Chapter 01. Thot It Up
My best friend thinks that I’m a total slut for wanting to hook up with the two men that just moved into the large house opposite of mine.
Fortunately for me, in the case of my sensitive ego, I don’t take Candy’s raunchy little comment to heart. Not only is my fiery redheaded sister from another mister unapologetically blunt, but she also happened to have had a freaktastic quickie with our bartender from last night.
So fuck it. If I’m such a big nasty slut for lusting after two strangers then so is she for having fucked one last night.
Nonetheless, all jokes and verbal jabs aside, I know she means well. Whatever crude remarks she wants to make about me for wanting to go thot it up with my sexy new neighbors, a pair of gorgeous gentlemen with enough muscles for me to drown in, she can quite simply shove it. I can fangirl over a few strangers if I damn well please because it’s not like there’s much excitement elsewhere to go around down here.
In Cloeville, the pitifully small city that I’ve lived in for the last few years, there’s really not much to fawn over when it comes to that of the opposite sex. Most of the men in this town are either married, old enough to be my father – may he rest in peace – or they’re just strictly homosexual and aren’t willing to experiment with a fumbling train wreck who comes with tits and a vagina, aka me.
“Believe it or not, but I actually have never hooked up with two guys at the same time before,” Candy randomly confesses. And just like that, our conversation about last night’s episode of The Walking Dead takes a sharp left turn into a new direction. “Good God, just look at those two big hunks over there. I bet it’d be a wild fucking ride trying to take them both on at the same time.”
A wild ride that I would love to endure...
“I agree,” I chuckle softly, allowing my eyes to drink in the two handsome men currently hard at work washing their trucks. “A wild ride indeed.”
The men whose identities I’ve yet to uncover officially moved into the neighborhood just the other day. Today they’re outside, both shirtless and glistening with a light sweat, cleaning their gigantic trucks. I don’t know much about them... yet; I don’t know why they moved here, where they’re from, or if they’re even actually related to one another.
For all I know, they could be rude pricks. Or, unfortunately for my thirsty ass, gay and in a relationship with one another. Regardless, I quietly obsess over them.
They’re both tall with hella ripped bodies, low cut beards, soft yet strong facial features, and they both have the most beautiful and well-kempt hair that I’ve ever seen. That lets me know that grooming is important to them and it’s kind of a weak spot for me because there’s nothing sexier than a man who takes good care of himself, inside and out.
One of the men’s hair is lustrous, dark in color, and short in style with loose natural curls pointing in various directions; the other guy has long brown hair that’s probably shoulder length, but I can’t tell at the moment because he has it tucked into a messy bun atop of his head. Not many can properly pull that look off, a man bun, but he damn sure wears it well.
God, if only I could run my fingers through it...
From where I’m sitting, my front porch, they both look like a damn snack just waiting to be eaten. I can only imagine how mouth-watering they’ll look when finally face to face with me.
“So your love life, as well as your sex life, has been in a bit of a drought lately as I’m sure you will agree,” Candy calls me out. My mouth falls open at her statement as I turn to give her my undivided attention, playfully flipping her the bird. She laughs in response. “I say we change that starting now.”
“What’d you have in mind?” I ask with hesitancy.
“As much as I love to take on new challenges, for your sexy as hell neighbors over there, I think you should be the one who goes over and talks to them,” she replies. “You know, welcome them to this shitty neighborhood and all that.”
“You can’t be serious! I’m so not going over there and talking to them!” I panic after being put on the spot. “Have you not paid any attention to what I’m wearing? I have on skimpy booty shorts, dollar store flip-flops, and a rainbow tie-dye shirt that has holes in it. Not to mention that I have zero makeup on right now. I’m the epitome of a hot mess.”
“All the better,” Candy smiles.
“How, bitch?” I scoff, rolling my eyes.
“If those two will accept you at your most ratchet, then I’m one hundred percent sure they’ll ravish you when they get to see you at your best,” Candy replies with certainty. “Just think of it as a test for them. Yeah, you’re looking a little run down at the moment, but who cares? Frankly, if a man can handle me when I’m looking like a ten, he sure as hell will continue to appreciate me when I drop down to a nickel...either that or his ass gets dropped.”
Rather than attempt to try and decipher what the fuck she’s trying to say, I sigh heavily instead while silently weighing the pros and cons of her random request in my head.
