Saraid sat in the grass, staring out at the expanse of green fields that surrounded her home. Coffee in one hand and pen to paper in the other. Siphoning the spell James put on Liam had proven to be ineffective so she was practicing with spell writing. She refused to give up until she had tried absolutely everything possible.
“Deep in thought?” a familiar voice startled her.
She jumped and turned to be greeted by those piercing gray eyes that mirrored her own, “Huh? Oh, I’m just working on spells. I won’t give up on getting your memory back until I have exhausted every option.”
He took a seat beside her on the grass and stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankles as he always does and leaned his head back as if he were soaking up the rays of the morning sun.
“I cannot deny that a part of me wants to remember what you tell me of our life together. All I have ever craved in my life was to fall in love with a woman who loves me in return.”
“There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to remember?”
He nodded slowly, gauging her reaction before speaking, “I like the idea of love, marriage, and even more so the idea of having a child but, I cannot picture myself so involved with so many people. I view love as something shared between two people, not five.”
She felt like someone had just shot an arrow through her heart, “It wasn’t something I wanted or asked for Li-Aaden. Actually, it was you who told me I had to get passed it because it was necessary for our survival. You’ve always been conflicted over the dynamics because you hated the idea of sharing me, but at the same time you loved sharing them with me.”
“I still can’t imagine it. You said we are involved with Chase too?”
When Saraid nodded her head his lowered and slowly moved from side to side, “I never pegged him for the type either.”
“Actually, Chase is openly bi-sexual. I didn’t know until he practically mind raped us into giving in to our desires. That was the first time we shared a partner.”
Saraid reached over to touch his hand and he quickly pulled it away, “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I don’t want this.”
Her pleas for him to come back were left unanswered as he disappeared around the back of the mansion. She sat there motionless, unsure of next move. Should she chase him or let him run away from her? Should she continue to fight to get his memories back or just let him move on with what he knows now? I can’t make him get his memories back and he doesn’t want them back. He doesn’t want to remember our life because he doesn’t want our life.
She heard the front door open and she started to stand. She wasn’t in the mood to talk because if she did, she risked breaking down or having another episode like the one from the night before.
“Hey sis. Are you sunbathing without me? I thought that was our thing,” Wendy teased.
“I would never do such a thing without you,” Saraid half smiled.
Wendy plopped down beside her, much like Liam did, causing Saraid to return to the ground beside her.
“So, what has you so deep in thought out here?”
Saraid rolled her eyes for effect, “Oh you know. Same old, same old. Trying to save my husband only to find out that he doesn’t want to be saved.”
“What do you mean he doesn’t want to be saved?”
Saraid exhaled deeply and began to tell Wendy of her conversation with Aaden just moments before she came out to take his place.
“It’s important for us to remember that right now he is not our Liam. Our Liam would never give up the love you shared for anything. Right now, he is stuck as Aaden with no idea of the world he is now in.”
Saraid shook her head, “No. Our binding was something that we didn’t choose on our own. We had no say over anyone else that was bonded to us either. Now that he has a choice, am I supposed to just force him to get his memories back and to live a life he never really wanted?”
Wendy placed her hand over Saraid’s, “Aaden is not the same person as Liam. People change and grow every single day. They can go their whole life liking something and then later in life decide they don’t like it anymore and vice versa.”
“I’m just saying that it’s something for me to take into consideration. I wont force him to get his memories back. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that he told me he didn’t want to, and I made him. Our relationship would never be the same.”
Wendy placed her arms around Saraid’s shoulder, so Saraid’s head now rested on hers, “What about your happiness? Do you think you will honestly be able to live without him and still be happy?”
“Probably not, but I would still have a part of him through Treasa. Honestly, I think it would tear me apart to have to go on without him, but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to take if it makes him happy.”
“You are so selfless. So much so that it’s a flaw. Saraid, sometimes you have to fight for yourself and for what you want. It’s your choice, but don’t be too quick to decide. I really believe that if Liam were Liam and not Aaden, that he would want his memories back.”
She kissed Saraid’s forehead and got to her feet, “Just think about it really good before you decide. Trust me.”
Wendy walked back to the front door and disappeared through it. Saraid understood what Wendy was saying. She really did, but since their binding was out of their hands whose to say their whole relationship wasn’t. If not for their binding they may have decided that they really didn’t like each other. She leaned her head back to look up at the sky.
“Are you done toying with my emotions and breaking my heart? Haven’t we been through enough already? Why bring us together if you were just going to allow us to be torn apart? Do you hear me? God, Gods, Fate, Magic, or whatever the hell you call yourself, I demand answers damn it!”
There was nothing but silence. She wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. “I wish I had never come to Ireland. I should have denied my claim to the throne and continued to live in peace with Liam. You took him from me, and I demand you give me my husband back,” she began to scream, “Give him back to me!”
The front door to the mansion opened, exposing Saraid to the several pair of eyes looking out upon her with worry, but she didn’t notice them at all. She had finally broken and there was no turning back until it was out of her system.
She was joined first by Wendy and Jax, who each wrapped their arms around her sides. They were quickly joined by Chase and Guin. Chase kneeled behind her, Guin in front of her, hugging her from all sides. Her heartbreak became their heartbreak. She finally opened her eyes and saw Liam standing there, sword in hand. He took in the sight of Saraid’s disheveled state, sheathed his sword with his head down and turned to walk away. She felt the last remnants of her heart shatter as she watched him walk away.
“I need to be alone,” she muttered as she climbed to her feet and left everyone staring after her as she entered the house.