It's My Pity Party, I Can Fuck if I Want to
I’ve never been one to listen to gossip, ever since Hannah Kent told our entire second-grade class that I still wet the bed I learned quickly that people constantly lie their asses off.
Whether their motive is fueled by anger, jealousy or plain bitchiness, come hell or high water someone’s pants would burst into flames.
It was a concept I could never let go of so when I got back from my rendezvous with Ethan I had no idea what to believe in.
“Tara,” Kitty snapped me back to reality. Her light pink hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and a Queenwood University t-shirt swallowed her figure. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
Her tone set alarm bells off in my head; The usual chipper southern accent seemed cold and distant. I approached the table where she was signing papers and waited for her to address me.
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, she looked up at me, “Your shift started half an hour ago.”
I glanced around for the hidden cameras. Her sudden reprimanding was far from typical, “I’m sorry I jus-”
“Did I ask where you were?” Kitty snapped. I pulled away from the desk and tried not to wear my heart on my sleeve.
“Is this because I left you guys last night?”
“No, it’s because you’re late.”
I shook my head in disbelief, “Sarah was two hours late last week and it didn’t bother you then.”
“Sarah had her reasons.”
“Well then so do I.”
Kitty scoffed, “Whatever. Just don’t let it happen again.”
“Just go change. Rehearsals start in ten.”
As I walked back to the dressing rooms I remembered why I never had female friends growing up. I debated the possibility of a toxic poison seeping into Jason, Kitty, and Ethan’s brains but with no evidence, I couldn’t come to a conclusion.
I grabbed the skanky sorority girl outfit off my vanity and got dressed for the big number. The other cherries bustled around me as I painted my face until I was practically a different person.
“Carried away much?” Jade laughed at my glimmering cheekbones and ruby red lipstick.
“The assignment was to look like a slutty bimbo, right?”
“I resent that, ” Sarah smacked my ass out of nowhere, “We weren’t all bimbos.”
“Notice how she doesn’t deny being a slut.” Jade said while lining her eyes diligently.
“Fuck off,” Sarah giggled. While everyone else had taken monstrous liberties with their makeup she was barely wearing any. Her cheeks were lightly blushed and dotted with light freckles; short pigtails dangled just above her shoulders.
I took one last glance in the mirror. The girl in front of me was barely covered in all the most flattering places.
My ass was on display by the checkered mini-skirt and the cardigan was buttoned once beneath my breasts. They threatened to spill out of the see-through bra with every move but I figured that was part of the appeal.
“So what’s it going to take for you to tell us about your surprise date?” Jade directed the conversation to the one aspect I had been avoiding.
“I hate surprises.” I didn’t mean for my voice to sound as grumpy as it did.
Jade rolled her eyes, “Well I think they’re sexy.”
“Oh please,” Sarah said, “You just think he’s a fine piece of ass.”
“Can you blame me?”
Sarah laughed, “One thing is certain though if a handsome millionaire came to see me I would be down on one knee.”
“More like two.” Jade winked at Sarah’s reddening face and blew a kiss her way.
I furrowed my eyebrows, “Who are we talking about?” There was no mention of him ever being a millionaire in my book.
“Ethan.” They both answered together before a jinx battle began. Once I got their attention back I asked them what they meant by him being a millionaire.
“He is the CEO of his own company. Real stiff-neck career type but he makes a bundle,” Sarah explained, “Didn’t you already know that?”
I shook my head and tried to come up with a defense to why I never asked what he did for a living. My lack of curiosity could stem from my indulgence in all things Jason.
“Girl, he tipped you two hundred dollars on the first night you met.” Jade said.
She was right and suddenly I felt foolish. How much can I trust a man that I knew nothing about? Then again, Jason was his own personal mystery as well.
My thoughts were cut short when Kitty came into the room with guns blazing. By the look on Jade and Sarah’s faces, this had happened before, and it wasn’t pretty.
She began barking orders and commanding Cherries to get their butts on stage. I could have sworn she was a drill sergeant in another life.
“-And you three,” She pointed her sharpened finger at us, “You’re leading today so be ready.”
She marched out of the room and the door followed behind her.
“Don’t let the door hit you where mother nature split you.” Jade joked when she thought it was clear.
Kitty’s voiced echoed from the other room, “I heard that, bitch!”
“What’s up with her?” I kept my voice low, the last thing I needed was to be on her hit list.
“She’s just in a mood,” Jade shrugged, “It’ll pass once she works it off.” I prayed she was right otherwise I was in for it.
