Twice Loved

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Chapter 20: Olivia

I angrily scrubbed at the pot in the kitchen sink, trying to get all my frustration out before Mason got back inside and saw it. I'd been trying my best not to show him how angry I was, because I just didn't want to talk about it.

Noah had left, and while I understood that completely, not hearing a peep from him since the last time I saw him in the back window of our car pissed me off.

"Can't even be bothered to let us know he's okay," I muttered as I swirled the scrubber in a circle in the bottom of the pot. I must've stirred too hard because as I brought the brush back towards me, it hit the side and splashed water all over my front. I drew in a sharp breath as I took in what had happened. I peeled off my shirt and crumpled it in my fist. Then, before I could stop them, tears were spilling down my cheeks.

And when Mason came in, it was to find me clutching onto the sink in just my bra and shorts, shirt on the ground as I sobbed loudly.

"Oh baby, no. Please don't cry." Mason's thickly muscled arms turned me around and lifted me up, encouraging me to wrap my self around him as I let it all out.

"I hurt Mason," I choked out.

A wounded noise escaped him, and I pulled back while trying to wipe my tears away so I could really look at him. His own eyes were watering, and I noticed the lines over his face that spoke of his own sorrow.

"Me too Olivia." His words broke the last of any restraint I'd been holding onto, and I cried for all of us. For Noah, who must be going through hell and possibly doing it all alone. For Mason, who was just as much in shambles as I was but I'd been too self-centered to see it. For myself, who had been unraveling at the edges every day that Noah was gone from us.

Mason carried me over to the couch and held me as I sobbed into him, as he shook in my arms with his own tears. We'd been so stupid to have been hiding what we were feeling from each other, for not noticing the pain the other was in. I don't know how long we sat there like that, but after I'd cried every ounce of tears possible for a lifetime I leaned back to really look at him.

"I think we should talk about this," he said in a rough voice.

I nodded. "Yeah. We probably should have right after he left."

"Maybe. Better late than never though. Now tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours Liv."

I cleared my throat, shifting a little on his lap to get closer to him while I spoke. "I'm confused. We haven't heard anything from him at all. I know he got back safely, because of the news on the radio at the store. But I'm dying here, thinking about how alone he could be. If he got his memories back. If he doesn't love us anymore."

My voice cracked on the last word, and Mason cupped my face in his warm hands, forcing me to look at him.

"Listen to me Olivia. You know that he loves you. He loves us both. He just..." Mason trailed of with a frustrated breath. "He's trying to figure himself out. Yes, it fucking hurts like our hearts have been torn out and trampled on by a stampede of rhino and then ground up in a little food processor and fed to wolves, but I'm betting everything I have that he feels the same if not worse."

"I know, you're right. It doesn't really make it any easier though."

"It's not really supposed to. This is what love feels like. You're on fire from how consuming it is. You float on clouds because it's like you've been dropped into heaven just from seeing them smile. You want to take away the pain from the ones you love because it hurts you both, and the fact that you can't do anything to help only hurts more. But I believe with every fiber of my being that Noah will come back. Once he's got everything taken care of, he'll be back. For now, all we can do is trust in him. And come to each other when it's too much to bear. I love you too Olivia, more than I ever have before. I don't want this to pull us apart."

"I don't want that either Mason. I love you so much, more than I thought possible. I need you just as much as I need Noah."

"Thank fuck," he growled right before he pulled my face to his, capturing my lips and kissing me with everything we were feeling. His teeth bit into my lip, showing me his frustration. His tongue licked at mine, showing me his love. And his hands shook lightly as he skimmed them over my body, telling me just how scared he was that Noah wouldn't come back, but that he needed me anyway. His lips moved from mine down to my neck, nipping at me and making me moan.

"I think Noah is what we've been missing every time we tried to be together before," I managed to get out in a trembling voice, saying something that had been on my mind since he'd left.

Mason paused for just a moment, then resumed his little kisses as he spoke. "You know, you may be right about that. Do you think that we might not last just the two of us because of that?"

I took my time to think about that. "Maybe. But I also think that we're different now, and even though it would always feel like we were missing something, we could make it together."

Mason lifted his head and studied my face, searching for the truth there. He must've seen that I meant what I'd said because he pulled me in for another kiss, this one gentle and loving, telling me everything he couldn't express.

And when I pulled away, climbing off his lap and holding my hand out to him, he willingly followed me up to our room. For the first time in all of our relationships, the sex we had as just the two of us was more than fucking. It was still that, but it was more. It was a confirmation of the relationship that we had, just between us two, and it gave me hope for our future whether Noah came back or not.

