keeping her for a very long time. I can see a lot of cold showers in my future. One simple look at her and I seemed to be sporting a constant hard on. I just hope it doesn’t take to long to break her walls down.
“ What is going on here?” Rang clearly through the room. Shit, Scarlet looks about as scared as she can be. I can feel her stiffening. Wait she’s apologizing? Why is she apologizing? Where is she going? “Scarlet, wait where are you going?” I yelled hearing my brother simply yell her name.
“Oops. I only wanted to mess with her. I’m actually glad she has finally let some one touch her. I was completely surprised when I saw you both touching her. She barely lets me hug her and that’s on a rare occasion. You guys are going to be good for her I can just tell.” Cammy let out in a rush since Scarlet was already long gone. Dang that girl can move.
“As for you two, you had better not hurt her! I have this feeling she has been hurt one to many times in her past. Not that she’ll open up and tell me. It’s just a feeling I get from the way she acts. You are going to have to take things slowly if you want to get anywhere with her and you started off jumping off a cliff instead of just a nice mountain stroll. Your going to have to get her to talk to you now. Make her see that everything is OK and that your going to be there for her.”
Does this woman stop to take a breath. Wow. I think she is freaking out here just a little. “ Don’t worry, we are going to get through that stubborn head of hers if it’s the last thing we do. Now breath your turning colors.” Ryder said with a chuckle. I had to laugh at that myself.
“:Do you have any idea where she would go? Or can you give us her home address so we can go to her. She seemed very distraught and I never want to see her that way again. We need to make sure she is OK.” Cammy thought for a moment, probably deciding if she should tell us such personal information.
A determined look came over her face as she said “ She loves the pier at the ocean. The really long one that extends pretty far into the water. If she’s not there she’ll be at home. Here let me give you her address.” She grabbed paper from the table and scribbled something on it handing it to me. I slipped it in my pocket and ran for the door. Heading straight for my car I felt Ryder right on my heels. We had to find her.
Getting in the car I turned to Ryder. “What are we going to do when we find her? She looked so upset and scared. By the time she actually left she looked like she wanted to off herself. I’m scared Ry what if she hurts herself before we can get there to stop her?” I ran my hand though my hair roughly All of my thought were centered on Scarlet and her safety.
“ Everything is going to be OK Gabe. We just have to find her and quickly. Now do you remember which pier is the longest? It’s already getting dark and I don’t want to waste any more time. We can figure out what to say to her when we actually find her. But I want to check the pier first something is telling me that is where she would go at a time like this. I can only hope she is still there. If she’s gone home she may not open the door and let us in to talk to her. “ Ryder tried calming me but I could tell he is just as worried as I am.
I drove to the one pier I could think of that was extremely long. “Isn’t that her car Ry?” I asked pointing to the one we had put her in at the cafe.
“Yeah Gabe that means she is still here. Lets go find her.” We both got out of the car and locked it as fast as possible. We ran up the small incline leading to the pier and rushed down the pier as fast as we could. It was already dark by the time we got here and the place was deserted except for her car. The moon was bright and all the stars twinkled brightly in the sky as we ran beneath them thankful for the light.
There was a silhouette at the end of the pier but it was hard to make out what the figure was doing. It had to be her though. I put extra effort into running to get to her. What is she doing? Is she climbing onto the side? “ Oh my gosh Ryder she’s going to jump!” I yelled. We both started screaming her name but we were too far to get to her. We weren’t going to make it in time! Just before we reached her she sliced through the air jumping straight off the side of the pier with tears rolling down her cheeks.