Approaching not one but two hot guys while looking like mismatched trash? Yeah, it’s a terrible idea...
I have my days, mostly when I’m heavily intoxicated, where I can be as blunt and outgoing as Candy. I can be loud and tell shit like it is without giving your feelings a second thought. But when I’m sober, it’s another story. I’m super introverted through and through. I know how to handle my own when thrown into socially awkward situations, but if I had the choice, I’d much rather stay cooped up inside my house than be out doing whatever it is that normal twenty-five-year-olds do.
Too bad I’m already light years away from being normal...
As much as she gets on my last nerve, if it weren’t for the boisterous Candy Hampton, I’d truly be a lost cause. She’s what makes me step outside of my comfort zone, whether I like it or not. With my mother in another state and Candy being my only true friend at the moment, it’s because of her that I’m not deathly afraid of having to interact with people.
That and also the fact that I kind of need to be social in order to live and function and make ends meet. Still, I’m human at the end of it all. I have feelings. I get nervous and self-conscious, especially when it comes to approaching hot guys that I know for a fact I want to bone.
“Here, honey.” Candy now stands before me and I can’t help but feel a tad envious for how pretty she looks today.
With her slim model figure, perfect boobs and ass, it never matters what she has on because she always finds a way to make her clothes work in her favor. Always. I’ve literally yet to have seen her look anything less than stunning.
“They’re not for us to drink.” Candy holds two cold glasses of lemonade in her freshly manicured hands. I stare at her in confusion. “Before you ask any questions, this is your icebreaker for the boys. You’re going to take these drinks and walk across the street to give them to your new neighbors. It’s to start a conversation.”
She pauses, her expression growing annoyed when I don't move a muscle.
“Look, it legit doesn’t get any easier than this. I just told you what all you need to do, so act excited and go get your men.”
I’d been so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice when she disappeared into the house to fetch the drinks.
“I just bought that jug of lemonade.” I frown, staring blankly at the glasses in her hands. “Who told you to open it?”
“Layla Emory Mitchell! If you don’t get your ass out of that seat to go over there and score some new-neighbor-dick, I swear I’ll hurt you something serious.” Candy’s bright green eyes shoot daggers at me, making me hop out of my seat with a quickness as I hurriedly take the cold glasses away from her. “Go forth and make your second mama proud!”
To think we’ve known each other since middle school and she’s yet to lighten up on bossing me around, I think to myself while she nudges me off the porch.
Walking at a snail’s pace as I attempt to cross the empty street, my anxiety nearly reaches the clouds as I get closer and closer to two of the hottest men that I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Compared to Candy’s flawless figure, I can’t help but feel a little bit out of place with all my thickness and curves. From elementary school and all the way up until the eighth grade, I was flat in the front and the back. But then high school happened and it’s as if my body had suddenly awakened and said ′hey, it’s time to fill this bitch out’.
From then on, I’ve been casually hanging out on the thick spectrum.
And while I may not have Barbie’s shape, rock-hard abs, or even a thigh gap, I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself ‘fat’ either. Fuck being fat. I’m naturally thick. Way too much negativity is attached to that three letter word; people give it more power than what it needs so I try to stay away from it when talking about myself.
All I know is that at the end of the day, when it comes to having meat on my bones and something for men to grab hold of and slap around during sex, I most certainly have all of that.
Some days I think I’m the shit and that no other girl can get on my level. Other days, like today, I feel like I look like shit.
“Hi! I’m Layla.” I make my presence known after walking in between the two large trucks parked in the guy’s driveway; one is black and the other is red.
The men went from washing the cars to servicing them as they’re now doing something underneath the hoods. I quietly make my way up front to properly greet them.
“I don’t know if you guys heard me, but I’m your neighbor from across the street. My name is Layla. I brought over some...” My mouth goes dry after I make eye contact with the man standing in front of the black truck. As I assumed from my front porch, he looks even better up close. Though it isn’t his glistening six-pack that has rendered me speechless, it’s his stunning gray eyes. “I-I brought over some... uh, some drinks.”
“Thanks. That’s mighty nice of you, Layla.” The handsome gray-eyed devil smiles at me, showing off his pearly whites while moving to stand in front of me. I go as still as a statue, completely entranced by him, letting him remove a glass from my stiff hand while his mesmerizing eyes scan me from head to toe. “I’m Paul. Behind you is my roommate and friend, Aaron.”
