Loving The Forbidden

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Chapter Twenty Five

Axel lay flat on his back in his small bed, listening to the sounds of his mother moaning in the room next to his. Her current fuck buddy was louder than she was, grunting and groaning.

Placing his headphones over his ears he listened to the music that drowned out the sounds of his mother having sex.
He threw an arm over his eyes and swallowed thickly.

Two days, he’d been back for two days and he already wished he could leave this fucking hell hole.

His mother was pushing him to his limit. The day he’d arrived home, the entire house had been a complete and utter disaster.
He was still working on the outside, the grass had been over grown and weeds had began to sprout.

The nagging feeling of his mistake poked at him like a hot brand. The look on Novas face flashed through his mind every second of the day. While he worked, while he ate, even while he slept, all he saw was her.

He’d destroyed her and now she was haunting him. He knew he deserved it. Shit happened, and he was to blame. He should have been smarter about it. Looking back now, he knew there had been other way to go about the situation, however at the time, the only answer had stood out in front of him like a sore thumb.

As his music blared in his ears, he closed his eyes and reimagined what might have happened if he’d done things differently.

3 months later

Head hung low with his dark hoodie covering his head, Axel walked through the halls of his high school hating everything and everyone.

This was his last year until he was free.

“Axel!” A voice shouted over the loud obnoxious voices of the students littering the long hallway.

He glanced back, keeping his face a blank mask, devoid of any and all emotion. His heart still hurt, but he refused to wear it on his sleeve. He now knew why he’d never fiddled around with the idea of a relationship before...

Ian came barreling through the crowd, squeezing his way past several groups.

“Fucking move!” He yelled.

The hall became silent, and the various groups that had refused to move for Ian, parted, letting him through. They gave him a weary look, everyone knew his reputation for not taking everyone’s shit.

People were assholes and if they were going to be rude even to his friends then he was going to return the favor.

Ian rushed over to him, his face was flushed and he panted heavily as he readjusted the bookbag on his back.

Axels tired eyes met Ian’s and for once, Axel glanced away first. His friend was staring into his soul, he knew how badly Axel had taken everything and the compassion that lurked behind Ian’s eyes tore into him, way more than what he’d be willing to admit.

“What’s up?” He asked leaning back against the wall. His hand twitched, urging him to reach into his pocket and pull out his lifeline, he needed a smoke really bad.

Ian huffed and puffed before drawing himself back up, “I heard... well, umm, I heard from Jeremy that she’s -”

Eyes snapping up to his friends, Axel felt a rush of anger course through him, “Don’t talk about her. At all. ” he snapped.

He didn’t want to know how great she was going. He didn’t want to know if she’d found someone else, which of course he was certain she had. She was beautiful, inside and out. She was ripe for the taking.

Fucking lucky bastard. Whoever he was.

Ian blanched but nodded.

A group of girls walked past, eyeing Axel up and down. The giggled and one was bold enough to wave at him.

Her smile didn’t match hers.

Her eyes didn’t pull him in like hers.

Any and all attraction he may have once found with others simply wasn’t there, because they weren’t her.

He glanced away from them and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. His entire body felt heavy and weighed down. He missed her.

Fuck all!

“Axel you ok?” Ian asked. There was that look again.

“Fine” he snapped before walking away mixing into the crowd.

Would this feeling ever fade?

Six months later

He didn’t think about her quite so much now. He’d learned to bury her and his feelings. He never reached out to her and she never reached out to him.

His father had offered to let him spend the holidays with him, but Axel had declined. It wouldn’t have been a good idea.

His mother was thrilled he’d stayed.

Fucking bitch.

He’d slaved over the stove, cooking the holiday meal. He’d pulled out the various cheap and broken decorations from the attic. He’d bought a cheap tree. This was his favorite holiday, as the decorations made the hell hole that was his home looking and feel a little better.

His mother stumbled from her bedroom, her eyes red and puffy as she hadn’t gotten much sleep last night.

How did he know? He’d been awake as she’d screamed her head off as her boyfriend rammed into her. Fucking disgusting.

He sneered at the large bald man that walked out of her bedroom.

“The fuck you looking at kid?” The man sneered, his face was flushed from all the activity. His eyes bore into Axels. The man, like many before him, hated Axels existence. Simply because he was there. All his mothers boyfriends and or lovers hated him. Maybe it was because they viewed him as a threat or because while he walked through the house, they couldn’t bang her wherever they pleased. Either way, they hated him.

“Get the fuck out of here” Axel sneered at the man.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to you prick?” The man roared just as Axel came to his feet. His mother rushed between them as they both closed in on each other.

“Brandon, hunny, why don’t you go sit down at the table. We can order whatever you want.”

Axel wanted to rant and rave at his mother and this low life but he bit his tongue. A few more months and he’d be gone.

The man, Brandon, strode away giving Axel a death glare.

His mother turned to him, her eyes spitting fire, “What the hell is wrong with you!? I send you to your fathers for a few months and you come back worse than you were before!” She said throwing her hands up in the air.

Clenching and unclenching his fists he took a step back before he did something he’d regret. Turning on his heel he walked to his room, slamming the door shut, disappearing the rest of the night.

The image of Nova consuling him, helping him deal with his mother rushed across the forefront of his mind.

Once again, as he’d done in the past, he checked his phone for any missed calls or texts from her.

And like every other time, he was disappointing and the familiar ache of disappointment traveled through his body, spearing his heart.

Maybe he needed to be the one to take the first step. He’d give her time and when he was no longer bound to his mother, he’d seek her out.

One Year later

Axel had given her enough time. To much time in fact.

He’d graduated, signed up for college courses and had took the first step into find Nova.

As of today, it had officially been a week since he’d seen her. She was still as beautiful as ever, and it was his loss.

He’d found the courage to confront her and ended up watching another man embrace her. The library where he’d found her in had began to close in on him, so he walked away.

His father had called him just yesterday and had told him about his plans on divorcing Patricia. Apparently he’d found love elsewhere.

No shocker there.

A heavy knock pounded at his car door. Glancing up he met the blue eyes of a beautiful blonde. Her dark lips lifted in a sensual smirk.

He felt his own mirror hers and unlocked the door, watching as she strode around the cars front, her short jean skirt hardly covering her ass and her tummy baring tank top show casing the globes of her breasts.

“Hey baby” She said climbing in before leaning over and kissing him full on the mouth.

His body shuddered, almost in revulsion. He held it back, he hadn’t been with a woman in a year, since he’d left Nova.

If she could move on, so could he.

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