After we reported to the stage like good slutty soldiers, Kitty seemed to be more relaxed. That was until Jason decided to watch the show.
“What do you want?” Kitty snarled at Jason’s presence.
“I want to see the progress of the main event.” He explained without a hitch; This man was much different than the one I had seen just a little while earlier.
“Don’t you have some dildos to make?” Her words were enough to catch all the Cherries attention and make our eyes grow wide with astonishment.
He chuckled, “Don’t you have a dick to choke on?”
Kitty set her jaw in a deliberate attempt not to lunge at him before turning back to us and starting the number.
Several times during the risqué dance I found my gaze wandering over to where Jason stood. It seemed that whenever I would he was always fascinated with a girl in the other direction.
Until I had the first of many wardrobe malfunctions.
“Tara, please try to keep your tits in your bra until after the show?” Kitty’s order sent giggles rippling through the crowd and I felt heat rush to my cheeks.
“I like it,” Jason said, “It gives the show what it’s been lacking.”
“And what exactly is it lacking?” Kitty challenged him.
His eyes met mine, “Excitement.”
There was no way to respond to Jason’s sudden passion for our performance or an explanation for what Kitty said next.
“Then you get up here and dance with us.”
My heart was in my throat as I watched him consider the offer and then strut onto the stage.
Kitty tried to give him the rundown of the steps but he cut her off, “I got this.”
My mind raced as the intro to the music started, Jason had taken a place next to a red haired, long-legged goddess.
The song progressed and I tried to focus on anything but the steamy dance number in front of me. Within a few moments, Jason pulled the ginger queen from the group and started his very own performance.
I swallowed my feelings for what seemed like the billionth time in my sad little life. My eyes followed every fluid movement of his muscles as he wrapped his arm around her waist.
He pulled her into his chest and my heart nearly burst inside of mine. To see red is a dangerous thing, to feel your blood boiling inside your veins is worse.
I felt my brain combust and for a moment there was nothing, nothing but him. She wrapped her leg around his waist and moaned as he kissed her neck.
The seconds ticked by in slow motion. I told myself to look away but my eyes were glued to the scene of the crime. It was then that I realized that everyone had stopped to witness Jason in action.
His lips cascaded down her teardrop shaped breast and time stood still. Somehow they had ended up on the floor with Jason pinning her arms to the ground.
I heard Jade’s voice next to me but everything sounded like I was underwater.
Then Jason kissed her--hard. What happened after that I couldn’t say. I stopped watching his blatant act of revenge and squeeze my eyes shut.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before Jade snapped me out of it, “Dude are you humming show tunes?”
I opened my eyes to see her curiously staring back at me. I looked past her and saw the girl gathering herself off the floor but Jason was nowhere to be found.
“Earth to Tara?”
I couldn’t tell her about my childish coping mechanism of watching cartoons. So I did something I would eventually have to put on my resume if I got any better at it, “No.”
She raised her eyebrow and I knew she didn’t buy it. Lucky for me she had something else on her mind.
“Can you believe what just happened?” I couldn’t.
“Anyone else need to go change?” Sarah chimed in as the other Cherries gossiped.
“There was just too much chemistry there for them not to be doing it.” The Cherry beside me stated.
Her friend agreed, “I’ve heard that he always chooses one of us to fuck. It’s tradition.”
I tortured myself as the girls proclaimed how lucky she was to be chosen and how they would give anything to be his toy. Finally, the truth was clear and unrelentingly cruel.
Jason never wanted to be with me, he just wanted to use me. Before I could rush off stage I made eye contact with Kitty. She was the only other Cherry that wasn’t fawning over the devil.
Her expression softened as she weaved through the crowd and pulled me into her embrace. I fought back the urge to cry while she wrapped her arms around me; Was I that obvious? She let go and stared at me for a moment before giving me a light smile and squeezing my hand.
“You should go home early today.”
“What’s wrong?” Sarah must have noticed Kitty’s sudden affection. I opened my mouth to answer but Kitty cut me off.
“She isn’t feeling well and I think it’s best if she rests.” The girls seemed to be satisfied with that excuse and sent me on my way with a few pats on the back and a bottle of whiskey, courtesy of Jade.
I dragged my feet over the asphalt as I made my way home. The sound of a blaring horn was the only thing that managed to startle me out of my fog; My mind replayed the moment before I walked out the door with Ethan by my side.
When I finally made it back to my apartment I expected to play twenty questions with my unrelentingly nosy mother but instead, I was greeted with silence.
