Motion of the Ocean
Laughter can heal old wounds and it can make you lightheaded from the lack of oxygen getting to your brain. So after we closed up the shop we retreated into Jason's old den with cum stained panties and full glasses of milk to laugh the night away.
Jade still wasn’t too happy about the arrangement, “I don’t see why we can’t have a shot for the road.”
Kitty stared at her, “Okay, repeat that sentence but really slow.”
Jade scoffed and dug another cookie out of the green box. Sarah swiveled around in her chair and let the thin pink robe flow around her.
“So, your fiance is cool with all this?” I motioned to the dildos scattered across the room.
She grinned, “Yeah. I mean I can’t do this after the wedding but he’s worth it.”
Kitty made a gagging sound and we laughed. “Remind me to never take y’all to my family reunion.”
Jade snickered, “Why? They already fucked everyone worth fucking.”
“You haven’t,” Kitty replied.
There was in an evil gleam in Jade’s eyes when she looked up, “Yet.”
“In my defense, I was never told that he was your brother,” I said as Kitty finished off her milk.
“Fine.” She placed her glass on the table between us,“Next time I’ll I sharpie them.”
“Better catch Adam before he leaves then,” Jade said.
“We’re not related.”
“No, but you want to have relations.” I wiggled my eyebrows and wondered if Jade spiked the milk when no one was watching.
“Relations? What are you, ten?” Kitty laughed.
“Out of ten? Yes.” Sarah leaned over a gave me a high-five.
Kitty pulled her feet onto the chair, “Adam and I are only friends right now.”
“Keyword, right now.” Jade said with a mouth full of cookie.
“Yeah, we saw how he looked at you when you unwrapped yourself tonight,” Sarah added.
Kitty bit her lip and then jumped up, “That reminds me, I crunched the numbers from our sales,” She was trying to change the subject.
It was working. “And?” I asked as she pulled several books from under the counter and passed Jade a collection of papers.
“Well, it’s going to be tight,” Sarah snickered and Kitty pretended not to hear her, “but I think a few more nights like this one and we’re going to make it!”
“That’s awesome!” Jade exclaimed, “We should celebrate with a drink.”
“No, drinking. I have to drive to my brother’s tomorrow morning and don’t need a monster hangover.” If I had to be the buzzkill then so be it.
Kitty nodded, “I have to drive home tonight.”
“Why tonight?” Sarah asked.
“My mom has this thing about being together all day Christmas eve. Plus, the sooner I get up there the sooner Jason signs the papers.”
“If you can get him to.”
Kitty looked at me with a familiar flash of determination across her face, “Oh, I will.”
“Hopefully, someone already spiked the eggnog,” Jade said while getting up and retrieving her purse from the pile.
“Leaving so soon?” I asked.
“Yeah,” She pulled her jeans and sweater over the satin undergarments, “My brother needs a ride home.”
“I should be going too,” Kitty started toward her clothes and keys.
“But the night is still so young,” Sarah tried her best to delay them.
I glanced at my phone and swiped away the two missed calls and an email from Ethan. “Nice try but it is getting late.”
Sarah swiveled around, “It’s only midnight.”
“You just don’t want to go home and think about how under fucked you are,” Jade stated as she put on her scarf.
I watched Sarah’s cheeks turn pink and realized I was missing something.
“Wait, why is she under fucked?”
Kitty cut in before anyone else could answer, “Charlie reverted back to our bible thumping roots and doesn’t want to screw around until after the wedding.”
“He can do that?”
They all nodded and Sarah sighed, “I don’t even know how big he is.”
“You’ve never even seen his,” I gestured to my crotch and she gave me a sad look.
Jade scoffed, “I could never not know what dick I was getting hitched to.”
I watched Sarah drift into doubt and knew that I might be able to ease her suffering.
I cleared my throat.“If he’s anything like Jason I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about.” I avoided eye contact with all six eyes widening in surprise.
“I mean,” I pretended my feet were interesting, “there was a slight curve but even that was nice.”
When I looked up Jade’s mouth was hanging open and Sarah was grinning. However, Kitty looked like she swallowed five-year-old tomato soup.
“What?” I broke the silence.
Jade was first to respond, “You finally told us about his dick.”
“We just, thought you never would.”
“I kind of hoped you wouldn’t,” Kitty added with a shiver of disgust.
I laughed, “Sorry. I’ll be more discreet.”
“Don’t you dare,” Sarah said and scooted to me, “You have to tell me everything.”
Jade pulled a chair up to us and sat with the back pressing against her chest, “Width, length, endurance, coloration.”
“Balls,” Sarah said and Jade agreed.
I opened my mouth to respond but Kitty spoke first, “Well that’s my cue,”
Kitty made a beeline to the door but not before Jade made one last attempt to make her spine crawl.
“Why you don’t want to hear about your brother’s massive d-” The door slammed and cut Jade off.
Jade bounced back quickly, “Alright, spill.”
I hesitated but the stars in Sarah’s eyes nudged me to say something. I sighed, “It wasn’t really how big he was..”
Jade furrowed her eyebrows and I decided to kick up my storytelling skills, “It’s not the size of the ship or the motion of the ocean, it’s whether or not the captain stays in port long enough to get all the passengers off.”