Something woke me up in the middle of the night. I sat up in bed and waited, listening for any clue of what it might have been. Mason grumbled and shifted in bed next to me, distracting me. I smiled as I looked down at him, my heart full of love for this man. Ever since having our talk a few days ago, things had been so much better; I was lively again, and Mason was back to his playful, dominant self in and out of the bedroom. A sense of restlessness filled me at the moment, and I knew I wasn't going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon. I still had no idea what had woken me in the first place, but nothing seemed different. I shrugged to myself and then climbed out of bed, stretching my nude body to wake my muscles up. If nothing else, doing some yoga outdoors would help to relax me.

I made my way outside to the clearing I usually did my yoga at and started with a few more stretches. Breathing steadily in and out, I began my series of moves.

"Now that's a sight to come home to."

The voice that came from behind me just as I was getting into downward facing dog had me shrieking and jumping up, arms covering whatever they could. I blinked in shock at the sight in front of me, wondering if I was hallucinating. He was wearing glasses, which I wasn't used to seeing but really liked on him. A shy, nervous grin was on Noah's face, and when he shifted on his feet, that's what I realized it was him. he was really fucking here.

I screeched excitedly and forgot about modesty as I ran towards him, jumping in the air just knowing he'd catch me-which he did. I immediately devoured him, tasting his lips and tongue for the first time in way too long. He groaned into my mouth, his fingers digging into my bare ass cheeks as he pressed his already rock hard erection against my bare cunt.

"Olivia? Are you oka- holy shit!" Mason's worried, then shocked, voice had the two of us breaking apart and grinning over at him. Mason stood in the doorway of the cabin in nothing but boxer briefs, and Noah immediately started making his way towards him with me still in his arms.

"I know this is out of the blue, and I know I was an ass, but-"

Mason cut Noah's words off with a rough kiss the moment we got to him, and I couldn't help but rub myself against Noah's crotch at the sight. Mason pulled back just as suddenly as he'd gone in for the kiss, his lips swollen and eyes filled with fire.

"This first. Words later." Noah and I made noises of agreement at Mason's gruff words before he pulled us into a fervent and slightly awkward three-way kiss, but I didn't fucking care. We had Noah back, and that was what mattered. Noah let me down and the three of us rushed inside.

By the time we got back into the room Noah and Mason were just as naked as I was, and we were switching back and forth between each other, touching and kissing and licking and biting and filling the hole that had been there while Noah had been gone. We were tangled up in each other as we moved positions and mouths, whispered words filling the room between our sighs and gasps and the wet sounds of sex.

By the time we collapsed back onto the bed, sweaty and breathing hard, I was pretty sure none of us would be moving for a while. Noah and Mason curled around me and reached for each other across my body. Finally, I felt whole. I didn't doubt for one second that Noah was back for good, but I knew that an explanation was still needed. I was happy to lay there between the men I loved until Noah was ready to talk, and Mason seemed to feel the same.

When Noah started to trace little designs on my side with his finger, I could tell that he was gearing up to speak. I shifted so I could face him and I nearly burst with happiness to see the stormy eyes looking back at me.

"Whatever you have to say won't change how we feel." I said the words quietly, and Mason silently voiced his agreement by squeezing his hand in encouragement. He studied us both and then nodded a few seconds later, taking a big breath.

"Alright. Well. Back in Denver, I was apparently infamous for being a ruthless businessman. Willing to do whatever it took to get the job done, no matter who it hurt in the process. People called me by my middle name Slate because not only did it match the color of my eyes, but because I was as cold and unfeeling as the rock I was named for.

"I was not a good man. I ran an underhanded, dirty business that hurt a lot of people. I had the kinds of connections that could get someone dead. And it almost killed me."

Noah had looked up to the ceiling when he started the story, and now he turned to face us. "That's how I ended up here. When I went back, I used my... connections to figure out that a project I'd pushed through had connections to something like the mob."

"Uh, excuse me?!" My declaration interrupted his story, but holy shit. He'd gotten mixed up with the mob?

Noah cringed. "Yeah. One of my... shadier connections had convinced me it was a good idea to tear down a building that was run by some old nuns and was being used as a kind of mission house. To be fair, it really was a hideous building that needed to be torn down. But what he failed to mention- and I didn't do my own research on it- was that one of the postulates that was working with the nuns there happened to be the little sister of the leader of the mob group."

"What the fuck," Mason growled from behind me.

"Yeah, what he said!"

Noah blew out a reluctant laugh, swiping his hand through his hair. "Tell me about it. My name was all over the project, so that my connection, Xavier, would get off with no repercussions. Meanwhile I'm the one that gets kidnapped and dragged off into the mountains and beaten within an inch of their life in order to delay or possibly even stop the tear down of the building."

"Holy shit," I whispered. "So that's what happened?"

