If you shut your eyes and be still, you can hear them.
The voices, they come as easily as they go.
Surrounded in a world full of hate. I stand alone.
Alone, inside myself, I am alone.
I can't make it stop, I hate, hate it all.
Want to scream, want to shout.
I want love, I need love.
How dare you play with my thoughts.
So easily you come and so easily you go.
And once again I am alone.
Poem by Jaxson Crane.
Seriously, wherein the hell did I put it? I was fumbling around my room for my favorite hoodie.
"Mom! Have you seen my purple hoodie? I need it for the track today." I yelled out. Crap, where is it?
"Yes Phoebe, it's down here on the couch." My mother hollered up at me. I had to laugh, of course. My thoughts went to David and us on the sofa trying to watch a movie. Only that's not what was going on. I smiled and grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs.
My mother and father were in the kitchen. My little sister Sarah, was in the living room eating a bowl of cereal and watching cartoons.
"Hey, little sister, sister." I laughed, as all I got was a wave in the air. I went into the kitchen and sat down in front of my bowl of fruit. My dad kissed my mother on her lips and grabbed his briefcase. He came over to me and kissed my cheek. He winked at me and went into the living room.
"So, you will be there right?" I asked my mother. She took a sip of her coffee.
"You know I will. I've never missed a track meet yet. By the way, report cards showed up yesterday." I took a bite of melon and looked up at her.
"Straight A's again." I smiled expecting nothing less. I heard my dad yell out.
"Goodbye!" My father was a top lawyer for a huge firm here in Woods Roll, Washington state. Top in his firm. We had it pretty much made. My mother owned her own bakery, my older brother Tyler was away at Harvard. His first year in college. My little sister was thriving in the fifth grade. I was on my way to becoming eighteen and graduating high school as valedictorian. I will also letter in track. Needless to say, our parents were proud. I was a good girl and well behaved. I had dreams of being a lawyer like my father and brother. I lived in a big home and had my own car. I was very happy with my life.
"You're going to miss your bus, Sarah." My mother said. Sarah came running into the kitchen, grabbed her backpack, she waved goodbye to us and took off out the front door. Her brown ponytail bouncing as she ran off. I finished my fruit and stood up to get going myself.
"Alright mom, I'll see you at four for the meet." She winked at me and I grabbed my keys and headed out. I drove to my best friend Harley's house. I pick her up every morning for school. I pulled up in front of her house and honked. She came running out with her mother following her.
"Morning Mrs. Heart!" I yelled out.
"Good morning Phoebe, good luck today girls!" She yelled back and waved.
"Is she missing the meet again?" I asked as Harley got into the car.
"Yeah, she has meetings all day." She rolled her eyes. Harley lived only a block from me. Both of her parents were doctors.
"So, what are we going to do for your birthday this weekend?" Harley asked.
"We're having a party at my house on Saturday," I replied.
"Yes I know, the same party we have every year. I'm talking about you and I. What are we going to do for your birthday?" I pulled into the parking lot of the high school.
"I guess whatever you have planned for us." I smiled at her. We got out of the car and David and his friends surrounded us. He pulled me into his arms and gave me a big hug.
"Hello, babe." He said.
"Hello, David," I said back to him.
"Come on Phoebe were going to the cafeteria," David said while taking my hand.
"I can't, I promised the principal Mr. Matthews I would meet him in his office this morning." David nodded at me.
"Alright, well then I'll walk you down there," David said smiling at me.
Mr. Matthews was sitting at his desk when I knocked on his office door. He looked up at me.
"Hello Phoebe, please come in." I walked in and took a seat. The only time Mr. Matthews ever wants to talk to me is to give me a new tutoring job. I was ready for my new assignment.
"The reason I've called you in here this morning is that I have a very special tutoring job to offer you." Special? I said to myself.
"Here's the thing Phoebe, we need someone willing to go to this kids home three times a week to help with school work. You will, of course, be paid by the family." I thought about it for a moment.
"I don't mind helping out, but I can't do it on Thursdays or Fridays. I've got a track meet." He thought about it for a moment. "How about Monday through Wednesday?" I nodded at him.
"That would be perfect." He smiled.
"Just to give you the heads up, this kid has a tough exterior, you might have a hard time reaching him. His name is Jaxson Crane. He is nineteen and needs to finish his senior year."
"How come he can't come to school? Was he in some sort of accident?" He shook his head.
"No, he can't get along with others." What does that mean? I asked myself.
"Do you really think I will be any different?" He scratched the top of his head.
"Well Phoebe, all of his tutors have been male and his parents thought about trying out a girl. You are the strongest girl we have at this school. Just remember this, you don't have to deal with him if you don't want to." All I can do is try. I said to myself.
"Okay Mr. Matthews, I'll give it a try." He smiled at me.
"Here's the address, you'll head over there after school on Monday." I stood up and took the paper from him.
"Thank you," I said and left.
Saturday morning I got up and jumped into the shower. Today was my eighteenth birthday. My family always plans a big party for me. I knew my mother was working her butt off downstairs. I heard the doorbell ring.
"Phoebe, David is here!" I pulled my hair into a ponytail and ran downstairs. David stood there with a bundle of red rose's.
"Aw, you didn't have to do that," I said smiling, as I took the flowers.
