Conductor: Portrait of a Mad Man

By Chris Dahl All Rights Reserved ©

Erotica / Horror


The Conductor is sitting in his cubicle at the firm where he sells semiconductors to other big firms while his boss rants at him about another missed sales quota. All he can think about is snapping the little man’s neck. An investigator calls the Conductor to have him confirm the identity of his ex-wife and as he sees her on the morgue table all he can do is think of her naked beneath him – and how badly he wants to kill the investigator. On the subway ride home, he’s furious that everything goes at the same pace. If he were conductor, they would fly and crash in one glorious moment. He has failed at everything – the army, work, family, marriage, school and even religion – and his desire for power has been crushed and tucked away so that he can survive in this mechanistic world and indulge in his lusty need for power and sex..

The Mother Church

Parodos: The Mother Church Finally Answered My Letter

I wrote to the Mother Church:

To Whom It May Concern:

I was baptized a Roman Catholic in St. John’s Church, 419 E. 241st Street, Bronx, NY on the 13th of August, 1975.I have not participated in a Roman Catholic ritual in over twenty years, and I have not subscribed to the doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church for even longer.

Due to recent philosophical, personal and metaphysical realizations, I am obligated not to submit to the “Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith”. I am writing to renounce my Catholicism. I am no longer a Roman Catholic for the following reasons:
* I have seen no conclusive proof that God or any such being exists.
* I believe that consensual sex between adults does not need to happen within the boundaries of marriage.
* I believe that consensual sex is ultimately for pleasure and that procreation is not the ultimate goal of consensual sex.
* I believe a woman has the right to choose to have an abortion.
* I believe that statutory divorce is necessary where marital relationships break down.
* I do not believe in the concept of original sin or of the need for it to be washed away by baptism.
* I do not believe in the concept of sin or the need to confess and be absolved of it.
* I do not believe that any Pope is infallible.
* I do not believe that any individual, object or place is any more sacred than any other.
* I do not believe in Immaculate Conception or any Virgin Birth myths more than any others.

Therefore, I expel all of the blessings and rites conferred on me by the Roman Catholic Church into oblivion, including my baptism, communion and confirmation.

I ask that my name be removed from the records of the Roman Catholic Church.

Please respond in the affirmative.

They responded in the affirmative:

Archdiocese of New York

1011 First Street

Floor 15

New York, NY 10022

Dear Sir:

I have received your letter concerning your desire to be excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. I am sorry we have not been able to speak by phone or in person, yet I can see you are determined in your efforts to be removed from the Body of the Church. Furthermore, there are Canonical reasons for your expulsion and the excommunication should be formalized. Your letter of July 13 lists a number of violations of the Code of Canon law and in particular Canon 1258 which imposes an automatic excommunication (latae senteniae).

Therefore, at your request, I excommunicate you ferendae sententiae from the Catholic Church. I hope this will give you the peace of soul that you request and I know that you are acting in sincere good faith that this is what Our Lord wants from you.

This act of excommunication does not, however, make me or anyone else within the Body of the Church any less wary for the state of your Eternal Soul. In fact, it will make us all the more vigilant concerning your spiritual state.

Sincerely Yours in the Risen Lord.

These were my only thoughts on the subject:

And I was not theirs and never was and never would be and they were not mine in the risen lord because there was not then and it not and has never been a lord to rise or fall to live or to die or to be resurrected. And there is no peace in my soul and there is no vigilance for my soul no orisons no prayers no cathedral groans and no ceremonies because there is nothing eternal there is nothing especially a soul a church a god a lord a prayer a heaven a canon or a body there is nothing really.

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