"Yeah." We fell into silence for a moment, and then Mason spoke up.

"Well go on Noah, what happened when you got back?"

I giggled at Mason's impatience, and Noah's lips tilted up in a smile before he continued.

"When I got back, it was crazy honestly. Media frenzy at my return, at the state of my amnesia. I saw a few doctors, and they all told me the same thing you did. Eventually the memories would probably return but that it might take some time. Thankfully,the only lasting damage I have from the beating is a little vision loss which the new glasses help out with."

"And look super sexy, by the way."

"Thanks baby," Noah chuckled. "After it died down a little bit, I finally went back to my office where I found a letter in my desk from Xavier and for some reason that was all I needed to start the flood of memories. Everything I was, everything I'd done... I was disgusted with myself."

He fell silent, swallowed a few times. "That's one of the reasons I stopped talking to you guys. I couldn't bear to face myself, so how could you? You two have been the only light in my life for nearly twenty years and I couldn't bring my darkness into your world just because I was desperate to have you there. I'd been that selfish once, but never again.

"But I also knew I couldn't go on the way I had been, not after loving you two. So I did something that was probably stupid. Definitely dangerous. After doing a bunch of research, and finding out why I was kidnapped and who had done it, I went and found the leader. Leonardo Ricci."

"Shit," Mason cursed quietly, then spoke in a much louder voice than I personally thought was necessary. "What the hell Noah, they could've killed you!"

I looked over my shoulder. "You know who he's talking about?"

"Yeah Liv. I worked in the heart of Denver for years, remember? He took over for his dad when he was just nineteen, and the rumor is he killed his dad to get there."

I paled and turned back to Noah. Before I could berate him for being so reckless, he pressed a finger against my lips.

"Look, I know it was dumb. But I'm perfectly fine, so don't worry about it. Actually, it went way better than I ever expected. See, Xavier had been double crossing the both of us, and Leonardo had just found out about it. When I explained my situation and what I'd found out, he agreed to solve a problem for me if I did the same for him. I refused to let him 'do me a favor' since I didn't want to owe a man like him anything- I wasn't that stupid."

"And?" I shook his arm, practically begging for the rest of the story.

"He agreed to take care of Xavier, and instead of tearing down the mission home and building corporate buildings, I helped to restore the building to its former glory and gave it back to the nuns. It's still being finished; but after selling off a bunch of properties, cutting ties to the nastier people in my life, and handing the reins of my company over to someone way more worthy than myself, I couldn't wait another second to get back to you guys. Even though I wasn't sure you would take me back after the way I acted, I couldn't resist seeing you both at least one more time."

"And that's why you showed up here in the middle of the night?"

"Yes," Noah answered Mason. "I stopped my car about a half mile back because I didn't want to wake you guys up, and I was just walking around the corner when I saw Olivia here, bent over with her perky little ass facing me like she knew I was coming home."

My body filled with warmth at him calling this place his home, and then what he said really made me think. "You know, something woke me up a couple minutes before I went outside. I couldn't figure out what it was, but maybe you're right. I think I could just feel you coming home to us."

All three of us contemplated the idea, and I felt how true it was in the pounding of my heart. This was right, this unconventional relationship of ours, and people could say different but I wouldn't care.

"And now what? Where are you now with all this?" Mason asked the question that had been lingering in my mind.

Noah sat up in the bed and moved me over a little so that he could kneel on the bed between Mason and me. He reached his hands out, and Mason and I copied his movements so that we were a kneeling triangle, hands connected in something stronger than I'd ever felt. This was intimacy, more than sex, more than love. This was a commitment, and I could feel that even before Noah spoke.

"I've done so many things in my life I'm not proud of. I have no excuse for the person I was before I nearly died. I don't know if it was that, or the beating itself, or just being here with you, that changed me and I don't care. What I care about is being worthy of being in your lives. Of being a husband to you both, of deserving the kind of love you've shown me that's possible. You've shown me, for the first time in my life, what it's like to be loved. Not just once, but twice. I don't want this for right now, I want this for as long as you'll have me. Hopefully, forever."

Tears pooled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks at his words, and I squeezed Mason and Noah's hands in mine tightly. "Yes, please yes Noah. I love you so much, my world is incomplete without you in it. You too Mason," I said as I turned to him with a sniffle. "You've been the strength in my life since I've known you, and I don't know where I'd be without that. I want you both here, I want to be your wife, and I want this forever."

"Fuck, Noah, if you hadn't come back soon I was about to go to Denver to find you and make you understand how important you are to us, to me. I never expected to find you, but I think I knew the moment Olivia and I came across your broken body, you were going to push your way into my heart. And Olivia, we wouldn't be the same men we are without you. This," he said with a big swallow and rough voice, "this is what forever is."

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