I stood there staring at him and I could feel the tears fall from my eyes. The first man I have ever loved, doesn't want to stay with me because he loves me. I just stood there all confused. "I don't understand?" I said. He wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Don't cry baby." He said and took a deep breath. His lips found mine and instead of pushing him away like I wanted to. I kissed him back. My arms went around his body and in that moment I was determined to not lose him. I didn't know how, but I wasn't going to let him go. He grabbed my ass and lifted me up to him. He laid me down on the kitchen table and the memories of him and my mother came flashing back to me. I moved my head away from him.
"Not here." I said. He stopped and picked me up bridle style and carried me up to my room. He gently laid me down on the bed. His soft kisses on my neck were driving me wild.
"I don't want to lose you Page." He whispered in my ear.
"You don't have to." I whispered back. I heard him sigh.
"You just don't understand." He said as he removed my shirt.
"Help me to understand." I said, as I removed his shirt. He pressed his warm body against mine. He rolled on to his back and took me with him. Now I was on top of him. I looked him in the eyes and I could see his pain. I just didn't understand. If he cared so much why wasn't he fighting harder to be with me? I couldn't worry about that at this moment. All I really cared about was being with him, right here right now. I bent down and started to kiss his chest. I started to travel down his body till I reached the top of his pants. Slowly I started to unbutton them. I took a hold of his pants and slipped them down his legs. I peeked up to look at his face. He was starring up at the ceiling.
I got his pants off and moved my body back up to his crotch. I slipped his boxer briefs down and his cock sprung upward. It was massive. I wasn't even sure how I took him. I laid there for just a moment looking at his cock. He glanced at me for a moment and went back to looking at the ceiling. The only true sexual experience I had ever had has been with this man. So I took a little time checking him out. I think he knew what I was doing because he didn't bother to ask me anything. He just laid there and stayed quite.
I took a hold of him and placed him into my mouth. I had never done this before and I hoped I would get it right. I remember Brandy trying to show me one night what I needed to do. I wrapped my hand around him, because I knew there was no way I was going to get that thing all the way down my throat. I started to suck and lick him while my hand rubbed up and down on his shaft. I could hear his soft moans. Which only pushed me forward. Every once in awhile I would lick on his balls and go back to sucking the tip of his cock. His reaction was telling me I was doing this right.
"If you don't stop I'm going to cum." I heard his words, but I din't want to stop. I only wanted to bring him pleasure. I kept sucking on him and his moans became more intense. Then I felt his body start to shake as warm liquid went down the back of my throat. "Still amazing me." He said as he got up and took a hold of me. He laid me down on the bed on my stomach. He took a hold of my hips and pulled them up. He placed himself behind me and slammed his cock deep inside me from behind. It didn't hurt in fact it turned me on. I wanted him to be rough.
He started to pound me harder and harder. I was hollering out, begging for him not to stop. "You like it rough, don't you?" He said. I couldn't even answer him with words. All I could do was moan out. We came together and fell down onto the bed. We were both breathing heavily. I turned to face him. He was looking at me. He reached over and ran his hand down my cheek. "I'm leaving in the morning." He said. I just laid there and watched him. What was I going to say? Was I going to cry and have a fit? There would be nothing I could do to change his mind. If this and myself wasn't good enough to change his mind. Nothing was going to. I just laid there feeling my heart break. I didn't say a word.
The next morning I woke up and I was in the bed alone. My heart stopped as I knew he was gone. I sat up and looked around my room. His things were gone. I took a deep breath and realized I had to let him go. My heart broke and in that moment I cried. I must of sat there for a good ten minutes crying. It wasn't just about Spencer. It was everything that had gone on in the last couple of weeks. The stress was just to much for me. I took a deep breath and pulled myself out of the bed and went to the bathroom for a shower.
The house felt different. Most of the time my mother was gone and I was alone in this house, but somehow it felt different. I had always hated this house and I had never been to her other home. I knew I wanted to sell them both. Regardless if I had money now or not. I still wanted to go to school and be someone. I walked into the kitchen to make some coffee, that I much needed. When I saw something sitting on the counter. It was a note. I picked it up and realized it was from Spencer.
My memories with you will always be in my heart. I need you to go and experience life little one. You can't do that with me. Maybe one day you will understand and you will forgive me. Please stay true and honest with yourself. You will always be very precious to me.
Yours always Spencer Alan.
I stood there and just shook my head. At that moment all I felt was used, betrayed and heart broken. Maybe one day I'll feel different, but that day wasn't now. I sat the note down and all I wanted at that moment was my best friend. I pulled my phone out and gave Brandy a call. She showed up within ten minutes. We went out to the back porch and had a seat by the pool. "I still can't believe she left you everything." Brandy said.
"I know right? I'm still in shock about everything. I mean I still don't believe in my heart that she did this to herself. I don't believe everything that has happened between Spencer and myself and then to find out that she left me everything. It's all just so crazy." I said. Brandy just sat there lost in thought for a moment.
"I would like to know why he just left you." She said. I just shook my head.
"Yeah, I can't worry about that right now. You know I always wanted to go far a way from here for collage. I still want to do that. I got into South Carolina University. I think I'm still going to go." I said.
"What are your plans with the house?" She asked me.
"Well I didn't even know she had two homes, but I'm going to sell them both and buy a home in Charlotte by my school. You know you could always change schools and come with me." I said. Brandy smiled and her eyes got big.
"You know your right. I could change schools and run away with you." We both laughed.
"I've got lots to do around here before I go so you have some time to think about it. I mean it, you can go with me if you want to." I said. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking and enjoying each others company. Brandy told me she would think about coming with me, but I knew Brandy was happy here, so I don't think she will come.
Its been about three weeks and my mothers house sold pretty fast. I stayed with my mothers lawyer and he help me to get all my financial priorities in order. I don't know who bought my mothers home and I didn't really care. Her other home in New York still hadn't sold and I decided to take it off the market and keep it as a getaway place for myself. Since I had never been there it didn't pose a threat to me. I did however have someone go in and completely remodel it. I didn't want anything to remind me of my mother. I've mostly moved on from the fact that I still didn't believe that she killed herself. I really didn't know how I would go about even doing anything about it. I decided to just let her rest in peace.
Today I was headed out to South Carolina. It was time for me to find my new home. Brandy decided that she wanted to stay home, but she promised she would visit all the time. I had never been to South Caroline, but all the pictures and research I did, made me fall in love with it. I was super excited to go. It was time to move on to my new life and I was ready.