I flicked on the light switch to find everything how I had left it; Cereal crumbs were scattered on the floor from breakfast and my dress from the night was tossed over the lampshade.
“Mom?” There was no answer so I made my way to the guest room and peered inside; The bed was untouched with a small sticky note on the comforter.
"I’m sorry I interrupted your life. -Mom"
I tossed the note onto the bed and slumped down to the floor. Just when I thought the day couldn’t become any worse, I became my mother.
My fingers peeled at the label of Jade’s offering while I contemplated performing my own personal magic trick.
I opened the bottle and prepared to perform a disappearing act; Now you see the alcohol, now you don’t.
As soon as my lips touched the glass there was a knock at the door. I pushed myself off the ground and put on my best poker face for whoever decided to stop by.
A part of me wanted to hope it was Jason coming to beg for forgiveness, but sadly it was Mr. Sexy who was on the other side of the door.
“How do you know where I live?”
His dimples were very visible while he grinned, “Kitty told me.” Just when I started to like her again.
“She also told me what happened today.”
I sighed and tried to conceal my disappointment. The last thing I needed was pity from the man who was in the perfect position to scream ‘I told you so’. “Yeah, it was um,” I struggled to find the perfect word.
“Shitty?” Ethan offered and I nodded in agreement.
“So what do you want?” I was in no mood for polite chit-chat.
“Can I come in?”
I hesitated before taking a swig of the whiskey, “No. I’m drinking and I make bad decisions when I’m drunk.”
Ethan chuckled and glanced at the dingy floor, “Well I guess I’ll just have to keep you company here then.”
I watched him take a seat on the ground just outside of my apartment and fought back a smile.
“Care to join me?” He asked.
I weighed my options: Either get smashed and sob all night or drink with a freakishly hot man. It wasn’t really much of a choice.
Once I was on his level it wasn’t long before he asked for me to pass him the bottle. I reluctantly handed it over and waited for him to break the silence.
“Wanna play a game?”
“It’s called never have I ever,” He explained, “What you do is sa-”
He hummed while seemingly in deep thought, “Never have I ever orgasmed in front of a crowd.”
“That’s targeting.” I complained before he shoved the whiskey my way.
“Drink up, princess.”
I snatched the liquor from his hands and took a big sip. The stairs creaked above him as he waited for me to take my turn.
“Never have I ever been a millionaire before I was thirty.” I figured that if he could target then so could I.
This process continued until we were down to half a bottle. My head was propped up against the door frame as I waited for Ethan to complete his turn.
“I got it,” He slurred lightly, “Never have I ever fallen in love with my boss.”
I scoffed at his cheap shot and raised the bottle to my lips. “Fuck you for making me admit that.”
“Hey at least you got to drink for it, ” He took the liquor and held it up, “Cheers.”
“You fell in love with your boss?”
“What can I say? Authority revs my engine.”
I laughed, “Don’t ever say that again.”
“Well it made you laugh didn’t it?” Ethan smiled as I stared at him.
“Never have I ever fell in love with the wrong man.” I reached for the bottle and accidentally brushed my fingers against his.
I could feel my heartbeat in the most obscure places as he leaned in. My body numb from a cocktail of pain and poor alcohol tolerance, didn’t move away.
Then his lips were against mine and tasted like warm caramel; We melted together in a drunken bliss where everything else disappeared.
But then reality caught up with me, and the illusion came crumbling down. I pulled away and tried to find the right words, “I-”
Ethan held his hand up for me to stop, “Don’t worry about it. ”
“Are you sure?” I asked as he helped me to my feet.
“Yeah,” He said, “I know how much you well, you know.” He turned and started walking to the stairs before adding one more thing.
“I just wish he knew how much of a lucky bastard he really is.”
He was gone before I could say another word; Not that I would know what to say. I leaned on the door and groaned at my poor judgement.
A knock startled me out of my pity party. “Ethan I’m so-” When I opened the door it was dark green eyes staring back at me.
“Ethan?” Jason asked. His voice was rough but the expression on his face was soft.
I cleared my throat, “Yeah he was just here.”
“Did he come in?”
“Yes actually, I put on some sexy Latin tunes and we did the tango,” I glared at him, “Butt-naked.”
He rubbed his chin and stared off into the hall, “I suppose I deserve that.” I didn’t disagree.
“What do you want?”
“Can I come inside?”
“Fine.” I chugged what was left of the Whiskey and moved out of the doorway.