“You came at a great time, Layla. I was just about to head inside for a beer.” A deep voice chuckles from behind me. I turn around and lock eyes with Mr. Man Bun. “Nice to meet you, neighbor. I’m Aaron.”
“I’m Layla, as you already know,” I gulped, handing him the other glass of lemonade. “I-I saw you guys out here working on your cars and figured you could use a cold drink.”
“Oh, is that all?” Paul, the one with the practically jet black hair smirks. I look over at him again, shocked to see that he’s already finished his drink.
“Well, no. I mean, I guess I wanted to welcome you guys to the neighborhood and all of that. You know, just trying to be hospitable or whatever.” I blush when his eyes start roaming my body again. He strokes his chin with his free hand and I take it that, despite my lame attire, he likes what he sees. “So, where are you guys coming from, if you don’t mind me asking.”
Not that I actually care, I just want to hear more of your voices...
“We moved here from California,” Paul says, his eyes now focused on my makeup-less face. Empty glass in hand, he casually leans against the front of his truck as Aaron moves to stand next to him, putting them both within my eyesight. “We liked California, even lived there for a couple of years, but things eventually got old and boring very fast.”
“We wanted a change of scenery,” Aaron added while removing the band from his hair. He shakes his head, letting his long brown hair fall. It stops just past his shoulders. “Cloeville is small, homely, and not overrun with scum. We figured this place would be a good fit for us for a little while.”
“A little while? So you’re not anticipating on staying too long?” I ask, working hard to keep my eyes from wandering below their necks.
“That depends,” Aaron laughs, glancing over at Paul.
“On what?” I question.
“It depends on what all this place has to offer to us,” Paul answers with a smile, making me weak in the knees as he looks down at me. I can’t help but feel tiny while standing here in front of them. They both tower over me so easily, it’s intimidating. “Meeting you has been the most interesting thing that’s happened to us since we got settled in.”
“Hopefully we’ll get to see even more of you,” Aaron says, his expression flirty though his tone is serious. “Out of all our other neighbors, you’re the only one who came over and acknowledged us.”
Holy shit, are they flirting with me right now? Am I imagining this?
“Layla, your cell is ringing!” Candy yells from across the street. “It’s work, so you might wanna come and answer it before they get annoyed and fire your ass.”
Of all the times for this bitch to cockblock me this is when she does it!? Really, Candy??
“That your friend?” Aaron asks, looking equally annoyed by the sound of her squeaky voice.
I nod. "I should probably head home and answer the phone before she further embarrasses me."
“It’s unfortunate you have to go. I was starting to enjoy your company.” Paul smiles. “Anyway, I won’t hold you hostage. But it was definitely a pleasure meeting you, Layla. I’m hoping we’ll all run into each other again soon.”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I say in a whisper before smiling and turning to walk away. My ass is phat so it jiggles when I walk and in these short ass shorts, I’m willing to bet my life savings that both of them are staring at it right now.
That’s right, watch me walk away...
“Spill the beans you little blushing bitch! How’d it go?” Candy bounces up and down with excitement after we enter my house together. She trails closely in behind me as I head towards the kitchen sink in order to splash some cold water on my face because I’m hotter than hell heat wise and also sexually flustered. “Oh, and no one actually called you. I just figured you were a nervous wreck and needed saving after being over there for so long.”
“Everything went fine,” I mutter moments later, turning the faucet off and wiping my face with my shirt. “They were nice and very, very hot up close. I found out that they moved down here from California, apparently because they grew bored there or something. Oh! You should’ve seen how beautiful their eyes—”
“Did you get their number or at least ask them out for a drink?” Candy cuts me off. I shake my head, completely forgetting that the mission was to seduce them. “Damn it, Layla! Even when I help you out you still manage to ruin shit. Just what am I going to do with you, girl?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Not expect so much from me and just let me live my life the way I want?”
Rolling her eyes, she sighs. “No worries. There’s always tomorrow. In the meantime, you want to go out tonight? There’s a new club that just opened up downtown and they’re giving ladies free drinks until midnight. Want to go turn up with me and shake off this L you just gained?”
Bursting into laughter, I playfully shove her. “I guess I’ll be down to party, but only if you promise to never say turn up again. That shits been played out.”
Candy laughs. “Okay, fine.”