"Are you kidding me. My girl only turns eighteen once." David could be so sweet when he wanted to. We have been dating since our junior year. He is a smart guy and the perfect jock. He will definitely be going to college on a football scholarship. He cared a lot about me. At least that's what I thought, but I had planned on letting him go when I leave for college. Our choices for schools were thousands of miles apart. I didn't think it was fair to either of us to try and stay in a relationship. I just haven't talked to him about it yet. Our senior year had just started, I promised myself I'd give it to the end of the year. I care about him, but I don't think I've ever loved him. Besides we haven't even slept together.
I turned and looked out back to find my mother. Wow, was all I said when I saw the backyard. She really outdid herself this year. I'm just wondering if she has realized I'm not fifteen anymore?
"Um, your mother really, um," David said trying to sound nice. I laughed.
"Yeah, but I might as well just let her have her fun," I said smiling.
"Come on babe. I want to take you to lunch." I nodded at him.
"Just let me let my mother know where I'm off to." David took me to my most favorite place in town. Master pops, it's a family-owned restaurant and their food is amazing.
"You never told me why Mr. Matthews wanted to see you. Do you have a new pupil?" I wiped my mouth.
"Yeah, and I'm getting paid for this one," I said.
"Oh really? That's great who are you tutoring?" I sat my sandwich back down.
"His name is Jaxson and I will be working with him at his home after school." David got this weird look on his face.
"You mean you have to go to his house?" I nodded at him. "What did you say his name was?" David asked.
"It's Jaxson Crane," I said. David sat there for a moment.
"Where have I heard that name before?" He said. I watched him while the wheels in his head were turning.
"David, I don't think you know him," I said.
"Oh shit, now I remember. Phoebe, he used to go to school with us back in junior high school." I thought he was crazy. "Don't you remember? The kids used to tease him. They called him crazy Jaxie." I shook my head at him.
"That can't be the same guy. I remember he didn't come back to school for our eighth-grade year. He just disappeared over the summer. That can't be the same guy." I said.
"I'm telling you, Phoebe, it's the same guy. He is a total weirdo. Maybe you shouldn't be going over there alone." I smiled at him.
"Well that was a long time ago and if it really is him, maybe he has changed. Besides, I'll be at his parent's home. It's not like I'll be alone with him." David smiled at me and took my hand.
"Baby, you're too sweet. If you need me to come with you I will." I just smiled at him.
"I think I'll be just fine," I said.
Later that night, I was getting ready for my party. I heard people showing up and it started to get louder downstairs. My mother tapped on my door and peeked her head in.
"Phoebe, your guests are starting to show up. Are you almost ready?" She asked me.
"Yes mom, I'll be down in a minute." She nodded her head at me and closed the door. The party was going great. I was dancing with David when he grabbed my arm and took me into the pool house.
"You really look beautiful tonight Phoebe." He said.
"Thank you, David, but why are we hiding in the pool house?" He dropped his hands to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. He started to kiss me. He was being sloppy and very forceful.
"David, stop it," I said as I tried to push him away from me.
"Come on baby." He breathed into my ear. "No one knows we're in here." I pushed on his chest, but he is a football player and I only weight a hundred and twenty pounds. He didn't even budge.
"David, I said no!" David took a step back. I could see the anger in his eyes.
"Your just a fucking tease." He spits out. I looked him in the eyes.
"I think it's time you left and went home." I started to make my way out of the pool house. David grabbed me by my arm and pulled me back to him.
"I'm so sorry baby, you know I didn't mean it." I just shook my head at him.
"I really think it's best if you go home David and just sleep it off." He gave me a dirty look and headed out of the pool house. I took a deep breath and headed out myself. David left the party right away and after a while, the party started to slow down. Harley and I were sitting by the pool.
"Happy birthday Phoebe, I hope you had a good one," Harley said, smiling at me.
Monday after school I headed over to the address Mr. Matthews gave me. I was a little nervous after David and I talked, but I had a job to do and I really wanted to help. The address leads me to the outskirts of town, deeper into the woods. I found the home and made my way down a long driveway. The house was an older home all done in bricks. The place was huge. I guess they have lots of money, a ton of money from looking at this place. I parked my car and grabbed my bag. I made my way to the front door and knocked. After about two minutes an older gentleman answered the door.
"May I help you miss?" I cleared my throat.
"Hello, I'm Phoebe Huntington. I'm here for Jaxson Crane. I'm a new tutor." The man smiled at me and opened the door for me to come in.
"Please sit here miss." I nodded at him and took a seat. The place was old and it was really dark and smelled of old people. I let out a little sneeze. No wonder he is angry and difficult.
"Miss Huntington." I looked and saw a woman coming my way. "I'm Mrs. Crane, Jaxson's mother." She held her hand out to me and I took it. She was a very beautiful woman. Had to be in her mid forty's. "I'm sure your principal gave you some facts about Jaxson. So, I'm sure you're ready to go and meet him." I nodded at her. "Well, you're in luck. Today seems to be a good day. Your welcome to anything in the kitchen. More than likely you will just be working with him in his room, but your welcome to use any room in the house. Thank you for doing this dear." I smiled at her and started to get a little nervous. What did I get myself into?
"His room is up the stairs, the last door on the left. Just let yourself in. He is expecting you." She left the room. I started to head up the stairs and made my way to his room. Last door on the left. I said to myself. I found the door and tapped on it before I opened it. The room was huge and very neat. I didn't see anyone as I stepped inside. I heard a door open to my right. That's when I saw him. This incredible sexy guy stepped into the room in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He was covered in tattoos and was very well built. His body was absolutely perfect. I took a deep breath with my mouth hung open, just looking at him.
"You like what you see?" His voice was a deep growl.