Once he was inside I motioned for him to start talking. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
He ran his fingers through his wavy locks and sighed, “I want us to forget what happened today. We both made mistakes and-”
“Please get out of my apartment.” I cut him off and pointed to the door.
“You want to know what I want?” I didn’t wait for him to respond, “I want a pony, that’s right a motherfucking pony, a hundred grand in my savings account, maybe a nice chocolate molten lava cake and definitely not to have just witnessed you dry humping Anne of green gables two point-oh.” I slurred, “But we don’t all get what we want now do we?”
He sighed, “Tara it wasn’t like th-”
“Then how the hell was it? Because from where I was standing that was exactly what it was.”
“Just what, wanted to hurt me? Well, whoop-dee fuckin’ do. Congratulations.”
“How about you let me get through a damn sentence before interrupting me again?” He growled
I smirked, “Or what, you’ll punish me? ”
His face fell, “No, I’m not going to do that. You have a right to be mad,” He scanned my unyielding expression before continuing, “I was out of line earlier and shouldn’t have..dry humped Wendy.”
The ceiling fan squeaked above us as we waited in silence. My inner voice whispered for me to forgive him but it also convinced me to throw Rose Williams clothes in the lake when she decided to go skinny dipping at camp Tikiwaka. In my defense, the bitch stole my Twinkies.
“Okay,” I avoided his gaze, knowing that one look would pull me back into his web, “I accept your apology. As far as I’m concerned your conscious is clear.”
“I think it’s time you leave.” I blurted out before I lost the nerve. Jason nodded and opened the door. Watching people leave had become a common occurrence for me; I would have been more surprised if someone fought to stay.
“I forgot something.”
“Wh-” I didn’t have time to finish my sentence before his lips found mine and nearly knocked all wind from my lungs.
I barely had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of my lips and, at my permission, entered my mouth. It was a sloppy kiss with the strong scent of whiskey being exchanged in the merging of our breath.
“You don’t get to kiss me and make everything better,” I whispered as he leaned in a little closer, causing our foreheads to touch.
He ran his thumb over my bottom lip tenderly, “I know.”
I ran my fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between us and I could feel the beating of his heart against my chest.
His kisses were my salvation and my torment. I lived for them and I would die with the memory of them on my lips, taunting me and mesmerizing me into the depths of eternity.
He yanked me to him and covered my mouth with his once again. His embrace was the only thing preventing me from dissolving onto the floor.
I was in awe of how my body reciprocated his passion and need for each other’s touch. I opened my mouth against him with a low moan; The sound of his shallow breathing filled my ears.
He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of my neck. My body went rigid as trembles of desire rushed through my body; Warmth radiated from the spot where his lips caressed my neck, slowly spreading through the rest of me. He slanted his head further, deepening the kiss.
His fingers weaved themselves into my hair and guided my movements; The gentle motion of his hips pressed against mine had me drenched within minutes. His grip tightened around me and I was consumed in my lust for him.
“Is this okay?” He whispered against my lips.
The words rolled off my lips like a purr, “Yes, sir.”
He growled and had me pinned against the wall before I could register what happened. His eyes were glowing with a thirst only I could satisfy.
His frame was holding me in place as he thrust his hips into me, “See what you do to me?”
I shivered at his touch as he traveled down to the place that I wanted him most; Only he wasn’t as gentle as before. He rubbed me over my panties and smirked at the state they were in.
“Such a good girl.”
Without further thought I pushed myself further into his hands; I whimpered as his fingers teased my throbbing clit. “Please.” He stared at me until I continued, “I need more.”
His hands left my pussy and in a flurry of desperation, I attacked. Our lips collided and we became a hurricane; The sound of lamps shattering and chairs tipping over, filled the room as we battled for control.
Jason groaned as I stroked his hard cock over his jeans, “Such a good boy.” I teased while in the process of freeing my ride. I didn’t get very far before he grabbed my arms and tossed me onto the back of the couch; My head was facing the cushions while my ass was on display.
I heard the sound of his belt slipping out of the loops and prepared for the worse. The leather rubbed against my wrists as he restrained me. I wiggled against him in a final act of defiance before his hand came down on my ass.
“Aren’t you a horny slut?” He asked. I kept quiet until he yanked my hair back and demanded that I answer him.
“I’m a horny slut!” I cried.
Satisfied with my answer, he pulled me up from my compromising position. I stared at him in confusion, “Do you want to come?” I nodded hesitantly and instantly knew I had made the wrong choice when his infamous grin spread across his face.